UP
THE IRISH!
There
is, of course, no country called Ireland. There is a country which
likes to call itself Ireland, but is really the Republic of
Ireland or Eire. Here's a real history.
---------------------------------
----------------------------------
600-100
BC: Celts gradually arrive in Ireland. They are split between the
Brythonic (who give their name to Britain) and Goidelic (Gaelic)
groups, the latter gaining ascendancy in the island. Ireland is split
into many kingdoms, of which four will eventually emerge - Ulster
(north), Leinster (south-east), Munster (south-west) and Connaught
(west), primarily because the Celts are never united.
43
AD: Romans invade Britain, and have some influence on what they call
Hibernia (literally 'the land of winter').
432
or 456: St. Patrick returns to the island, bringing the Roman
alphabet. He had been captured by slave-traders and kept in Antrim
for six years before escaping to Gaul (France), where he became a
priest. He works to convert the Irish.
c.500:
A small tribe called the Scots realize their little Ulster kingdom of
Dalriada is in danger, and so leave to find a new kingdom in
Argyllshire (Scotland) called - Dalriada. Fortunately they are better
at kingdom-building than thinking up original names. Their old
kingdom collapses soon after. The 'new' Scots eventually take over
the northern third of Britain, and call it Scotland (another original
name!). Also crossing the Irish Sea are a group from Leinster, who
set up the kingdom of Dyfed in Wales.
831:
Viking raids start.
852:
Ivar the Boneless and Olaf the White found a fort at Dublin
(literally 'the black pool'). Ivar will use this base for the Viking
Great Army operations against the English kingdoms in 865-78, which
come close to crushing them completely.
1014:
Brian Boru High King of Ireland dies at the battle of Clontarf, but
his forces go on to rout the Vikings.
1093:
Deheubarth, the successor kingdom to Dyfed, is conquered by the
Norman Marcher Lords. The Norman monarchy tries to block any
involvement in Ireland, because they don't want their barons owning
land in a place they have no control over.
1155:
Pope Adrian IV (aka Nick Brakespear, the only English Pope) issues a
papal bull, requesting King Henry II of England to conquer Ireland
and bring it under Roman Catholic control. Henry, having only just
inherited an England rent by two decades of civil war, has better
things to do. For now....
1162:
Henry II appoints his chancellor and lifelong friend Thomas a Becket
as the new Archbishop of Canterbury, in an attempt to reform the
Church. To Henry's fury, Thomas immediately changes sides and blocks
any reforms.
1168:
Dermit King of Leinster, fearful for his weakening position, asks
Henry for aid. Henry refuses (he has enough problems, though not as
many as he's about to have!), but does allow his barons to
help if they can be persuaded. A disinherited Welsh Marcher baron
Richard de Clare ('Strongbow') agrees; Dermit promises to let him
marry his daughter and inherit the kingdom. Dermit dies in the
fighting, and Richard becomes King of Leinster, and thus technically
outside Henry II's control.
1170:
Following a furious outburst by Henry II saying he wanted Thomas
dead, four of his knights murder the archbishop in his cathedral at
Canterbury on December 29th. The Catholic world is horrified. Fearful
of a coalition against him, Henry secures the support of Pope
Alexander III by promising to secure Ireland.
1171:
Henry invades at Waterford, successfully. His youngest son John is
created Lord of Ireland.
1199:
Death of King Richard I of England. John is the new king, and thus
the Lordship of Ireland comes directly under English Crown control.
1216-1307:
The long reigns of Henry III and Edward I weaken the English position
in Ireland, reducing their control to lands around Dublin (the Pale).
Edward is more interested in Scotland and Wales, whilst Henry is just
plain incompetent.
1314:
Battle of Bannockburn. King Robert I (the Bruce) of Scotland defeats
Edward II of England. Robert's brother Edward crosses to Ireland to
organize resistance; he fails to become King of Ireland but does much
damage there.
1348:
Black Death hits the English (who live more in towns) much worse than
the native Irish.
1455-1487:
Wars of the Roses in England. More ground lost.
1497:
Poyning's Law. No law can be passed by the Irish parliament without
English permission.
1533:
Henry VIII breaks with Papal authority (the Reformation). Curiously
Henry remains Catholic, just refusing to acknowledge the Pope's
authority. This leads to worsening international relations as the
Pope tries to get foreign countries to invade England, so....
1541:
Henry VIII declares himself King of Ireland. The mostly Catholic
country offers/threatens a back door through which to attack England.
1547-58:
Edward VI makes England much more Protestant, then Mary I burns over
280 Protestants at the stake, which doesn't exactly do much for
Catholicism's image.
