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Examination Answers
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EXAMINATION ANSWERS

Kids say the strangest things. Some school teachers must agree with that, because they keep journals of amusing things their students have written in papers. Here are a few examples:

• The future of "I give" is "I take."
• The parts of speech are lungs and air.
• The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
• A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
• A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.
• The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
• A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.
• Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
• The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.
• The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
• We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.
• One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
• A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.
• One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
• To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.
• The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
• The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
• Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.
• The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
• Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
• The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
• In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
• Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
• In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.
• A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.
• A momentum is what you give a person when they are leaving.
• Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.
• A Protestant is a woman who gets her living through immoral life.
• Our Father, which art in heaven, Harold be thy name.
• Celibacy is a crime a priest commits when he marries.
• A census take is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
• Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was born in Portland, USA while his parents were travelling on the Continent. He made many fast friends, among the fastest were Alice and Phoebe Cary.
• Acrimony, sometimes called holy, is another name for marriage.
• The Mediterranean and the Red Sea are connected by the sewage canal.
• Climate lasts all the time, but weather only for a few days.
• Chivalry is the attitude of a man towards a strange woman.
• Appendicitis is caused by information in the appendix.
• In 1570 Queen Elizabeth of England had an indisposition from the Pope.
• A monologue is a conversation between two people, such as husband and wife.
• Vesuvius is a volcano and if you will climb up to the top you will see the creator smoking.
• Science is material, Religion is immaterial.
• Some people are wise, and some are otherwise.
• A species is when two things are completely different, for example, the French are one species and the Germans are another.
• The people of industrial towns such as Birmingham could all share the same cramped squalid room.
• If you cross XY and XX chromosones, you get XX(female), YY(male) and XY(undecided).
• Cows produce large amounts of methane, so the problem could be solved by fitting them with catalytic converters.
• The cerebral hemispheres are where you would find your morals.
• Most of atomic physics has got something to do with atoms.

MORE EXAMINATION ANSWERS

• In the Middle Ages Europe was swept by the Blue Bonnet plague.
• Comments on Life Reeked With Joy Renaissance merchants were beautiful and almost lifelike.
• I loved her so much that I put her on a pedal stool.
• When I grow up I want to be a whorse trainer.
• She left him because he took her for granite.
• When you have finished the final step, Walla! you're ready to bake your cake.
• Theologically, Luther was into reorientation mutation.
• Monks went right on seeing themselves as worms.
• The last Jesuit priest died in the 19th century.
• Industrialization was precipitating in England.
• Voting was to be done by ballad.
• Napoleon III-IV mounted the French thrown.
• Here too was the new German: loud, bold, vulgar and full of reality.
• Music reeked with reality.
• Wagner was master of music.
• Germany was on one side of France and Russia was on the other Germany was displaced after WWI.
• Germany was morbidly overexcited and unbalanced.
• A huge anti-semantic movement arose.
• Attractive slogans like "death to all Jews" a squirmish between Germany and France.