An actor without technicians is a
naked person , standing on a bare stage, in
the dark, trying to emote. A technician without actors, is person with saleable skills.
-------------------
What do you call an electrician with a hammer?
Thief!
What do you call a carpenter working in a dimmer panel?
Dead!
What do you get when you make an electrician a carpenter?
A bad carpenter.
What do you get when you make a carpenter an electrician?
A dead carpenter.
-------------------
- What's the difference between the lighting tech and the sound tech?
-
- The lighting tech washes his hands BEFORE he goes to the bathroom.
-
- Why don't you run over an electrician on a bicycle?
-
- Might be your bike.
-
- What's the difference between a sound guy and God?
-
- God doesn't think he's a sound guy.
-
- Why do sound guys say "check, one, two?"
If they could count any higher, they'd be
a lighting tech. |
The
Inevitable Light Bulbs.....! How many lighting techs does
it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's not a lightbulb, its a LAMP!!
------------------
How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nine...one to do it, and eight to stand around and say "I
could do better than that"
------------------
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they can never find the light.
-------------------
How many sound engineers does it take to change a lamp?
"Can't we just turn all the other ones up a bit?" -------------------
How many radical feminist performance artists does it take?
Five. One to do it, and four to host a panel discussion of the
political, social, and sexual ramifications of the lamp-changing.
-------------------
How many producers?
"Sorry; a new lamp isn't in the budget."
---------------------
- How many prop-masters does it take to change a lightbulb?
-
- 2 one to sweep up the glass and the other to pull out the base.
- -------------------
- How many directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
-
- 3...no, make it 4... on second thought 3... make it 5 just to be
safe.
- ------------------
- How many Stuntmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
-
- 11 - 1 to change the bulb, 10 to clap.
- -------------------
- How many lighting designers does is take to change a lightbulb?
-
- None. Its a carefuly orchestrated blackout.
- -------------------
- How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
-
- Well... Does it have to be a lightbulb? Why can't it be a candle?
- -------------------
- How many directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
-
- Hmmmmmm.........Light bulb..............Allow me to ponder the
changing of the bulb.
- -------------------
- How many stage managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
-
- I DONT CARE- JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!
- -------------------
- How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
-
- One - the actor holds the lightbulb, and the world revolves around
the actor...
- -------------------
- What's black, crispy, and hangs from the ceiling?
-
- An actor changing a light bulb!
|
The
Abbey Theatre & Arts Centre