1583:
The Munster Plantation, one of several unsuccessful attempts to
'drown out' Catholics by persuading Protestants to live in Ireland.
1588:
Several Spanish Armada ships land (or wreck themselves) in Ireland,
where English soldiers are hard put to contain them. The Irish help
them - after robbing them of everything they possess, naturally!
1598:
Rebellion of the Northern Earls, part of a Spanish-backed
insurrection. A Spanish force is 'betrayed' when Irish leader Brian
Macmahon requests a bottle of whisky from the besieging English
commander Sir George Carew. The latter's reply is so courteous that,
in an untimely fit of gratitude, Macmahon sends him details of a
surprise attack the following morning which, unamazingly, goes rather
badly. This leads to the old Spanish joke about how the Devil showed
Jesus every country on Earth except Ireland - because he wanted that
for himself!
1603:
King James VI of Scotland becomes King James I of England. He orders
the only really 'successful' plantation, encouraging hundreds of
Protestant Scots to do the opposite to what they did a millennium
before and cross over/back to Ulster.
1641:
Irish Catholics massacre over 5000 Protestants. This event is one
cause of the English Civil War (1642-8), because Parliament refuses
to give King Charles I the army he needs to crush the rebellion in
case he turns it on them instead.
1647:
The Confederation of Kilkenny, allied with the king, comes close to
achieving Irish independence, but internal feuds wrekc this golden
chance.
1650:
Oliver Cromwell arrives in Ireland and attacks the towns of Drogheda
and Wexford, killing all the soldiers in the castles there. Over the
following years this will magically become the murder of everyone in
both towns. Almost all Catholics lose their lands to Protestants,
although the former are 'compensated' with much poorer land
elsewhere.
1688:
King James II's wife Mary of Modena gives birth to a son. The
prospect of a Catholic dynasty terrifies England - Catholic James has
been bad enough in just three years! - so they invite his daughter
Mary and her husband William III (of Orange) to invade. William's odd
name comes from a distant ancestor who lived in the southern French
town of Orange; typically he ended up ruling one of France's most
formidable enemies, the Dutch. James flees, but.....
1690:
James lands in Ireland, and most of the country supports him. The
Ulster cities of Enniskillen and Londonderry are the main ones to
defy him. William comes over and defeats James at the Battle of the
Boyne (Oldbridge). James repeats Cromwell's tactics with Limerick;
Irish history also repeats (and rewrites). After William leaves
continued Catholic attacks on Protestants lead the English parliament
to introduce harsh penal laws against their religion.
1796:
French invasion of Ireland goes a little off, when the entire fleet
panics and flees from the sum total of ONE British ship, Captain
Robert Pellew's Indefatigible.
1798:
Rebellion against British rule. This goes down badly, as the British
are being hard-pressed by revolutionary France, and leads to...
1800:
Act of Union with Great Britain creates the United Kingdom. Ireland's
population is over five million, one-third of that of the new
country.
1832:
Successful Irish revolt against Church tithes.
1845-8:
Irish Potato Famine (brought in from America, incidentally!).
Population collapses, and many leave for America. National Relief
Associations set up across Britain to combat the famine.
1879:
Irish Land League formed, to stop exploitation by Protestant
landowners. Their main tactic was to refuse to buy goods from their
targets, the first of whom, Captain Charles Boycott, became an
unwilling eponym.
1900:
Queen Victoria visits Ireland.
1912:
The latest White Star superliner Titanic calls in at
Queenstown (Cobh) before setting out on her maiden voyage across the
Atlantic Ocean.....
1914-1918:
Terrorist group Sinn Fein is supplied with weapons by Germany.
1916:
Republican rebels seize the Dublin Post office. British over-reaction
creates much resentment.
1922:
The 26 southern counties achieve independence as Southern Ireland or
the Irish Free State. The remaining six (of Ulster's nine) become
Northern Ireland, and stay in the United Kingdom. The new IFS flag is
orange, white and green, showing equal treatment of Protestants and
Catholics. During the rest of the century, 75% of its Protestants
leave.
1937:
Southern Ireland renamed Eire.
1939-45:
World War Two. Eire officially neutral. But not neutral enough to be
the first country to send comisserations to Germany when Adolf Hitler
commits suicide.
1949:
State calls itself the Republic of Ireland. And Eire.
1960s:
Civil rights protests in Northern Ireland. The 'Provisional IRA' is
founded, and will go on to kill over 3000 innocent people.
1998:
The Good Friday Agreement is signed. Terrorist groups on both sides
stop openly bombing, but continue their terror against people of
their own 'faith'. Eire officially gives up its illegal claim on
Northern Ireland, but has since hinted it wants to reinstate it.
---------------------------------
----------------------------------