You've got to live in the UK and be over 25 to appreciate the enigma that is the Cavalier: interesting looks and an unrewarding driving experience (I can assure numerous co-respondents that it really is this way round).
Tiring of her 2.0 GL, Lesley decided that cooking it on the drive was preferable to the traditional strategy of inviting prospective owners to part with cash. The fire-brigade turned up to the party as well, in part making up for the fact that I was safely abroad at the time. The remains below passed to that great scrapyard in the sky - darkside department.
An entirely different strategy was engaged by Lesley to dispose of the
1.8 GL replacement: a combination of a fresh snow-fall, a injudiciously
parked break-down vehicle and an fellow conspirator in a following
vehicle all played important parts. In short, the car front-ended into
the breakdown truck, and the following car obliged by shunting into the
rear. You'll have to use your imagination to visualise the result;
here's a pic of happier times:
How does such an obvious Audi/BMW/Rover target (looks early 40s / working wife / 2 grown-up children / Times reader - on the internet / Sun reader - at the barber's) become a Honda buyer? Well I turned up at the Worcester Audi dealer wanting to replace an A4 1.8T (the shame!) with a new one. I asked the sales guy if I could test-drive the model, and he said, 'I'm busy with a customer.' A little stunned, I momentarily considered going down on one knee and asking if it was OK to look, but the boys had skipped off to the nearby Honda dealer. When I caught up with them, they said, 'dad, that's what we've got to have'. The Honda salesman seemed more familiar with 'the test-drive / part with cash / drive it home' model of car acquisition, with the result below. I'm still trying to figure out the 'keep them hungry' sales strategy employed by Audi; are you allowed to touch? When are you permitted to sit in one? How do you get to take it home? Do you need a secret password/handshake? Anyway… this is about cars...
We really like this one; 212bhp helps keep up with modern traffic … I mean beats the excrement out of other so-called performance carriages (from Germany). Plus it has the 2 rarest of options: a temperature controlled slipper warmer and a 5-place pipe holder elegantly velcro'd to the dashboard. It's the true old chap's express ( 'pass me Pimms, there's a good fellow…' ):
At breakfast the other day Lesley chimed in demanding a car that's more fun … than a Cavalier. Stunned silence from the crew at the other end of the table. So we went and sought out a nice little sporty number. Lesley's eyes popped out of her head when she saw it; they nearly popped out again when she drove it (no power steering!). I think she was expecting a mid-engine rear-drive number from Stuttgart. Oh dear. Talk about being misdirected. Anyway … we have what we have …and it does begin with a 'P' … and it's make our own breakfasts from now on.
Alex's car. You all know what these are about …
Well, we've all got over Lesley expecting (whisper it…) a Porsche Boxter when we bought her last car (the blue one above). At least the chaps here have. In order to make amends, we agreed to find her a new car - she said it begins with 'F', and they make them on the continent. So we rushed out, and bought one of these - double 'F' is a double bonus, we thought! Err, wrong …
Lesley's quite enamoured with the Focus. I think it's the funky look … or maybe the colour... you know, the frequency of the visible spectrum emitted by the pigment in the surface finish… anyway, we don't care about that, we're blokes… time has come to think about replacing the 106 Rallye. We chaps here are completely devoid of imagination. Completely. How do you replace a fun, great handling buzzbox? Now we've thought about it that's easy; something with a little more of the same …a little more room would be nice, but mainly improved handling and performance. Approximately 3X better. That's how a 106 Rallye becomes a 306 Rallye. Well I did say approx 3X. And black like the Honda (not that colour is a concern of the chaps here; I've explained that already). It’s early days yet, but we think this is a stonker … I present the facts: 6 speed box: good so far; 167bhp: useful; 0-60 in under 7 secs: that's nice - actually, very similar to the Honda, except comfy shoes are optional. I wonder if the pipe rack fits…such detail marks the difference between the occasional bit of fun and the daily driver for us older chaps, ya know ;-)
I know what you're thinking… do the Cranspoons need another car… indeed another Peugeot? Well the grand plan according to Alex is to acquire a 106XSi (same suspension and so on as the Rallye he tells me) and stick a bigger lump in it to make a track-day special. So we brought the car below back from Oxford with a u/s engine… the cam tensioner bearings had previously disintegrated, causing the belt to slip and … well you know what happens… so the car became candidate #1. Anyway, it's pics you want to see, so here we are on tow…
