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Everything A True Fan Wanted To Know About: Steve
What's the most dangerous sport you've tried?
Cliff-jumping without a parachute! The object of the game is to stay alive when your head comes into contact with the ground. (Big fibber!) Actually, I don't do dangerous sports, except sailing, which is a bit dodgy if you fall overboard.
Do you eat aeroplane food?
Oh yes. I don't ask for anything special. I take what is put down before me and if I don't do that I starve - tough luck. British Airways and Aer Lingus do the best food and British Midland do good breakfasts.
Who cleans your house?
My mother does. And me, cos I help when I'm at home! I do! She makes me do the dishes. Well, (thinks) she asks me to do them, although sometimes I volunteer.
Do you recycle your newspapers?
I don't have any newspapers to recycle. I read magazines and then put them down for someone else to read next. That's recycling too!
Is a dog man's best friend?
Dogs are very friendly animals and a lot of people miss their dogs when they go off on holiday. But a man's best friend is his best friend. Whether that best friend happens to be a dog is a different matter entirely. It could, for example, be a cat or a chimpanzee!
What's in your CD player?
Janet Jackson's The Velvet Rope and a band called Allure singing a song called All Cried Out - classic!
Who's your favourite Friends character?
I like Rachel best. (Reconsiders.) No, I like Phoebe. It has been said that I'm like Phoebe but (shaking head innocently) I'm not! I mean, she's a bit mad, isn't she? (Begins to sing Phoebe's fave song.) "Oh smelly cat, smelly cat..."
What do you buy to eat in service stations?
Usually just sandwiches - ham and cheese, something like that. I don't like anything with fancy pickles. In fact, none of us do. We all tumble out of the bus and into the service station shop together and buy sandwiches and a bottle of water.
Do you drink tea or coffee?
I don't drink tea and I didn't drink coffee until Ronan introduced me to it when I was really tired one morning. It woke me up! I drink it with no sugar and no milk which gives it a very strong coffee taste. Not bad for someone who doesn't even like coffee cream chocolates, is it?
What's your top PlayStation game and why?
Hercules, of course. I have that one. Tomb Raider Two is good as well. Oh, and I like Wipeout. It's a futuristic car racing game and I'm getting better at it all the time.
When was the last time you zipped over the carpet with the hoover?
About a fortnight ago, when I was home, I hoovered my bedroom. I'm very handy with a hoover, you know. (Sings again.) "Do the shake and vac and put the freshness back.." Do I use Shake and Vac? Nooo! Don't be daft, I couldn't be bothered with all that!
Have you ever sung karaoke?
I have, yeah. I used to sing Richard Marx's Right Here Waiting. I did it at a holiday camp one summer when I was younger!
Would you eat British beef?
I'd eat it. If someone gave me a plate of spaghetti bolognese I'd definitely eat it. In fact I'd say, "Leave me alone and let me eat what I like!"
What do you think is the best soap opera on telly and why?
Well, Friends is the best soap and I think a lot of people would agree with me cos it's very popular and the videos are selling very well. It is a soap opera. It is! (Turns to nearest person.) Look, do you think Friends could be considered a soap? You do? Good. "Oh, smelly cat, smelly cat..."
What's the strangest compliment you've been given?
Erm, that I have nice feet. Sometimes if I'm in a hotel and I want to go downstairs to the lobby for something I'll just go as I am with no socks or shoes on cos I like to walk barefoot when I can. I once met some fans who said I had nice feet. Which was nice, but it's not the most noticeable part of a person, is it?
What part of Top Of The Tops Magazine do you read first and why?
I obviously have to go to my column to see if it's turned out alright, then I read any bits with us in, and then I go to the Lottery.
What's the point?
We're past the point of no return.
What is your favourite gadget?
I bought a new mini-disc player in Japan which is half the size of the ones you can buy in the UK. I do own some mini-discs to play on it but the best thing about it is you can record your own music and the quality is great. (Adopts Dixons salesman technique.) They're very reasonable, especially with the price coming down at the moment!
When did you last make someone cry?
It would be a while ago now but I have done it. Unfortunately. It happens in situations where something's not going well or you're having an argument. Everyone says things they shouldn't say, and are then sorry afterwards. It's horrible - I know cos I've had it happen to me, too.
What's your favourite ice cream flavour?
Well, Häagen Dazs' strawberry and cheesecake is my ice cream of the month - it's strawberry ice cream with little biscuity flakes in it. I've taken a real liking to it but I just can't find it anywhere!