Starring: Pierce Brosnan & Linda Hamilton
Directed by: Roger Donaldson
DVD review *****
There's an dormant volcano that's gonna blow, a cutie pie 'lil town in its path and only one man that can stop it. But would you know it, no-one listens to volcanologist Brosnan except the town mayor (Hamilton) who is interested in fiddling with his seismograph. The rest of the town are more concerned about losing custom from industries balking at all the scare stories though, the money-grabbing fools.
Nothing new there then, but the first half of the movie ambles along quite happily otherwise. Then BOOM! The laughs come thick and fast from the moment the mountain blows its top, with the kids rescuing mad old grandma, the adults rescuing the mad kids and everyone rescuing the barking mad dog, inexplicably sat atop a nearby lava flow. Not a dry eye in the house.
It's lots of fun, and the effects are absolutely wonderful. It's a shame a bit more bite or knowing humour wasn't injected into the dialogue - it really could have been a top notch bit of nonsense.
And so Dante's Peak ultimately stays as another entry into the big budget disaster movie canon. Albeit masquerading as one of the bigger balls.
Das Boot: The Director's Cut ****
Starring Jurgen Prochnow
Directed by Wolfgang Petersen
DVD Review ***
This, the holy grail of submarine movies, was originally released in 1981 to international acclaim, making the domestic careers of almost the entire cast, and the international ones of its lead actor and director. In 1996 the movie was re-released in a greatly extended form, running at a buttock-numbing 3 hours 40 minutes.
It tells the true story of an extraordinary German U-Bout mission in 1941, desptched to play cat and mouse with the Allied fleet in the Atlantic. Almost the entire crew were barely out of diapers, and had to grow up fast when coming to terms with both the long stretches of tedium and breif but terryfying moments of action.
This version of the film skews the balance from the original, adding material shot for an original 6 hour mini-series. It focuses more on character, at the expense of being.. well, just a little too slow at times - I think there were at least one too many cramped eating scenes in the officer's mess. However, the numerous action sequences are stunning, especially with the all-important digital sound remix. The sound is as much a character in the film as the crew member, as every creak and groan from the hull and every gentle rhythmic sound of exterior propellors could spell upcoming disaster.
In truth, the original length suits a commercial audience better, but that doesn't mean the extended version isn't good stuff. Just make sure you see it somewhere with great sound, or you'll miss the most important character in it after Mr Prochnow.
Starring: Sylvester Stallone
Directed by: Rob Cohen
This is the first of a very large wave of full-on disaster movies crashing our way. Independence Day and Twister both came close to qualifying, but there's no mistaking this as the real deal: a crash ignites one of the world's top 5 explosions, inside a Big Apple road tunnel, trapping dysfunctional families, dogs and love interest in one fell swoop.
Before you can say "they're not gonna make it", ex emergency service chief and now 'umble cabbie Stallone is jumping through air conditioning blades to reach the motley crew. Does he have a plan to get them all out? Well, no actually, something the survivors are a tad miffed to discover But since lives - and more importantly the redemption of the central character - are at stake, everyone tries to keep their heads above water as the Hudson makes it's unwelcome prescence felt.
It's a claustrophobe's nightmare. The explosion near the start scores a ten on the "oooooooooh" scale, and from there on things get more harrowing by the minute. Amazingly, even with the almost insurmountable handicap of having a cute dog to look after, the script is really isn't as corny as you'd imagine, with only a few unintentional laughs to ease the gloom. You know what you're getting before the house lights go down and, given that, things really could be a whole lot worse.
Director Cohen creates a fine atmposhere, possibly due to his own nightmare experience trapped in a hotel fire. His unusal method of dealing with the trauma provides, for the rest of us, what will be nothing more than an entertaining no-brainer. Hopefully.
Starring: Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn
Directed by: Tim Robbins
DVD Review ***
Tim Robbins seems to attract trouble. Who in their right mind would want to go and see a two and a half hour film about a couple of inmates of Shawshank prison? Ah, but it was very good, though wasn't it? But really, another two hour plus true story of a convicted murderer on death row - and a nun - is a bit much.
