EUROBOOBS
EUROBOOBS
Much as Cerdician would like to oblige its viewers by listing every single cock-up the European Union has ever achieved, we somehow do not think our server would be amused if we brough the entire Net crashing down under the strain! Therefore we have opted to go for the four biggest disasters ever to befall the Union of its own making (at least, the ones that have leaked out!). Pleasant reading, as you bear in mind British money largely funded (and still funds) them.
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Based on the idea that bureaucrats know more about farm prices than farmers, this disaster costs each British family hundreds of pounds a year, most of which goes in fraud. Initially farmers were paid to produce more food. Then it was found there was too much food, so the surplus was all sold to Russia for a tenth of its value, the farmers paid full price, and then paid more for not producing food (a bit like you being paid not to turn up at work - you wish!). One of the best examples of fraud was export grants, given to farmers who exported food to other E.U. countries. This led to large convoys of lorries spending days driving livestock across as many borders as they could, each time claiming a new grant (Luxembourg was very popular at this time). It gave a whole new meaning to free-range livestock, but achieved very little more. Another example was the 'paper olives', olive-trees for which subsidies were claimed by Southern European countries, yet which only existed on paper. The whole system was supposed to have been reformed back in 1992, which is probably why it now costs even more to run than ever before.
2. THE COMMON FISHERIES POLICY
Although it hasn't yet quite matched the CAP in terms of wasted money, the CFP has in some ways achieved more. Fish stocks are now threatened and mismanaged, fraud is rampant, but at least it has achieved one goal - enabling the Fourteen to plunder British fish stocks, which was after all the main aim. The best example of mismanagement was when Brussels decided that no fishing-boat under 10 metres long should be included in the rules. Thereafter every new boat built in Europe was 9.95 metres long, and wider and/or deeper to make up. Yes, but they didn't see it coming! Another EU law enables Spanish boats to register in Britain and then take our allocation as well as their own. Latest proposals, due to be implemented in 2002, will deprive Britain of what few exclusive fishing areas it has left, thus further destroying stocks.
3. LOME
This is a device whereby the European Union gives money to developing countries (e.g. Seychelles, Caribbean States) so that MEPs can fly off on junkets to them at the taxpayers' expense. It also helps sort out cock-ups from CAP and CFP, whereby surpluses from both can be dumped on such states at virtually no charge to them (though at full charge to the Euro-taxpayer, who has to pay the farmer/fisherman full cost price, as well as damaging the local economies).
4. THE EXCHANGE RATE MECHANISM
This system was set up in 1979 as a precursor to a single currency. E.U. officials calculated that, with the millions of pounds at the hands of the European central banks, they could easily outmanouevre the billions of pounds at the hands of the money men on the markets - rather like Liechtenstein assuming it can influence U.S. financial policy. The system, nicknamed 'the Snake', allowed currencies to be pegged against each other. For example, the pound was pegged against the German mark at 2.95, with a top band of 3.13 and a bottom one of 2.77. When the pound hit the lower band European banks were obliged to buy pounds to force the price up, and when it reached the upper band they had to sell them to force it down. The money men loved this of course; they could sell as many pounds as they wanted, and they knew the banks would keep buying. Eventually the German bank refused to stick to its side of the deal, whereby the pound ignominiously fell out of the system. Since this time the British economy has outperformed every other in Europe. The system only survived by widening the bands so much it was virtually worthless, and was estimated to have cost Britain some £16 billion. It is now rumoured that Germany wants Britain to have to re-enter the ERM prior to joining a single currency - rather like taking a second dose of a medicine that has already made you violently ill.
5. THE SINGLE CURRENCY
You might have thought that the lessons of the ERM would have been learnt. No, neither would I. Eleven members (all but Greece, Denmark, Sweden and the U.K.) chose 1999 to start the transition to a single currency, saying it would become a currency of renown. They were swiftly proved right; it became renowned for sinking at record speed against the dollar and only bloody damn quickly against other currencies. The currency was weakened when rules were 'bent' to allow countries such as Italy in. Naturally this lesson also has not been learnt, and the rules have been again been 'bent' to get Greece on board. But disaster struck when the Danes, the only people to actually get the right to vote on joining, rejected it in 2000. Of course the euro is a precursor to a United States of Europe, but politicians are forbidden from saying that on this side of the Channel.
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