EXCUSES,
EXCUSES!
EXCUSES,
EXCUSES!
'Genuine' excuses provided by parents:
1) My son is under the doctor and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2) Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3) Please excuse John being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating at the moment.
5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few day. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6) John has been absent because he has had two teeth taken off his face.
7) Dear School: Chris will not be in school cus he had an acre in his side.
8) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
9) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (several misspellings of diarrhoea crossed out) the sh*ts.
10) Please excuse Tom from being absent yesterday. He had diarrhoea and his boots were leaking.
11) Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust.
12) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
13) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
14) I kept Billie at home because she had to go shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
15) Gloria was absent yesterday because she was having a gangover.
16) Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it on Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17) Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him and I did not find him until I made the beds.
18) Jackson has not done his assignment on maths because his calculator kept getting it wrong and his dad's battery was flat.
19) Please excuse Sally from her cookery lesson. I didn't buy her the ingredients because I don't like shepherd's pie. We prefer the packet version.