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The Great
Sin.
From Mere
Christianity by C S Lewis
I now come to that part of Christian
morals where they differ most sharply from all other morals.
There is one vice of which no man in the world is free; which
every one in the world loathes when he sees it in someone else;
and of which hardly any people, except Christians, ever imagine
that they are guilty themselves. I have heard people admit that
they are bad-tempered, or that they cannot keep their heads about
girls or drink, or even that they are cowards. I do not think
I have ever heard anyone who was not a Christian accuse himself
of this vice. And at the same time I have very seldom met anyone,
who was not a Christian, who showed the slightest mercy to it
in others. There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular,
and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And
the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others.
The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit: and the virtue
opposite to it, in Christian morals, is called Humility. You
may remember, when I was talking about sexual morality, I warned
you that the centre of Christian morals did not lie there. Well,
now, we have come to the centre. According to Christian teachers,
the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger,
greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison:
it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads
to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind.
Does this seem to you exaggerated? If so, think it over. I pointed
out a moment ago that the more pride one had, the more one disliked
pride in others. In fact, if you want to find out how proud you
are the easiest way is to ask yourself, 'How much do I dislike
it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of
me, or shove their oar in, or patronise me, or show off?' The
point is that each person's pride is in competition with every
one else's pride. It is because I wanted to be the big noise
at the party that I am so annoyed at someone else being the big
noise. Two of a trade never agree. Now what you want to get clear
is that Pride is essentially competitive - is competitive by
its very nature - while the other vices are competitive only,
so to speak, by accident. Pride gets no pleasure out of having
something, only out of having more of it than the next man. We
say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking,
but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer,
or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally
rich, or clever, or good-looking there would be nothing to be
proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure
of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has
gone, pride has gone. That is why I say that Pride is essentially
competitive in a way the other vices are not. The sexual impulse
may drive two men into competition if they both want the same
girl. But that is only by accident; they might just as likely
have wanted two different girls. But a proud man will take your
girl from you, not because he wants her, but just to prove to
himself that he is a better man than you. Greed may drive men
into competition if there is not enough to go round; but the
proud man, even when he has got more than he can possibly want,
will try to get still more just to assert his power. Nearly all
those evils in the world which people put down to greed or selfishness
are really far more the result of Pride.
Take it with money. Greed will certainly make a man want money,
for the sake of a better house, better holidays, better things
to eat and drink. But only up to a point. What is it that makes
a man with 10,000 a year anxious to get 20,000 a
year? It is not the greed for more pleasure. 10,000 will
give all the luxuries that any man can really enjoy. It is Pride
- the wish to be richer than some other rich man, and (still
more) the wish for power. For, of course, power is what Pride
really enjoys: there is nothing makes a man feel so superior
to others as being able to move them about like toy soldiers.
What makes a pretty girl spread misery wherever she goes by collecting
admirers? Certainly not her sexual instinct: that kind of girl
is quite often sexually frigid. It is Pride. What is it that
makes a political leader or a whole nation go on and on, demanding
more and more? Pride again. Pride is competitive by its very
nature: that is why it goes on and on. If I am a proud man, then,
as long as there is one man in the whole world more powerful,
or richer, or cleverer than I, he is my rival and my enemy.
The Christians are right: it is Pride which has been the chief
cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world
began. Other vices may sometimes bring people together: you may
find good fellowship and jokes and friendliness among drunken
people or unchaste people. But pride always means enmity - it
is enmity. And not only enmity between man and man, but enmity
to God.
In God you come up against something which is in every respect
immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that
- and, therefore, know yourself as nothing in comparison - you
do not know God at all. As long as you are proud you cannot know
God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people:
and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see
something that is above you.
That raises a terrible question. How is it that people who are
quite obviously eaten up with Pride can say they believe in God
and appear to themselves very religious? I am afraid it means
they are worshipping an imaginary God. They theoretically admit
themselves to be nothing in the presence of this phantom God,
but are really all the time imagining how He approves of them
and thinks them far better than ordinary people: that is, they
pay a pennyworth of imaginary humility to Him and get out of
it a pound's worth of Pride towards their fellow-men. I suppose
it was of those people Christ was thinking when He said that
some would preach about Him and cast out devils in His name,
only to be told at the end of the world that He had never known
them. And any of us may at any moment be in this death-trap.
Luckily, we have a test. Whenever we find that our religious
life is making us feel that we are good - above all, that we
are better than someone else - I think we may be sure that we
are being acted on, not by God, but by the devil. The real test
of being in the presence of God is, that you either forget about
yourself altogether or see yourself as a small, dirty object.
It is better to forget about yourself altogether.
