Lets go on our travels:

Reasons For Being French
Reasons For Being American
Reasons For Being English
Reasons For Being Italian
Reasons For Being Spanish

REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH

When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay

Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time

You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries

You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs

You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4

If there's a war you can surrender really early

You can be ugly and still become a famous film star

Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride

You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street

People think you're a great lover even when you're not

REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN

You can have a woman president without electing her

You can spell color wrong and get away with it

You can be a crook and still be president

If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything

You can call Budweiser beer

You can invent a new public holiday every year

If you can breathe you can get a gun

You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.

You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"

You can think you're the greatest nation on earth, when you're not, at all.

REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH

Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah

Warm beer

You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events

You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket

Union jack underpants

Water shortages guaranteed every single summer

You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

Changing underwear once a week, whether you need to or not

Bathing once a week, whether you need to or not

Beats being Welsh

REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN

In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes

Unembarrassed to wear fur

No need to worry about tax returns

Flexible working hours

Political stability

Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.

Can wear sunglasses inside

Live near the Pope

Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair

Country run by Sicilian murderers

REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH

Glorious history of killing South American tribes

The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees

You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc

The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans

Honesty

Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls

Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing

Gibraltar

Supported Argentina in Falklands War

You get to eat bulls testicles