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Why It Is Great To Be A Man
Macho Men

WHY IT IS GREAT TO BE A MAN

Your last name stays put.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

Your orgasms are real. Always.

The garage is all yours.

Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

Foreplay is optional.

You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

Wedding Dress £1000; Tux rental £50.

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

The occasional well rendered belch is practically expected.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

Princess Di's death was just another obituary.

One mood, all the time.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

MACHO MEN

Some men will got to extraordinary lengths to prove how macho they are. Witness Frenchman Pierre Pumpille, of Lyon, who recently shunted a stationary car two feet by headbutting it. "Women thought I was a god," he explained from his hospital bed.

Deity or not, however, Pumpille is a veritable girl's blouse compared to Polish farmer Krystof Azninski, who staked a strong claim to being Europe's most macho man by cutting off his own head. Azninski, 30, had been drinking with friends when it was suggested they strip naked and play some "men's games".

Initially they hit each other over the head with frozen icicles, but then one man seized a chainsaw and cut off the end of his foot. Not to be outdone, Azninski grabbed the saw and crying "Watch this then!" swung at his own head and chopped it off.

"It's funny," said one companion, "Cos when he was young he put on his sister's underwear. But he died like a man."

Reuters - London