Lets get on with more Men:

Why Coffee is better than men
Facts About Men
Things You Will Never Hear A Man Say

WHY COFFEE IS BETTER THAN MEN

You don't have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste good.

Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream in it.

A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.

You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.

You can always warm coffee up.

Coffee comes with endless refills.

Coffee is cheaper.

You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at 3am.

Coffee never runs out.

Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.

You can take black coffee home to meet your parents.

You can make coffee as sweet as you want.

You can smoke while drinking coffee.

You can put out a cigarette in a cup of coffee.

Coffee smells and tastes good.

You don't have to put vinegar in your coffee.

If your coffee pot leaks, you can use a regular paper towel.

You can always get fresh coffee.

You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it'll be hot when you get back.

They sell coffee at police stations.

You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.

Coffee goes down easier.

If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on weight.

No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.

A big cup or small cup? It doesn't matter.

Your coffee doesn't talk to you.

Coffee smells good in the morning.

Coffee is good when it's cold too.

Coffee stains are easier to remove.

Coffee doesn't care when you dunk things in it.

Coffee doesn't care what kind of mood you're in.

Coffee doesn't shed.

Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.

You can't get a cup of coffee pregnant by putting cream in it.

Coffee doesn't mind being ground.

No matter how bad coffee is, you can always make it better.

Coffee doesn't have a time of the month... it's good all the time.

When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.

When you have a coffee, you don't end up with a pube in the back of your throat.

Coffee doesn't take up half your bed.

Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at 3am and decide to have a cup.

You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee.

INSTANT COFFEE!

It can take up to 2 weeks for coffee to grow mould.

Your coffee won't be jealous of a larger cup.

FACTS ABOUT MEN

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwartzkopf.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."

Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. With male menopause you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

Men forget everything; women remember everything.

That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

THINGS YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A MAN SAY

Here honey, you use the remote.

You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.

Ooh, Antonio Banderas 'and' Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!

While I'm up, can I get you a beer?

Honey since we don't have anything else planned, will you go to the wallpaper store with me?

Sex isn't that important; sometimes, I just like to be held.

Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes?

Aww, forget Monday night football, let's watch East Enders.

Hey let me hold your purse while you try that on.

We never talk anymore.