I know a band that does'nt have a banjo player,so I asked if I could join them, you know what they said?
It would be like painting a moustach on the Mona Lisa!!

A guy went into a bar and said to the barman "Do you want to hear my new banjo joke?"
Barman says "Just a minute...I play banjo, and you see that big guy over there...he plays banjo as well, And Fred the knee cruncher in the corner, he plays the banjo too!Now, do you still want to tell a banjo joke?"
he replied: "No.... I don't feel like explaining it three times!"

A banjo player was busking in the street, when a dog came up and started howling next to him,
a window opens up above.....and someone shouts....
"Can't you play something else, he knows that number!"

How many banjo players does it take to eat a rabbit?
10, one to scrap it off the road and eat it, and the other nine to watch for headlights!!

Did you hear about the banjo player who attempted to commit suicide by taking paracetamol?
After the first two tablets he felt better!!

What does a chicken and a banjo have in common?
They both squark when you pluck em!

A plane load of banjo players are taken hostage, the terrorists issue an ultimatum....
Pay up or we'll release one every hour!

A guy was driving down a road, when suddenly he is confronted by a Banjo player
and a melodeon player, which one does he aim for?
The banjo player....it's business before pleasure!!

What's the difference between a tin whistle and a flute?
You can flatten a tin whistle with a small mallet, but with a flute you need a mash hammer!!

What's the difference between a melodeon and an accordion?
A melodeon burns faster!!

Did you hear about the Guitarist walking down the street, he came across two banjo players having a right ol' scrap, he said what's up with U 2?
One of them said... "It's him he's slackened off one of my strings, and he won't tell me which one!!"

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