• What did the blonde's right leg say the blonde's left leg?
  Nothing - they've never met.

• How can you tell if a blondes used a computer?
  The joystick would be wet.

• How do you kill a one-armed blonde hanging off the edge of a cliff?
  wave.

• There were three women stranded on an island, one redhead, one brunette and one blonde. They know that the shore is 20 miles away, and being quite fit, they decide to swim for it. The redhead swims out, but after a while she returned to the island saying "I swam for about three miles, but I got too tired, I had to swim back".
  So the brunette tries, swims out to sea only to return a few hours later. She told the others: "I managed about seven miles, before I got tired so I swam back".
  Then it was the blondes turn. She swam out to sea but she too returned back to the island, saying to the others:

  "I swam for about seventeen miles, but I got too tired so I swam back again"

• Whats a blonde's idea of safe sex?
  Locking the car door.

• What do you call a blonde in university?
  A cleaner.

• Why did the blonde put condoms in her ears?
  Because she thought she'd catch hearing aids.

• Why do blondes wear those huge hoop earings?
  So that they've got somewhere to put their legs during sex.

• Whats the difference between a blonde and a chicken?
  A chicken says "Cock-a-Doodle-Do", while a blonde says "Any-Cock'll-Do!"

• Whats the difference between a blonde and a car?
  You'd never lend your car to your mates.

• A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over. He walks up to the car and sees a good-looking blonde woman is driving, and he can smell alcohol on her breath.
  He says: "I'm going to have to give you a Breathalyzer test to determine whether or not you are under the influence of alcohol."
  So she blows into the Breathalyzer and he walks back to the police car. After a couple of minutes comes back and says "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones!"

  She replies "You mean it shows that, too?"

• In Las Vegas, a blonde goes into a casino, walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin.
  Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks.
  Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.

  The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "NO! Can't you see I'm winning?!"

• Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
  It's not bright, it's cheap, and spreads easy.

• Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
  To see what was on the other side.

• A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed their boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called in or came back to the office when she left early, so how was she to know? The next day, they all three left the office right after the boss left. The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting her dinner date. The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS. Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead decided they were leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was coming with them. "NO WAY," she exclaimed, "I almost got caught yesterday!"

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