Part One Q: What do you call an Essex girl with half a brain ? A: Gifted! A: Alone. A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. A: (Action of scissoring legs apart) A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables! A: She'd just dyed her hair. A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around
too much. A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads. A: You can park in the handicap zone. A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back. A: Shine a flashlight in their ear. A: It takes too long to retrain them. A: There's Tipp-Ex on the screen. A: You only have to punch information into a computer once. A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down
on you. A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get East Enders.... A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno! A: Put spikes in her shoulder pads. A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little
packages. A: All you can eat, under a fiver. A: Because they can't get their head in the jar. A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles. A: Her ankles. A: Because red means stop. A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole." A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers. A: They chip their teeth. A: They make good ankle warmers. A: Remove their underwear. A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!" A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!" A: "All the Essex girls have gone home!" A: "Next!" A: Because they can spell it. A: 69 plus VAT. A: Toes go in first. A: Tits go in front.Essex Girls
Q: How do Essex girl braincells die ?
Q: How do you brainwash an Essex girl ?
Q: How does an Essex girl part her hair ?
Q: Why do Essex girls wash their hair in the kitchen sink ?
Q: Why didn't the Essex girl want a window seat on the plane ?
Q: Why didn't the Essex girl want a window seat on the plane ?
Q: Why do Essex girls wear their hair up ?
Q: Why is it good to have an Essex girl passenger ?
Q: Why is an Essex girl like a turtle ?
Q: How do you make an Essex girl's eyes light up ?
Q: Why should Essex girls not be given coffee breaks ?
Q: How can you tell if an Essex girl's been using the computer ?
Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and a computer ?
Q: What do an Essex girl and your computer have in common ?
Q: What did the Essex girl think of the new computer?
Q: Why do Essex girls wear shoulder pads?
Q: How do you kill an Essex girl?
Q: How do Essex girls pierce their ears?
Q: Why don't Essex girls eat Jelly?
Q: What do you call an Essex girl with a fiver on the top her head?
Q: Why don't Essex girls eat pickles?
Q: Why do Essex girls wear hoop earings?
Q: What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to make her more
attractive?
Q: Why do Essex girls wear green lipstick?
Q: Why do Essex girls wear red lipstick?
Q: How can you tell if an Essex girl has been in your refrigerator?
Q: Why don't Essex girls use vibrators?
Q: Why do Essex girls wear underwear?
Q: What do Essex girls do for foreplay?
Q: What's the mating call of the Essex girl?
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly Essex girl?
Q: What's the mating call of the London girl?
Q: What's the mating call of the Geordie girl?
Q: Why do Essex girls like VAT?
Q: What is 83 to an Essex girl?
Q: Why do Essex girls have TGIF on their shoes?
Q: Why do Essex girls have TGIF on their shirts?
Up Part Two Men Jokes Back To School Dark Sucker Sports Travel Potpourri Women