Lets get on with more of the business: Technical Support Tales TECHNICAL SUPPORT TALES Customer: "I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." Tech: "Foot pedal?" Customer: "Yes, this little white foot pedal with the on switch."
- The foot pedal turned out to be the mouse. * Some people complain that the mouse should be made transparent so they
can see all of the screen when they use it. * Many people have called to ask where the "any" key is on
their keyboards when the "Press Any Key" message is displayed.
* One customer complained that her mouse was hard to control with the
dust cover on it. - The dust cover turned out to be the plastic bag in which the mouse was
packaged. * One customer held the mouse in the air and pointed it at the screen,
all the while clicking madly. * A customer was having diskette problems. After trouble shooting for a
while (magnets, heat, etc.), tech asked the customer what else was being
done with the diskette. Response: "I put a label on the diskette, roll it into the
typewriter..." * A user came into a service bureau with a file on a 5.25 inch disk. The
proprietor apologized and explained that the user would have to get the
job transferred to a 3.5 inch disk first. The user asked, "Couldn't
we just get a scissors and trim it?" * A customer complied with a tech's request to send in a copy of a
defective diskette. A few days later, the tech received a letter from the
customer along with a Xerox copy of the floppy. * A tech advised a customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive
and close the door. The customer put his phone down and was heard walking
across the room and shutting the door to the room. * A customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.
After 40 minutes, the tech discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of
paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send"
key. * A customer was perplexed by an error that would appear every time he
tried to print. The computer would say, "Looking for LaserWriter"
and after a while, "Can't find LaserWriter." His solution? He
turned the Mac so that the screen faced the printer. * A customer needed help setting up an application. The tech referred
him to the local Egghead. Customer: "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends." When told that Egghead was a software store, the man replied, "Oh!
I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks." * A customer called complaining that his keyboard no longer worked. The
customer had cleaned his keyboard by submerging it for a day in warm soapy
water in his bathtub. * A tech once calmed a man who was enraged because "his computer
had told him he was bad and an invalid." The tech patiently explained
that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"
responses shouldn't be taken personally. * A new technician was sent into the field to install a new video card.
About the time they began to wonder if something was wrong, the technician
called in. "I have the monitor apart, I just can't figure out where
to install the video card." WEIRD REFERENCE QUESTIONS Actual reference queries reported by American and Canadian library
reference desk workers of various levels. All of these situations are real
and some of them were mighty embarrassing. Enjoy! "Do you have books here?" "Do you have a list of all the books written in the English
language?" "Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?" "I'm looking for Robert James Waller's book, Waltzing through Grand
Rapids." (Actual title wanted: "Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend.")
"Do you have that book by Rushdie: 'Satanic Nurses'?" (Actual
title: "Satanic Verses") "Where is the reference desk?" This was asked of a person
sitting at a desk who had hanging above her head a sign saying "REFERENCE
DESK"! "I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost
$39.95. Do you know which one it is?" "Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?"
"Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought
on National Park Sites?" "Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?" "I need a color photograph of George Washington [Christopher
Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, etc.]" "I need a photocopy of Booker T. Washington's birth certificate."
"I need to find out Ibid's first name for my bibliography."
"Why don't you have any books by Ibid? He's written a lot of
important stuff." "I'm looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I'm
having trouble with it in my neck." "Is the basement upstairs?" (Asked at First Floor Reference
Desk) "I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send
me back to jail for a couple of months."
Weird
Reference Questions