Lets get on with more Men:

How Dogs Are Better Than Men
How Dogs And Men Are The Same
Some Observations About Men

HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

Dogs do not have trouble expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when you're gone.

You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.

Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.

Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.

Dogs don't criticize your friends.

Dogs admit when they're jealous.

Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

Dogs do not play games with you - except fetch (and they'll never laugh at how you throw)

Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.

Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

Dogs are good with kids.

Dogs are easy to buy for.

Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.

You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.

Gorgeous dogs don't know they are gorgeous.

The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gave it to you.)

Dogs understand what "No " means.

Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.

Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.

Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.

Dogs do not read at the table.

Dogs think you are a culinary genius.

You can house-train a dog.

You can force a dog to take a bath.

Dogs don't correct your stories.

Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.

Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.

Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.

Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.

Dogs admit it when they are lost.

Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.

Dogs look at your eyes.

Dogs like your size.

Dogs do not care whther you shave your legs.

Dogs take care of their own needs.

Dogs are colour blind.

Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

Dogs are nice to your relatives.

Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.

HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME

Both take up too much space on the bed.

Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

Both are threatened by their own kind.

Both like to chew wood.

Both mark their territory.

Both are bad at asking you questions.

Neither tells you what's bothering them.

Both tend to smell riper with age.

The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

Neither does any dishes.

Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

Both like dominance games.

Both are suspicious of the postman.

Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.

Neither understands what you see in cats.

SOME OBSERVATIONS ABOUT MEN

What's the world's thinnest book in the world?

- What men know about women.

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

- One...Men will screw anything.

What is a man's idea of foreplay?

- A half hour of begging.

How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?

- He's breathing.

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

- Bonds mature.

How do you save a man from drowning?

- Take your foot off his head.

What do men and beer bottles have in common?

- They are both empty from the neck up.

How can you tell if a man is happy?

- Who cares?

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

- We don't know -- it's never been done before.

How are men and parking places alike?

- The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.

What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?

- Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?

- E.T. phoned home.

What does a man consider a seven course dinner?

- A hot dog and a six pack of beer.