EUROANTHEM

Since the EU has hijacked one of my favourite tunes, the finale to Beethoven's 9th Symphony (the 'Ode to Joy'), I devote this page to returning the favour. Here are some words which, I feel, reflect that 'august' body as it marches (or staggers) into the third millennium. The words are for a four-verse version.

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1. We are Europe, marching onwards, you know we are always right,

Driving on to crush the sceptics, 'neath our bureaucratic might.

Take you over bit by bit, so every day you are less free,

And you think you get the truth from the Brussels Broadcasting Company.

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2. You know we will always hate you, gratitude we'll never learn.

Though oft times you've saved our bacon, 'gainst dictators' fire and burn,

Spanish Phil, Louis Mark 14, Old Boney himself and Kaiser Bill,

They and Hitler tried and failed, now we in Brussels will bend your will.

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3. Laws we make which we ignore, but to obey them you are bound,

Steal your fish stocks, ban your beef, then jail you for using the ounce and pound.

Take your cash, give just a bit back, but spend it you will on what say we.

And put up a great big sign; 'tis EU money, grateful be'.

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4. We are Europe marching onwards, sing this ode to joy aloud,

Europe's nations all united, against one who shall be cowed.

One day soon our starspun flag will fly over England conquered true,

Sweet revenge for all those times you've failed to let us conquer you!

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