It is a terrible thing that the worst of all the vices can smuggle
itself into the very centre of our religious life. But you can
see why. The other, and less bad, vices come from the devil working
on us through our animal nature. But this does not come through
our animal nature at all. It comes direct from Hell. It is purely
spiritual: consequently it is far more subtle and deadly. For
the same reason, Pride can often be used to beat down the simpler
vices. Teachers, in fact, often appeal to a boy's Pride, or,
as they call it, his self-respect, to make him behave decently:
many a man has overcome cowardice, or lust, or ill-temper, by
learning to think that they are beneath his dignity - that is,
by Pride. The devil laughs. He is perfectly content to see you
becoming chaste and brave and self-controlled provided, all the
time, he is setting up in you the Dictatorship of Pride - just
as he would be quite content to see your chilblains cured if
he was allowed, in return, to give you cancer. For Pride is spiritual
cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment,
or even common sense.
Before leaving this subject I must guard against some possible
misunderstandings:
(1) Pleasure in being praised is not Pride. The child who is
patted on the back for doing a lesson well, the woman whose beauty
is praised by her lover, the saved soul to whom Christ says 'Well
done,' are pleased and ought to be. For here the pleasure lies
not in what you are but in the fact that you have pleased someone
you wanted (and rightly wanted) to please. The trouble begins
when you pass from thinking, 'I have pleased him; all is well,'
to thinking, 'What a fine person I must be to have done it.'
The more you delight in yourself and the less you delight in
the praise, the worse you are becoming. When you delight wholly
in yourself and do not care about the praise at all, you have
reached the bottom. That is why vanity, though it is the sort
of Pride which shows most on the surface, is really the least
bad and most pardonable sort. The vain person wants praise, applause,
admiration, too much and is always angling for it. It is a fault,
but a child-like and even (in an odd way) a humble fault. It
shows that you are not yet completely contented with your own
admiration. You value other people enough to want them to look
at you. You are, in fact, still human. The real black, diabolical
Pride, comes when you look down on others so much that you do
not care what they think of you. Of course, it is very right,
and often our duty, not to care what people think of us, if we
do so for the right reason; namely, because we care so incomparably
more what God thinks. But the Proud man has a different reason
for not caring. He says 'Why should I care for the applause of
that rabble as if their opinion were worth anything? And even
if their opinions were of value, am I the sort of man to blush
with pleasure at a compliment like some chit of a girl at her
first dance? No, I am an integrated, adult personality. All I
have done has been done to satisfy my own ideals - or my artistic
conscience - or the traditions of my family - or, in a word,
because I'm That Kind of Chap. If the mob like it, let them.
They're nothing to me.' In this way real thorough-going pride
may act as a check on vanity; for, as I said a moment ago, the
devil loves 'curing' a small fault by giving you a great one.
We must try not to be vain, but we must never call in our Pride
to cure our vanity.
(2) We say in English that a man is 'proud' of his son, or his
father, or his school, or regiment, and it may be asked whether
'pride' in this sense is a sin. I think it depends on what, exactly,
we mean by 'proud of'. Very often, in such sentences, the phrase
'is proud of' means 'has a warm-hearted admiration for'. Such
an admiration is, of course, very far from being a sin. But it
might, perhaps, mean that the person in question gives himself
airs on the ground of his distinguished father, or because he
belongs to a famous regiment. This would, clearly, be a fault;
but even then, it would be better than being proud simply of
himself. To love and admire anything outside yourself is to take
one step away from utter spiritual ruin; though we shall not
be well so long as we love and admire anything more than we love
and admire God.
(3) We must not think Pride is something God forbids because
He is offended at it, or that Humility is something He demands
as due to His own dignity - as if God Himself was proud. He is
not in the least worried about His dignity. The point is, He
wants you to know Him: wants to give you Himself. And He and
you are two things of such a kind that if you really get into
any kind of touch with Him you will, in fact, be humble - delightedly
humble, feeling the infinite relief of having for once got rid
of all the silly nonsense about your own dignity which has made
you restless and unhappy all your life. He is trying to make
you humble in order to make this moment possible: trying to take
off a lot of silly, ugly, fancy-dress in which we have all got
ourselves up and are strutting about like the little idiots we
are. I wish I had got a bit further with humility myself: if
I had, I could probably tell you more about the relief, the comfort,
of taking the fancy-dress off - getting rid of the false self,
with all its 'Look at me' and 'Aren't I a good boy?' and all
its posing and posturing. To get even near it, even for a moment,
is like a drink of cold water to a man in a desert.
(4) Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will
be what most people call 'humble' nowadays: he will not be a
sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that,
of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him
is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real
interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will
be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy
life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will
not be thinking about himself at all.
If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell
him the first step. The first step is to realise that one is
proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can
be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means
you are very conceited indeed.
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