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What NOT to wear when visiting Tech Theatre Trade
Shows (eg PLASA)
(Reprinted, courtesy of Lightnix and
the Blue Room)
Please, everybody: don't wear polo shirts - they're
soooo uncool (and useless for cleaning windows).
Anybody who has been in the business more than five minutes will tell you, that
classic "techie" attire at PLASA consists of...
a) The oldest piece of T-shirt swag you own, to show everyone else how long
you've been around. Ideally it should be a tad too small, in order to display...
b) A hint of beer gut, the size of which is also an indicator of the number of
years spent working in showbusiness and, therefore, level of experience.
c) Faded black jeans*. Again these should be just a bit too tight, thus allowing
b) to hang over the front of them while displaying a healthy half-inch of b*m cr*ck
at the rear.
d) Hastily polished, but obviously well-worn steel-toed, ankle-length boots.
e) A slightly loose belt / bum bag**, which is also carrying at least: a
mobile 'phone, Mini Maglite, Leatherman and a some other "useful tool",
preferably purchased while "on tour in the States" and totally unavailable in
the UK.
f) A lanyard which isn't available at this year's PLASA. In addition to your
PLASA ticket, it should have on it a couple of laminates from the most
prestigious gigs you've done recently. Please note that the lanyard is the
only non-black item of "techie" attire allowed.
g) A tour / bomber jacket, preferably with the name of a band on it (as opposed
to a mere manufacturer).
h) A laptop bag, slung across the shoulders.
i) A day's worth of stubble.
* These may be substituted with faded black jogging pants, with legs that are
too short and ride up well above the ankles.
** If wearing a bum-bag, it should hang to the front and resemble a codpiece.
Overall, the effect to create is one of somebody dashing between gigs, who
barely has time to be at PLASA, but came along at the last minute in order to...
i) Catch up with a few old mates.
ii) Meet an important client.
iii) Do some networking.
This effect can be increased by constantly glancing around the exhibition / at
your watch, while talking to anyone you meet in the aisles who isn't a potential
employer and cutting all conversations short with a, "Look, sorry mate -
gotta dash - just too many people to catch up with", followed by a,
"Which pub are you going to? Catch you in there later" as you disappear.
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The
Abbey Theatre & Arts Centre
NOTE -
Godiva 2010
is now open...