Sister Helen Prejean (Sarandon) occasionally takes time off teaching poor children for a bit of light relief, and she apparently considers visiting an objectionable, nasty little murderer before his execution just the thing to lower the stress levels. Matthew Poncelet (Penn), together with a friend, murdered a young couple, having just raped the eighteen year old girl. Despite his actual role in the crime being up for debate, many people would agree with the parents of the victims - that he is a monster and deserves to die, but the Sister sees beyond the crime, and into the heart of a man in desperate need of love and a sense of responsibility for his atrocious actions. Inducing the haterd of many around her, she accepts his request to be his spiritual advisor of his last days, while the lawyers try to stay his execution.
The lovely Robbins/Sarandon couple are renowned left-wing political animals, so it comes as a major surprise to see both sides of the death penalty argument presented with equal, compelling force. This is definitely a movie designed to provoke thought and a reaction, and the fact it succeds in breaking through the audiences' expectations is testimony to an excellent screenplay from Robbins. Sarandon's Oscar winning performance is equally matched by Penn's highly believable nasty piece of work, and Robbin's flawless direction - save for a music soundtrack which occasionally gets a bit too world-music indulgent. But full marks too for portraying the Catholic nun as the most rational, darned likeable and complete character in the movie - possibly a first in modern film history.
Pretty much faultless, this will provoke differing reactions from all who see it - some find it depressing, yet this reviewer came out strangely uplifted. Whatever your take, it remains a film that makes a positive contribution to an ongoing debate as relevant now as ever. Without a trace of sarcasm, praise God for Uncle Tim and Auntie Susan.
Starring Robert Duvall, Tea Leoni, Elijah Wood and Morgan Freeman
Directed by Mimi Leder
The days of the 90s disaster movie are surely numbered - a glut of every conceivable terror has been unleashed upon us, the movie going public, culminating in two movies about the ultimate asteroid / earth collision. But those expecting effects strewn mayhem and Hollywood laughs are in for a shock, for Deep Impact is very, very, VERY boring.
The movie follows three separate plot strands concurrently. First is teenager Wood, who discovers a new bright star at a sky-watching party with an ordinary telescope. This, of course, turns out to be our friendly neighbourhood rock of doom, and a year later a cable news reporter (Leoni) accidentally stumbles on the kept-top-secret story. Before you know it, a bunch of pretty-boy astronauts join space program veteran Duvall in racing towards the rock, so they can blow it off course with some nukes.
It's these 1D characters, with their individual tedious stories, that sink the film, along with an incompetently structured script and sheer implausibility every step of the way. It is laughable that Wood would discover the comet - after that he serves the plot no purpose other than to weigh it down with his teenage marriage. Then there is our reporter, turned news anchor with a delivery so stilted she looks like a CG effect herself, hogging hours of screen time trying to be reconciled to her father. As for the astronauts, it's as if NASA has slapped half a dozen rednecks in a spaceship and told them to get on with it.
The unreality extends to the asteroid itself. What is it? A comet? A meteor? Certainly the movie has no idea. Comets have tails and are made of ice, meteors are rocks with no tails. This is a rock with a tail. Director Leder - so good on E.R and The Peacemaker, screws this up completely, with every moment ringing false, no pace and some very dodgy effects - particularly the weightless stuff. Mind you, the script from Ghost's Joel Rubin and The Player's Michael Tolkin must share even more of the blame.
By the end, a few really good effects make it all almost worth the wait. No, that's wrong - NOTHING could be worth wading through the rest of this for. And the biggest crime of all is that it's so dull, you haven't even the energy to laugh at it. With Deep Impact, Dreamworks are in Deep Sh*t.
Starring: Stephen Mackintosh, Rupert Graves & Saskia Reeves
Directed by: Richard Spence
Okay, I'll come clean - I'm really getting annoyed now. The British Film Industry is, as ever, teetering on the brink of commercial success and financial ruin. Of the dozens of films made each year now, around half never get distributed. But before you bemoan our lot and start going on about how awful Hollywood is, take a look at the risible Different For Girls - from BBC Films. Then ask yourself how bad the others must be.
Mackintosh and Graves are old schoolchums. Years later they literally bump into each other - Graves is a despatch rider, and Mackintosh a cab passenger. Graves recognises him, but this is despite the minor adjustment of Mackintosh having changed into a woman. The two fall in love.
Now, this could have worked, but not from a script so unspeakably dire from TV-drama scribe Tony Marchant. The dialogue is cringe-worthy and the plotting and characterisation absolutely monsterous. The cast - particularly Mackintosh - try their damndest to make it all work, but it's all for nothing.
