Lets play some more:

Signs You're Not Going To Win A Gold Medal
Signs You're Not Going To Get A Perfect Six

SIGNS YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN A GOLD MEDAL

You're the only speed skater sponsored by Prozac.

You break both ankles while lacing up your skates.

While others "Go for the Gold" you go for the free buffet.

You've got as much chance of passing the drug test as Robert Downey Jr.

Triple Lutz? No. Triple bypass? Yes!

Your bobsled is crammed with carry-on luggage.

McDonald's manager says, "Sorry, Ms. Harding, you can't have the week off."

Before your event you stay at a Karaoke bar till four am singing "Afternoon Delight."

There's no Olympic event for ski-jumping dogs.

Your ice-dancing partner is inflatable.

SIGNS YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET A PERFECT SIX

You lutz yourself over the boards and into a hot dog vendor.

Your coach keeps screaming, "Let go of the railing!"

The only thing that's 6.0 about you is your blood alcohol level.

During a spin, your skate flies off and imbeds itself in the Russian judge's head.

You perform you long program to the theme from "The Dukes of Hazzard."

Your costume looks an awful lot like your Denny's uniform.

You cut your routine short because you have to return your rental skates.

Every time you skate past the judges, you give them the finger.

You put the "cow" in "salchow."