Read fideL's thoughts...
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some he has written down...
Infantile Sexuality... the previous chronicles of fideL ...
FideL coLumn no 10 |
 heLLo peopLe - there are a Lot of reviews for some reason. i guess i must have gone out. don't worry, i'm sure to rap on about fish-fingers or something next month... wired women - 24th feb @ the spitz
yes foLks - yours truLy is the first ever man to pLay at wired women! i'm going to put that on my cv, but more of this Later. the name of this occasionaL event is often misconstrued as "weird women", which in a way i suppose it is - if u think women can't be truisted with the pLugs in your house.
i dont know, its just birds with Laptops or minidiscs or something doing stuff. tonite, my bird bishi pLays three songs with me rocking on guitar. i think we did rather weLL considering she sacked the drummer 3 days before the gig and toLd me to make a backing track. anyway, she's off to give what i did to cursor minor who's going to rob it + steaL aLL my programming gLory on her new aLbum.
daria is next, and she is Like a poLe-dancing-without the poLe-peaches-pop-tastic-jewess. is it any good? weLL the feather boa's seen better days, but its ok if u Like that sort of thing. and by that sort of thing i mean sex i suppose. do u Like sex? im not drunk so i am a bit bored of this kind of thing. seriousLy, how can anyone have sex sober?
i must expLain what a cooL person anat ben david is. she is one of the chicks on speed and she is tonite's compere and is on next. i thought she was awfuL at kashpoint, but tonite i thought she was much more better. i cant teLL you what changed, maybe she just sang a rubbish song before, but her exciting bLend of Laptop/synth pop expressionism in bacofoiL + ghouLish makeup go down a reaL hooty and the bLowfish.
Last is a women who used to be in the raincoats. forgive me, they were a bit before my time + im not sure who she was, but her dreary bLend of waffLy art was ok i suppose... it was the musicaL equiviLent of a scottish Lighthouse in miLd sLeet. the chiLd she was carting arround Looks in good hands though.
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next day @ the teLegraph, "brixton" hiLL
good god, i hate brixton. weird things happen when u go south of the river, it must be something in the cornfLakes. as i come of of the tube waiting for miLLichimp, a yardie gang with a massive and new shoveL with the b+q sticker on it start chasing a young capped bLack boy in and arround the tube for 10 minutes, but the bLoke was so stoned he was doing totaLLy rubbish prods + the kid jogged off.
so we waLk up the hiLL. and its a big fucking 20 minute hiLL i have no intention of waLking up again. thankfuLLy a band caLLed red warm us aLL up. now, a band who sing Like beverLy knight+ rock Like stiLtskin arent usuaLLy my cup of cock, but these girLs Look exactLy Like the pop r+b 90's group the honeyz in bLack Leather! i even found their def Leopard cover rather heart warming, and i am reaLLy not sure why. or perhaps i am. i guess you had to be there.
unit were on next. they are pretty difficuLt to describe to be honest. the best i couLd come up with was jammed out - geeky - space rock - indie version of xtc. their songs were aLL different so if u Like in theory u couLd hang arround and there wiLL be one you Like, but the songs aLL seemed to Last 5 minutes so a Lot of peopLe got bored. i think if they get some songs with some reaL hooks they couLd go somewhere cos they are quite different, a bit Like misty's big adventure without the brass. or that crazy oLd american bastard who got on stage with them at truck ferstivaL + sang about sitting on sandwiches. he Looks Like my neighbour who i never speak to. moody bastard. dont know what he sat on.
fuzz vaLentine are Last and i think they suffer from the gig being in the middLe of nowhere + of having a crowd of predominatLy cLose friends. i think i am a curse on them, whenever i go they seem to have fewer peopLe. but regardLess they pLay in the onLy way they know how, which is quite directLy and energeticLy, one of their tracks wiLL be on the brainLove compilation thing so i guess u wiLL aLL hear it then.
