(to be sung to the tune of Four Drunken Maidens)
1)
There were four Rumford Morris Men
All born in fifty three.
Not only are they older
But they're uglier than me.
That's uglier than me my boys
And this is what I think-
That, when I'm finished singing,
They should buy us all a drink.
2)
Now Tony is the youngest
Of these four musketeers
And that means he's the quickest one
At getting in the beers.
At getting in the beers my boys
And this is what I think-
That, when I'm finished, Tony
Ought to buy us all a drink.
3)
Now Plod he likes his beer the best,
That's bitter, mild or stout,
And when he's had a pint or two
He gets his Willy out,
He gets his Willy out my boys
And this is what I think-
Now we've all seen his Willy
He should buy us all a drink.
4)
When Colin plays his music
He has to push and pull.
Don't ask me how he plays and drinks
When both his hands are full.
When both his hands are full my boys,
Well this is what I think-
That when he puts his bellows down
He'll buy us all a drink.
5)
Paul Smith, now he's the craftiest
With all this 50's jive.
I've seen his birth certificate,
It makes him sixty five!
Itmakes him sixty five my boys
And this is what I think-
His secret's nearly out unless
He buys us all a drink.
6)
So these four Rumford Morris Men
Have danced from coast to coast,
You have to take your hat off
And drink to them a toast.
I'll drink to them a toast my boys
And this is what I think -
That when I'm finished singing
I should buy them all a drink!
John Clackan 2003