SWEET FA

This page is devoted to all those who find the majority of FA decisions puzzling, inane or (most likely) both. To understand how this organization works, one must first grasp the UtterLackoOfJusticeOMeter that operates within it. It's all fairly simple (like the people who run it, really); when two clubs have a contention, the one with a higher ULOJOM score always wins. Trifling matters such as the justice of the lower club's case do not enter into it.

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Any well-supported clubs: + 5 points for each full 1,000 over 20,000 in average attendance figures, and a bonus +50 if over 50,000

The Big Four (Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool): +1000 points

All other Premiership clubs: +200 points

Championship clubs: +10 points

League One clubs: + 5 points

Non-league clubs: -500 points, then -30 points for each level below League 2, and an extra -100 if below Level 8

Clubs that were non-league at any time before 1986*: -250 points

Clubs that were non-league after 1986, then attained League membership: -100 points

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* The year the former Wimbledon F.C. reached the top flight just nine years after entering the Football League.