I believe this to be adapted from a work by Bill Burgess called The Young Athlete. At this time I am unable to trace an original or the author - Hopefully it would be with his kind permission but in his absence I believe he would want as many young performers to benefit from it as possible - If you know otherwise please let me know!

The Ten Commandments for Parents of Athletic Children

· Make sure that your child knows that win or lose, scared or heroic you love them, appreciate their efforts, and are not disappointed in them. This will allow them to do their best without fear of failure. Be the person in their life that they can look to for constant positive reinforcement.

· Try your best to be completely honest about your child's athletic ability, their competitive attitude, their sportsmanship and their actual skill level.

· Be helpful but don't coach them on the way to training or on the way back, or at the breakfast table and so on. It's tough not to, but it's a lot tougher for the child to be inundated with advice pep talks and often critical instruction.

· Teach them to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be "out there trying", to be working to improve their skills and attitudes. Help them to develop the feel for competing, for trying hard, for having fun.

· Try not to relive your athletic life through them in a way that creates pressure; you lost as well as won. You were frightened, you backed off at times and you were not always heroic. Don't pressure your child because of your pride. Athletic children need their parents so you must not withdraw. Just remember there is a thinking, feeling, sensitive "free spirit" out there who needs a lot of understanding especially when their world turns bad. If they are comfortable with you, win or lose, they are on their way to maximum achievement and enjoyment.

· Dont "compete" with the coach - work with them!

· Don't compare the skill, courage or attitudes of your child with other members of the squad - at least within their hearing.

· Get to know the coach so that you can be assured that their philosophy, attitudes, ethics and knowledge are such that you are happy to have your child under their leadership

· Always remember that children tend to exaggerate both when praised and when criticised. Temper your reaction and investigate before over reacting.

· Make a point of understanding courage, and the fact that it is relative. Some of us can climb mountains and are afraid to fight. Some of us will fight, but turn to jelly if a bee approaches. Everyone is frightened in certain areas. Explain that courage is not the absence of fear, but a means of doing something in spite of fear or discomfort.