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after that nite i swore i wouLdnt go south of the river for a whiLe. this Lasted tiLL thursday the 10th. i went to see harry's new band at the windmiLL. they are caLLed the dope shit trio. aLthough they may have dropped the shit out of their name, im not sure. waLking back up brixton hiLL, harry assures me the music is easy Listening. no it isnt. it sounds exactLy Like every other band he has been in for the Last decade. if you havent seen harry pLay, get an accoustic guitar and pLays Loads of funky hendrix chords Like this...
 and start rapping and going "arrrrrLLLLLriiiiiiighhhht!" a Lot in an excitied manner. harry is joined by a doubLe bass pLayer caLLed ed, and a drummer who was maybe caLLed andy - i forget, but they were aLL very competent + funky + tight. if i had to invent a genre for them i wouLd caLL it chip hop. not that chip hop describes them very weLL, its more Like funky breaks, but in a band with white peopLe rapping+ pLaying instruments. i'm suprised goLdie Looking chains havent described themseLves as chip hop, maybe they have, i dont reaLLy care. the other bands were Like curiosity kiLLed the cat, or the not so brand new heavies as my new freind cLaimed. so i Left.
sleazy tiger
next day [the 11th maths fans] i met you jon. unLess your name's aLso jon and i didnt meet you. but seriousLy, does anybody eLse read this? if you do, heLLo jon! anyway, the purpose was to see the open mouths [formerLy ass to mouth] pLay at their new cLub making its debut at on the rocks caLLed sLeazy tiger. i'm sure jon has written about these before and maybe this same gig too, the onLy reason im mentioning it is he thought they were better at truck festivaL, when i thought they were better tonite. it was more packed than the sonic mook nites. in fact they were so good i fainted with aLL the excitement + this had nothing to do with what i had drunk before hand, or the medication i am on, or jon's fruity saLad i had a nibbLe of.
next morning i had rewarding sex foLLwed by a breakfast sandwich as the reward. Later in the day we headed to the drowned in sound/notting hiLL arts cLub thing in the afternoon. it was free so that was good, and they didnt seem to mind us sitting down going "myurrghmm" aLL the time recovering from Last nite. there was onLy one band that were any good, they were caLLed komonechi. i hope i speLLed that right. don't know what it means, perhaps it means fit cockney japanese girL singing with a decent rock + roLL band. i couLdn't reaLLy see, so if that girL wasn't singing - ooops.... but apart from the penuLtimate two songs, they sounded reaLLy good. Like a not trying mcLusky. journaLism at it's best.
you know i had this reaLLy big poLiticaL rant ready for you guys about how hypocrisy was the gLue that heLd society together, but i couLdnt be arsed. gonna see dizzee rascaL tomorow. i have no idea what i am going to wear. stiLL, i onLy have two pairs of trousers Left that havent irretrivabLy faLLen apart, so i guess, just Like my pesronaLity, im aLLright from waist down.
what a rascaL...
jesus... the dizzee rascaL gig was the most bizare and surreaL thing i have ever been to. first its at the posh room on the south bank compLex, so everyone's sitting down Like going to the panto. the support band are aLso attrocious. its Like the fucking worst bLoody worLd music rubbish u get on jooL's hoLLand onLy more boring. if this is what the worLd has to offer, i fuLLy support american imperiaList aims in destroying it and buiLding a mcdonaLds on top. yeah, did i mention it was Like going to a pantomine? the crowd is an ecLectic bLend of bLaggy chav's, 10 year oLds trying to hit on the girL next to me, and their parrents. i have no idea what the rascaL made of it. i think he wouLd been pissing himseLf inside, but aLso enjoying the money made from the £20 ticket saLes. i dont know, he is a reaL taLent, a great rythmic and speedy poet on a red buLL and skunk high & having a Laugh. he's aLso a pop star, and aLL the siLLiness that comes with it has come with it. where he goes from here is anybody's guess, but i'm predicting more and more of the same.
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i was very gLad to hear that nathan barLey was offered a coLumn in the Last show of the "taLked about" channeL 4 series. weLL, in fact he was offered two - it was decided he shouLd write one good coLumn and one bad coLumn to be printed side by side, + then the reader had to find out which was which. by reading them both. some peopLe get quite upset about nathan barLey. one reason is that the fictionaL characters and pLaces are actuaLLy based on reaL peopLe and sometimes fiLmed in the exact Locations they are trying to rip the piss out of [Like the hoxton boutique, renamed "bhumfhuck" in the show]. the other reason peopLe get upset is that the idiots, such as nathan, often win over the sensibLe + "horrfied at the idiots surrounding them" characters. critics reaLLy arent sure what chris morris's motives are by aLLowing this to happen. however, what these critics faiL to notice is that this is meant to be funny. and horrified peopLe trying to make serious documentaries about the homeLess arent funny. if they're doing their job right. anyway... on a Leaving note, i wouLd just Like it known i don't reaLLy have a probLem with nathan barLey, i onLy wish the east-end was exciting as in the show.
thank you.
i am iLL + very unweLL, so send me sympathy
fideL@formuLabone.com
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