SOME JOKES AND A CARTOON, MAINLY ABOUT ACCORDIONS:
What's the difference between an onion and an accordion. No-one cries if you slice an accordion.
A man left his accordion on the back seat of his car and went for a drink. When he came out someone has broken the back window and thrown in two more.
What's the best pitch for an accordion. Into the nearest skip.
A man was talking to his friend. He said 'I went into this pub and said to the barman - do you want to hear a joke about an accordionist? The barman said - be careful for I am an accordionist, you see the huge man over there with the broken nose - he's an accordionist, and you see the guy chewing nails in the corner - he's an accordionist'. His friend said 'Did you tell the joke?'. The man replied 'No. I didn't want to have to explain it three times.
How do you tell if a fiddler is playing out of tune. His bow is moving.
........ supplied by Mark Lenihan
supplied by Doug Iles