We tend to assume that there is only one way to do things. We think in the box. We are limited by our unspoken assumptions.
Even in the way we sing 'Happy Birthday' we tend to conform to mediocrity. We see our alternative as angry rebellion.
There is a better alternative: looking for possibility! (Note the singular 'possibility'. The plural, possibilities, implies a list of options to which we might respond with either resignation or anger. The singular implies limitless optimism!)
Points
Every human enterprise needs someone to notice assumptions, identifying those with permission to make them.
Challenging these assumptions should not be with anger, but with 'possibility'.
Classical music
Classical music opens the world of challenge and possibility. We should not make it resigned and comfortable - but dangerous! A conductor reminds the players of this and so releases their possibility.
Inhibition
This release does not always happen.
The inner voice is whispering in the ear “Watch the bar lines... This bit is difficult... Am I really not very good?” etc.
This limits the quality of performance. To get into the realm of 'possibility', this inner voice needs to be stilled... or better, to behave with all the mischievous, creative innocence of a little child.
A child is not anxious, when skipping along the street, in case (s)he is not the best skipper. And directly because there is no anxiety, the skipping is beautiful and energising.
Giving Each Other An A
'Personality is a strategy to get out of childhood alive.'
What a shame that we lose this naive and beautiful quality - the ability to create joy simply by expressing what we are and what we feel, without anxiety and self-effacement, in the uninhibited beauty of the moment.
This inhibitory process perhaps begins at school, where we begin to chase 'success'.
'Success' is like one side of a hand. 'Failure' is the other side and you can't have one without the other. When we win a race, it sets us up for disappointment when we lose. When we get an A grade, it sets up the prospect of a B.
Ben only teaches A-grade students! At the start of the course, he gets them to write a letter, dated one year on.
It says: 'Dear Mr Zander, I got my A because....
The key point in the rest of the letter is that the student describes not how hard they will have worked, or what subjects they will have covered, but what they will be.
What they could be, if inhibition could get out of the way! What they could be, if they could capture the innocence of the child.
Transformation
This is not learning, it is transformation. Motivation is temporary. It needs another fix. Transformation is forever, because there is a new insight; a new vision.
And from this new vision, you suddenly see that the old goalposts were illusory. The box was of your own making.
The need to be the best; to be what people thought I should be; to be the caricature of myself that I increasingly believed was me - suddenly I laugh at these things and can never aspire to them again. (Like the film, 'The Matrix').
The old standards, by which I judged myself, were invented! They were designed so that I could only fail, even when seeming to succeed.
('If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same').
Possibility
Ben released us into the realm of possibility!
(It has to have an exclamation mark!)
(So does that!)
(Etc!)
Michaelangelo knew of possibility.
He said sculpture is easy. In every block of marble, there is a beautiful sculpture inside, waiting for you to find it.
A leader is one who sees possibility. He prefixes every sentence by 'I have a dream...' He does not doubt that his followers will believe him. (Ben's dream is 'Passionate music-making, without boundaries').
The sheep cannot pass the fence. It is impenetrable. But the bird flies over the fence, not even noticing it is there.
A conductor does not make a sound - but his power is to awaken the power and possibility in others.
You can measure this by shining eyes. (Who am I being, if my children's eyes are not shining?)
A leader, a conductor (an electrical conductor is a conduit for energy) asks 'What is standing in the way of your being fully expressed?'
The Downward Spiral
The world seems often to prefer the realm of spirals: mainly downward spirals of negativity.
Empowering the negative. Negative vibes leading to a sense of inability to do anything: it is all too much.
Ros told a story of someone watching someone on a beach throw, one by one, stranded starfish back into the sea. There were endless thousands along the beach, so the watcher said 'Why bother? What good does it do to throw a few back? What does it matter?'
The reply, as she threw one back, was 'It matters to this one'.
We need to move from downward spirals to the realm of radiating possibility. This begins again with every interaction.
Interactions
Living in the 'realm of possibility' begins with my interactions with those around me.
Do I give them an A, as Ben gives his students?
How many people do I treat like a C-minus?
Wouldn't it be good if Arabs and Israelis gave each other As? How seriously do I take myself?
Points
Don't take yourself so seriously (Rule No. 6).
I have a dream!
A man got into a taxi and said 'Quick! Quick! - Go! Go!'
'Where to ?'
'It doesn't matter! They need me everywhere.'
The shadow of bitterness
A downward spiral approach casts a shadow over life. Beyond every peak climbed is another one to climb. There is no success, only failure.
The language of this shadow is one of success and failure, where goals are grimly pursued.
The language includes words such as 'should', 'ought', 'need', 'must'. It is about duty, threat, blame, fault and self-protection.
And it is all an illusion - a sad game we play with our lives.
Possibility
The new game is 'I am a contribution'.
It is not cajoling, driving what should be best. It is not convincing or persuading.
It is sharing a dream. The entry criterion is transformation - the ability to see in a new way. The way of radiating possibility! A 'failure' is a fascinating opportunity.
The language is 'What if...?' 'How about...?' It is the difference between: 'Only 50% of people like classical music. How can we get it up to 60%?' and 'Everyone likes classical music. How can we allow them to discover it?'
If they do not, perhaps it is I who should apologise, for not having adequately enrolled them into my vision.
In the realm of possibility, action follows vision - and the action may surprise 'spiral' people. Surprise them because it does not seem to be profitable, or practical, or logical. And surprise them because possibility works.
The Boston Symphony Orchestra is one of the most financially robust orchestras in the USA. But its lowest ticket price has remained the same for 20 years, and if they have spares, they give them away.
Leading transformation
The leader needs to create shining eyes all around.
The new game of 'I am a contribution' plugs into 'the socket of endless possibility' and surprising energy.
Points
The endless power of possibility
Success/failure is invented
A transformational leader thinks like this:
Let every word be one you would be glad to have as your last word.
If you focus on the negative, then that is what you will get. Don't fight inequality: pursue equality.
What is best for us?
Talk with passion, and you do not need to beg for cash - it flows. Selling results in giving for something unwanted!
A vision does not exclude people.
Enrol people into your agenda, and generate possibility - but be comfortable whichever way it goes.
Not 'Are you right or wrong?' but 'Who are you?'
Deal with reality, not with what reality should be.
'Beyond the F- it'
Ben had a cellist apply for the post of assistant lead in the cello section. He was Spanish, and technically brilliant. Ben coached him before the audition. He said he had the technique, but would not be chosen as a leader because he was limited by the music. He was like a sheep, not a bird. They worked for hours and finally achieved a transformation. When the audition came, he did not dare play like that, and did not get the job.
He said 'F... it!!!' He decided to go for a more senior position, and then he revealed all the possibility in the music. And he got the job.