Lets get on with more Men:
MANSPEAK
| Manspeak | English |
|---|---|
| It's just orange juice, try it | 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head |
| She's kind of cute | I want to bang her till I am blue |
| I don't know if I like her | She won't blow me |
| I need you | My hand is tired |
| I had her | I had (wet dreams about) her all week |
| I really want to get to know you better | ...so I can tell my friends about it |
| How do I compare with all you other boyfriends? | Is my penis really that small? |
| You're the only girl I've ever cared about | You are the only girl who has not rejected me |
| I want you back | ...for tonight anyway |
| We've been through so much together | If it was not for you, I never would have lost my virginity |
| I miss you so much | I am so horny that my roommate is starting to look good |
| No, I don't want to dance right now | Shoot! She'll know that I have a hard-on |
| The break-up should not start for another 24 hours | I want to have sex a few more times |
| I am different from all the other guys | I am not circumcised |
| Of course you're not fat | who cares, just open your legs |
| Actually I prefer older women | Actually I prefer anything that will fuck me |
| yes, that dress looks nice | It would be better if you just took it off and fucked me now |
| wow, you were hot tonight... | you are as loose as a bucket of jelly |
| that was great, yawn... | OK, you're fucked, now just shut your face and go to sleep |
| Don't worry about your weight, you look fine to me | to meDon't talk, just keep sucking you fat cow |
I'M GLAD I'M A MAN
Everyday I give thanks to God
I was born a man instead of a broad
When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV
I don't shave my legs, I stand up
to pee
I go to a barber, not a beauty salon
Don't pluck out my
eyebrows just to draw them back on
Don't wax my pubes so I can wear shorts
I use my turn signal, I understand sports
Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't go through a faze every 28 days
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons
Don't take a lot of friends when I go the the john
I don't throw a fit
when I break a nail
I don't buy a lot of shoes just because they're on
sale
I don't apply makeup in my rear-view mirror
I don't think of
Bambi when I'm out hunting deer
I drink beer from a bottle, not from a
glass
I don't ask my friends about the size of my ass
Man, I'm glad
I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't face the pain of
water-weight gain
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
Let me tell you ladies
Listen to me ladies
I love those things inside of your blouse
I
love your pretty faces
Your warm and soft embraces
But if I had my
own two boobs, I'd never leave the house
I don't spend two hours getting
ready for a date
I don't play with dolls unless they inflate
When
someone asks me my age, I never lie
After sex in bed, my spot's always dry
I don't read about orgasms in Vogue magazines
I don't mind if my dates
try to get in my jeans
I don't spend a fortune on French lingerie
This is the same underwear I wore yesterday
Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the reason I am
I don't take a pill, I don't use Massengill
Man, I'm glad I'm a man
Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
Tell you the
reason I am
I find Michael Bolton completely revoltin'
Man, I'm glad
I'm a man
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