ENGLAND AND AMERICA

A transatlantic view of England.

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England and America

1. ON A RHINE STEAMER

Republic of the West,

Enlightened, free, sublime,

Unquestionably best

Production of our time.

The telephone is thine,

And thine the Pullman Car,

The caucus, the divine

Intense electric star.

To thee we likewise owe

The venerable names

Of Edgar Allan Poe,

And Mr. Henry James.

In short it's due to thee,

Thou kind of Western star,

That we have come to be

Precisely what we are.

But every now and then,

It cannot be denied,

You breed a kind of men

Who are not dignified.

Or courteous or refined,

Benevolent or wise,

Or gifted with a mind

Beyond the common size,

Or notable for tact,

Agreeable to me,

Or anything, in fact,

That people ought to be.

2. ON A PARISIAN BOULEVARD

Britannia rules the waves,

As I have heard her say;

She frees whatever slaves

She meets upon her way.

A teeming mother she

Of Parliaments and Laws;

Majestic, mighty, free:

Devoid of common flaws.

For here did Shakspere write

His admirable plays:

For her did Nelson fight

And Wolseley win his bays.

Her sturdy common sense

Is based on solid grounds:

By saving numerous pence

She spends effective pounds.

The Saxon and the Celt

She equitably rules;

Her iron rod is felt

By countless knaves and fools.

In fact, mankind at large,

Black, yellow, white and red,

Is given to her in charge,

And owns her as a head.

But every here and there--

Deny it if you can--

She breeds a vacant stare

Unworthy of a man:

A look of dull surprise;

A nerveless idle hand:

An eye which never tries

To threaten or command:

In short, a kind of man,

If man indeed he be,

As worthy of our ban

As any that we see:

Unspeakably obtuse,

Abominably vain,

Of very little use,

And execrably plain.

James Kenneth Stephen (1859-1892)

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