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The Victim
An extract from
Sheldon Kopp's The End of Innocence
The victim is far more dangerous
than the powerful, responsibility-burdened caretaker. Beware
the helplessness gambit of the chronic victim! Some people typically
get out from under their own responsibilities (in which they
would otherwise have to take care of themselves) by acting helpless
and weak in order to invite others to do it for them. If the
other person does not respond, then he is accused of being cruel
and unfeeling. But should he arrogantly take on the role of caretaker,
then the helpless one will soon hold him in contempt as being
a weak fool, and what he offers will be returned as somehow not
good enough. In the long run the helper is made to feel helpless.
Finally the victim is in the power position (though he has won
nothing but the degrading imposition of his will by playing through
weakness) or failing that, he settles for the spiteful sense
of having been able to keep the other from having his way.
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