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Women Seeking Men
Ways To Welcome A Man Home

WOMEN SEEKING MEN


What did it say in the personal column?

In Print Actuality
40 ish 49
Adventurer Has had more partners than you ever will
Affectionate Possessive
Artist Unreliable
Athletic Flat chested
Average looking Ugly
Beautiful Pathological liar
Commitment minded Pick out curtains, now!
Communication important Just try to get a word in edgewise
Contagious Smile Bring your pills
Educated College dropout
Emotionally Secure Medicated
Employed Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home
Enjoys art and opera Snob
Enjoys Nature Bring your own granola
Exotic Beauty Would frighten a Martian
Feminist Fat; ball buster
Financially Secure One paycheck from the street
Free spirit Substance user
Friendship first Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun Annoying
Gentle Comatose
Good Listener Borderline Autistic
Humorous Caustic
Intuitive Your opinion doesn't count
In Transition Needs new sugar-daddy to pay the bills
Light drinker Lush
Looks younger If viewed from far away in bad light
Loves Travel If you're paying
Loves Animals Cat lady
Mature Will not let you treat her like a farm animal in bed, like last boyfriend did
New Age All body hair, all the time
Non traditional Ex-husband lives in the basement
Old fashioned Lights out, missionary position only
Open minded Desperate
Outgoing Loud
Passionate Loud
Petite Wouldn't stand out in a pack of Munchkins
Poet Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional Bitch
Redhead Shops at the Revlon counter
Reliable Frumpy
Reubenesque Grossly Fat
Romantic Looks better by candle light
Self-employed Jobless
Smart Insipid
Special Rode the schoolbus
Spiritual Involved with a cult
Stable Boring
Tall, thin Anorexic
Tan Wrinkled
Voluptuous Very Fat
Weight proportional to height Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate One step away from stalking
Widow Nagged first husband to death
Writer Pompous
Young at heart Toothless crone


WAYS TO WELCOME A MAN HOME


This is an excerpt from a home economics textbook published in the early 50's.

Did we really think this way?

THE FASCINATING WOMANHOOD WAY TO WELCOME A MAN WHEN HE COMES HOME FROM WORK

Get your work done: Plan your tasks with an eye on the clock. Finish or interrupt them an hour before he is expected. Your anguished cry, "Are you home already?" is not exactly a warm welcome.

Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself: Take fifteen minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. This will also make you happy to see him, instead of too tired to care. Turn off the worry and be glad to be alive and grateful for the man who is about to walk in. While you are resting you can be thinking about your F.W. assignment and all you can do to make him happy to give his spirits a lift. When you arise, take care of your appearance. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. in a bucket or wastebasket and put them in the back bedroom for sorting later. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband must feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. Having the house in order is another way of letting him know that you care and have planned for his homecoming.

Prepare the children: Take just a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and if necessary change their clothes. They are his little treasures and he would like to see them look the part.

Minimize all noise: Especially give heed to this if your husband has to join rush hour traffic. At the time of his arrival, eliminate noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet at the time of their father's arrival. Let them be a little noisy beforehand, to get it out of their system.

Be happy to see him: Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see him. Tell him that it is good to have him home. This may make his day worthwhile. If there is any romance left in you, he needs it now.

Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Solve the problems you can before he gets home and save those you must discuss with him until later in the evening. Also, don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as a minor problem when compared to what he may have gone through that day. Don't allow the children to rush at him with problems or requests. Allow them to briefly greet their father, but save demands for later.

Be nice to him: Put him into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes. Don't insist on this however. Turn on music if it is one of his pleasures. Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax, to unwind.

Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, then he will be a more responsive listener later.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax. If he is cross or irritable, never fight back. Again, try to understand his world of strain.

The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Then add to this the application of all the principles of 'Fascinating Womanhood' and your husband WILL WANT TO COME HOME. He will rather be with you than with anyone else in the world and will spend whatever time he can possibly spare with you. Try living all of these rules for his homecoming and see what happens. THIS is the way to bring a man home to your side, NOT by pressure, persuasion or moral obligation.



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