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Rules To Be A Female
Reasons Women Date Jerks Instead of Nice Guys


RULES TO BE A FEMALE


Go to the loo with your mates

Expect the man to buy the condoms

Expose every weakness displayed by a man at any opportunity

Complain

Shop

When your man has to go away for a course or business, whinge like crazy that you are being left alone

Complain

Steal your fella's best shirt and stain it with make-up

Take an hour to get ready

Blame PMT

Regularly change the name of PMT

Interest in sex is proportionate to your age

When your sexual interest is at its peak try to find a man of more mature years to satisfy you

Blame "the change"

Squeeze the toothpaste from the wrong end

Put a circle of carpet on the loo seat cover so it falls down after 10-15 seconds

Moan about men making a mess in your loo

Complain

Collect cuddly toys

Leave soiled knickers on the bathroom floor

Shop

Tell your girlfriends your intimate sexual secrets

Especially if you haven't told your boyfriend

Complain

Hate women with bigger chests than you

Hate women who are thinner than you

Hate women who talk to your man

Hate women who look like they might talk to your man

Hate women who once went out with your man

Hate tarty looking women

Hate frumpy looking women

Hate women who wear more expensive clothes than you

Hate women who wear cheaper clothes than you

Hate women wearing the same clothes as you

Complain

Giggle with the girls

Never laugh with a man, only at a man

Drive badly

Drive men up the wall

Drive other women mad

Drive to the shops

Shop some more

Eat too much chocolate

Diet

Diet some more

Complain

Talk on the phone

Leave your hair in the plug-hole

Shop

Whinge about drunk men

Pick up drunk men

Shop

Complain

Talk on the phone

Argue

Complain

Shop

Reason by being unreasonable

Be Unreasonable

Complain

Fill the golf GTI up with diesel

Never reverse into a parking space no matter how small, better to bump the front wheel over the kerb. (The higher the kerb the better)

Leave lotions and potions cluttered around the sink, so when ever anyone tries to wash their hands the "clutter" all falls in

Talk on the phone some more

Remember your in-laws birthdays

Whinge about shopping for the in-laws Christmas/birthday/anniversary presents


REASONS WOMEN DATE JERKS INSTEAD OF NICE GUYS


More fun to complain about them to your friends.

Guys who actually like you just aren't challenging or exciting.

When you do date nice guys, they turn into jerks anyway, so why not save time and go for the jerk in the first place?

You won't get as emotionally attached to a jerk, so you'll be more in control.

All the other women want them, so they must be worth having.

Affection means more when it comes from a guy who doesn't normally give it.

Guaranteed to cheat on you so someone else can endure his lack of lovemaking skills most of the time.

No need to feel guilty for abusing or deceiving them.

Jerks will actually tell you when they don't like what you're doing instead of getting mad about it six months later.

Looking for someone you can't trust, and won't care about too much, who will abuse you mentally and financially, but you don't know any lawyers.



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