All the news out of Oxford these days is likely to be fairly sordid. The latest little scandal concerns a wealthy City banker, Mr Philip Keevil, who raised £100,000 for his old college, Trinity, and then withdrew the donation after the college refused admission to his son - even though he had the necessary academic qualifications.
Fearful perhaps of being attacked by the chip-on-shoulder Chancellor, Gordon Brown, for favouritism, the President of Trinity Mr Michael Beloff solemnly declared: "We play it straight down the middle. It seems to be imperative that Oxford maintains a level playing field for applicants."
As it happens Mr Beloff (Eton and Magdalen) is himself an Oxford man, as was his father the late Lord Beloff, the ultra-right-wing founder of Buckingham University and devotee of Lady Thatcher.
Since Oxford he has made a small fortune as one of the country's most successful barristers, acting in the commercial courts with occasional brief forays into libel.
How does it come about that this wealthy lawyer becomes the President of one of Oxford's largest and best-known colleges? Is there a level playing field? And do the college authorities play it straight down the middle when considering possible applicants for this prestigious post? Or do they tend to favour an Oxford man with a great deal of money, not to say a number of valuable contacts in the City and the business world?
As the late John Junor used to say: "I think we should be told."
The President of Trinity College, Oxford, the wealthy lawer Mr Michael Beloff QC, spoke movingly a week or so before Christmas when under attack from one of the college's benefactors, Mr Philip Keevil. A City banker, Mr Keevil had been understandably peeved when, after donating £100,000 to the college, they then refused admission to his son, even though he had the right qualifications.
Mr Beloff, however, was adamant. "We play it straight down the middle," he told the press. "It seems to be imperative that Oxford maintains a level playing field for all applicants." Such an approach must have commended itself to Mr and Mrs Blair when advising their son Euan on choosing a college to pursue his further studies.
After all, it would be only too tempting for a college principal to find a place for the Prime Minister's son in view of all the perks and publicity that might ensue.
With his straight bat and level playing field however, there would be absolutely no question of Mr Beloff yielding to any siren voices. Even the fact that he was a personal friend of the Prime Minister and his wife would not deflect him from the path of duty, from considering young Euan's application solely on its merit.
No wonder, in the circumstances, that Trinity Oxford what the Blair's first choice. No wonder that they were extremely upset when the newspapers began sniffing around, scenting a possible story. Luckily, Lord Wakeham was still at the helm of the PCC to make sure that the privacy of the Blairs was respected and that Mr Beloff's level playing field was not invaded by teams of prying hacks.
The Reverend John Platt, chaplain of Pembroke College, Oxford, has resigned since he was exposed in the Sunday Times last weekend offering a place at the college in exchange for a large donation of £300,000 to college funds.
What a contrast in behaviour to his opposite number, the President of Trinity College, Oxford, Mr Michael Beloff QC, who last December refused admission to the son of a wealthy banker City banker, Mr Philip Keevil, who was offering him a donation of £100,000.
When Mr Keevil withdrew his offer in a huff, Mr Beloff, a wealthy lawyer, solemnly declared: "We play it down the middle. It seems to me imperative that Oxford maintains a level playing field for all applicants."
If only the Reverend Platt could have been guided by a similarly high moral principles to those of Mr Beloff. No wonder that our highly principled Prime Minister, Mr Blair, when looking for a suitable college his own son, Euan, chose Trinity, Oxford, as the most appropriate college. As it happens, Mr Beloff is a close friend of the Prime Minister and a former legal colleague of Mrs Cherie Blair. But of course there will be no question of him showing any favouritism when deciding whether to admit their young son.
Reverend Platt may have been prepared to bend the rules but Mr Beloff, on his level playing field, can be relied upon to keep a straight bat and treat him just the same as any other applicant.
Editor's note: The article was an attempt, lawyer-to-lawyer, to repair the reputation of el grizzled Presidente. Amongst Berlins' long, greasy smarm appeared the following quote:
Oh can't you just hear the laughter, the laughter...
Euan Blair will not be following in his father's footsteps by going to Oxford, but will take up a place to study ancient history at Bristol University this autumn, it was revealed yesterday.
The prime minister's eldest son, aged 18, was this week awarded three A grades, including general studies, and a C in his A-levels.
A spokesman for Bristol said Euan was offered 2 Bs and a C for a place on the three year honours degree course, which attracted 12 applications per place. Overall, there were 2,000 applications for 100 places for history at the university.
Downing Street had sought to keep details of his search for a university place out of the press, arguing that it was private. A spokeswoman confirmed Euan's decision to study in Bristol yesterday following a report in the Bristol Evening Post.
She said: "He is delighted and looking forward to going to a university which has such an excellent reputation."
Euan has been a pupil at the Catholic London Oratory school in west London since his parents rejected the local secondary schools in Islington.
Bristol University, which was founded in 1876 and granted university status in 1909, has around 14,000 students and is regularly among the top 10 in league tables.
Prince William - about to start his second year at St Andrew's University - was at one stage very interested in going to Bristol.
Phew - so all's well that euans well. - Ed.
The US Congresswoman whose office Euan Blair has left prematurely is a trenchant critic of the Iraq war, it emerged yesterday.
The Prime Minister's eldest son abruptly left his internship with Jane Harman after just two weeks. It is reported in Washington that the Bristol University ancient history graduate was "bored" and "uninterested" in his duties. Roll Call, a Congressional journal, even described the young Mr Blair as a "dilettante".
But another possible reason emerged for the sudden termination of Euan's tenure: Ms Harman's attitude to the intelligence promoted by his father in the run up to war in Iraq. The whisper on some of the smarter Westminster streets yesterday is that he found Ms Harman's office "too left-wing" for his liking.
Ms Harman, a Democrat, is known as one of the leading US critics of this intelligence. In particular, she has launched attacks in the wake of the CIA's Duelfer report, which concluded that Saddam Hussein had no weapons of mass destruction. Ms Harman said the report "is yet another example that there really are two Americas. There's the one that exists in the Bush fantasy world, and then there's the real America". She maintained that the report showed a diminishing threat from Iraq at the time of the invasions.
Thanks to her husband's audio equipment fortune, Ms Harman is one of the wealthiest members of Congress, and is suspected by some inside her party of being "too moderate and inclined to accommodate the Republican agenda". It was pointed out yesterday that Ms Harman rated a 0 per cent approval rating from the American Conservative Union. Euan's previous, Republican employer scored 92 per cent. But Roll Call, which reported Euan's departure from Ms Harman's office, opted for a more prosaic explanation. It wrote that he seemed "uninterested" in the junior tasks he was set, and described him as a "dilettante".
Downing Street yesterday had its own take on events. "Euan had to cut short his internship because he needs to attend some preliminary courses over the summer before starting a postgraduate degree. He thoroughly enjoyed his time as an intern in both offices and is extremely grateful for the experience."
EUAN'S BOSS: "President Bush and his advisers decided how and when to fight this war. They owe Congress and the American people a detailed strategy to bring our engagement in Iraq to an end." - Jane Harman, Congresswoman