So the question is... what do script-editors actually do? How was celluloid ever let near this shambles without someone saying "umm, chaps"? It is a salutary reminder that gems like The Full Monty are far from the norm in our industry. And until we get a few more scriptwriters with Simon Beaufoy's talent, things are gonna stay that way.
Die Hard With a Vengeance ****
Starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L Jackson and Jeremy Irons
Directed by John McTiernan
John McClane is having a very bad day. Again. A sort of Kate Adie with bigger muscles, the New York cop attracts bombs, bullets and bangs in truly frightening style, and this time has more than a mere skyscraper or international airport hostage to deal with.
Something's rotten in the Big Apple - Simple Simon (Irons) is a mad terrorist who says that only McClane (Willis) can appease his moral outrage at life by playing games, and thus stop his senseless bombing campaign that has the city gripped with fear. Thus; the vested one is dropped in downtown Harlem wearing a breadboard designed to raise the eyebrows and blood pressure of the black residents, with only racist-but-intelligent store-keeper (Jackson) between him and a sidewalk redecoration scheme. Soon they employ every mode of transport available in order to reach each scene before "it" happens again, until they somehow have to check every school in the city in two hours before the delightful Simon raises educational standards to new heights.
It is, quite literally, a blast, which is as exciting as it is preposterous. Director McTiernan (also top man of the original classic Die Hard) wisely avoids the pitfall of cringingly contrived repetition which made the second movie such a dismal experience, and keeps the pace fast and furious - on one suspicious occasion too fast, as if some scenes had been removed to reduce the running time. Although the plot is far fetched in the extreme, disbelief is effectively suspended, and Willis and Jackson make an entertaining double act, featuring a post-Pulp Fiction Mr Demi Moore mercifully free of that smug "I'm smarter than everyone else" facial grimace. Jeremy Irons sports a splendid Djarman acczent and hams it up nicely, and the action set pieces all deliver the goods.
This may upset die hard Die Harders by changing the house style away from claustrophobic tension - the script was originally slated to be a Lethal Weopan - but at least this entertaining rollercoaster ride doesn't let up long enough for you to care. A very bad day - a very nice two hours, thank you.
Starring: Eddie Murphy, Ossie Davies & Oliver Platt
Directed by: Betty Thomas
Looked at first glance, this seems to represent all that has gone wrong with Eddie Murphy's career. A remake of a kiddie comedy about talking animals, I ask you. Pur - and very much so - lease. But cock your head sideways (dog style) for a moment. Here's a clue. "Directed by Betty Thomas" it boasts, of Private Parts and The Brady Bunch Movie. Got it yet? Alright, I'll spell it out - just as they were both enormously pleasant enormous surprises, so is this.
Reworking Hugh Lofting's classic old children's tale, this plumps Dolittle straight into the world of corporate America. He works as a regular doctor whose practice is on the cusp of being taken over for a handsome $4m ("How much?! Negotiate!" flaps Eddie's agent). But the deal is threatened when Dolittle one day almost runs down a dog who, not unreasonably, calls him a jackass. Suddenly he can hear every wise-cracking thing any animal says, and his sanity, practice and windfall hang precariously in the balance.
If things drag a little up to the talking animal stuff, they rip into life the moment we get there. While Babe's humour was gentle and charming, this is full-on hip, raucous and acerbic. That could have become annoying, but the combination of ace vocal talents and some stunning exchanges of dialogue give an audience no chance - this is gut-achingly funny in places. Chris Tucker's voice, so irksome in the Fifth Element, finds its natural home here in, of all places, a guinea pig, and Lucky the mongrel dog provides the main lovable comic sidekick. Murphy, meanwhile, is pleasingly subdued, enjoying a world-weary rapport with the sick zoo that comes to occupy his home.
The movie sadly doesn't sustain it's momentum even over the brief 85mins, and can't resist letting a few sugary homilies from numbing the bite. If this part is targeted at young children, it sits ill with some of the strong language elsewhere, so parents beware. It's older kids and adults at whom this is most appropriately targeted, throwing in a lethal cocktail of double - and single - entendres, sharp observation and modern-day film references. These good folks may even spare a thought for the highly talented Thomas and her highly talented crew, knowing just what a pig of a film (ha!) this must have been to make. And all I will say to you movie lovers is, when Murphy enters the dog pound, brace yourself.
All reviews / articles copyright Guy Rowland (1998).