Lets get on with more Women:

Reasons Why Your Glad To Be A Woman

REASONS WHY YOUR GLAD TO BE A WOMAN

You can wear women's under-wear without being arrested.

You can be sexually aroused in public without being arrested.

You can correctly estimate the dimensions of male genitalia.

You can fake orgasm convincingly.

You can understand the mechanism of a bra strap.

You can be moody and antisocial on a regular monthly basis, without having to provide any rational explanation.

You can cry during Sleepless in Seattle and not have to blame it on hay fever or cat allergy.

You can detect, by scent, when underwear needs changing.

You can be not interested in football without being thought homosexual.

You can become number one British women's tennis player simply by hitting a tennis ball once - without it being out.

You can use public toilets at the same time as other members of the same sex without being thought homosexual.

You can observe a Barbecue without urges to intervene.

You can remain silent whilst in a car with a woman driver.

You can blame being overlooked for promotion on "bloody male chauvinists" and the "old boy network".

You can occupy a bathroom for over fifteen minutes without the aid of pornographic literature.

You stand a better chance of selection as a New Labour MP

You can watch canine castration on Vets in Practice without wincing.

You can go into the lingerie department of Debenhams without the air of a fugitive.

You can appreciate why scarlet crotchless leather panties are not, in fact, practical work-wear for the female executive.

You will never have to master the art of tying a bow tie.

You can avoid carrying heavy items of furniture when moving house.

You understand why a two-way dry-weave topsheet is necessary.

You can happily spend an entire afternoon in The Body Shop.

Two words - colour co-ordination.

You can wear a ponytail and not look like a total prat.

You can see that you have got cellulite. It's obvious. Look.

When you reach the age of sixty, your breasts can double as handy fly-swatters.

You can communicate with women by telephone.

You can use pregnancy as an excuse for weight gain.

You can use "hormones" as an excuse for weight gain.

You can use "refusal to be influenced by anorexic models in Vogue" as an excuse for weight gain.

You can use "forty seven per cent of women are a size sixteen or over it’s a fact" as an ,excuse for weight gain.

You don't have to worry about being "a nine-stone weakling".

The words "falling sperm count" do not send shivers down your back.

You can urinate without leaving a small reservoir on the bathroom floor.

You can read the instruction leaflet before assembling flat- packed furniture or operating electrical appliances.

You can carry a handbag.

You will never be required to make an amusing best man speech at a wedding.

You don't have to worry that you might not be the real parent of your children.

You can expose your legs in hot weather and not look silly.

You can borrow your partner's clothes and not look perverted.

You can ask a complete stranger for directions.

You can book a "massage" without embarrassment.

You can run "like a girl".

You are less likely to give your private parts a pet name.

You never need be wary of scoutmasters with a glint in their eye.

You can appreciate why double E-cup bosoms might sometimes be a disadvantage.

Women won't keep on buying you horrible ties and Old Spice for Christmas.

You can drink spritzers in Pubs.

You can bear to own a car stereo that doesn’t have quite as many knobs as your next door neighbour’s

During sex, you are unlikely to worry about climaxing too quickly.

You realise that "ready in five minutes" actually means three-and-a-half hours.

You can keep your legs together when sitting opposite other people on public transport.

Your partner will be pleased if you come home with lipstick on your face.

You can resist the compulsion to scratch your privates in public and photocopy your arse at Christmas parties.

You can look at page three of The Sun without remarking loudly on the fact that you're really only reading the political story on page two.

When you reach your sexual peak, you're old enough to appreciate it.

You will never invite acquaintances to "smell my finger".

You can watch a woman removing an umbrella cover without making lewd comments.

You can watch a woman peeling a banana without making lewd comments.

You can watch a woman unwrapping a Cadbury's Flake without making lewd comments.

You can understand the grave severity of having a "bad hair day".

You can put a duvet cover on a duvet without asphyxiating yourself.

You can obtain nutritional sustenance without the aid of a microwave, a tin opener, or the telephone number of your local branch of Pizza Hut.

You can confess to having been dumped.

You can leave the plumbing to the plumber.

You can own a Renault Clio.

People will not automatically expect you to know how to play the guitar.

You are born with an instinctive knowledge of how many calories there are in any given foodstuff.

You can change a nappy in less than an hour.

Breasts are an attractive feature on a woman.

You can pack sensibly for holidays.

You will never wear jeans exposing your buttock cleavage, unless they happen to be fleetingly fashionable.

You can admit to being wrong about something, even something as important as the Offside Rule.

You can recall anniversaries other than Stoke City's first FA Cup win.

Your status in society will never be dependent on how high you can piss.

You will never believe that a doner kebab is the ideal Epicurean accompaniment for fifteen pints of Special Brew.

Wearing a wig can be a fashion statement, not just a last resort.

Violent men are thuggish. Violent women are "feisty".

If you claim to admire the Spice Girls because of their politics, some people will actually believe you.

You know the meaning of words like "exfoliation" and "integrity".

Men sweat. Women "glow".

You can appreciate that a woman who has just spent fifty per cent of her salary in Whistles can still have "nothing to wear tonight".

You will never feel your masculinity threatened by large root vegetables or pepper pots.

You can justifiably pass out during childbirth.

Your ability to concentrate is not inversely proportional to the bust size of adjacent females.

You have, statistically, more chance of finding a partner through newspaper contact ads.

You don't have to take magazines like GQ seriously.

And finally - you just CAN, OK? Because you CAN. And if men don't understand that, then tough titty.