The illegal Greek regime of Southern Cyprus is entering into a totally unjustified arms stockpile frenzy, under the comical pretence of “self defence”. On 21 March 1996 the Greek Cypriot pseudo governments’ Minister of Defence met with their Russian counter parts and signed an agreement for military co-operation between the two countries. The new agreement will mean more tanks, guns and missiles imported into the southern Greek held areas of the island, which is already overflowing with armoury jostling for space with each other. Despite the Greek shopping spree in the Russian chain store Tank-U-Like, the Turkish Cypriot Prime Minister , yet again, called up on the Greek Cypriot leaders to return to the negotiating table, but the Greeks could offer only their time honoured and traditional symbol of goodwill the smoking ‘Peace Bazooka’. "PITY WE KILLED HIM- HE'D COME IN USEFUL JUST KNOW TO PROTECT US FROM THE TURKS..."Fortunately for the Generals there are still many British Servicemen’s families in Cyprus just waiting for the EOKA terrorists to kill them. On 1 April this year the Greek Generals Vorvolakos and Oksinos (catchy names! there could be another Ron and Stimpy show or an Aubergine and Courgette dish in the making here ,unless the whole thing was an April Fool’s gag), told the masses gathered to celebrate EOKA day that next year they would hold their festivities in Kyrenia and Famagusta (will they never learn?).

In the recent past, probably due to observing the ineffectual responses of the world powers to the massacre of Bosnian Muslims, the Greeks planned to effect a night attack on the Turkish Cypriot people of the North, kill as many people as they can and capture as much land as possible. And before the International community can replenish their glasses of mineral water and Gin and pass a resolution or two to stop an escalation, the Greeks will have come out victorious (followed by a quick virginal sacrifice to Zeus and Cecil B. DeMille). The new “Defence Doctrine” partnership between fundamentalist, Orthodox Russians and the Greek pseudo government and their military fat boys have become so intoxicated on sniffing their own rifle muzzles, that they hatched a fantastic “plan” which would be the envy of Hollywood. The Greek Commandants proposed to send commandos into North Cyprus, kidnap President Denktash and take him for trial and execution in Greece (Walt Disney eat your heart out). Whatever the out come of this loony “plan” might be, Harrison Ford has refused flat, to play Clerides in the film. The expansionist ambitions of Greece have not helped the Greek Cypriots to look for a peaceful solution to the Cyprus situation (if the present situation is not viewed as peaceful that is). Greece is ready and willing to kill Greek Cypriots as well as Turkish if they do not conform to the ‘Megali Idea’ (the reincarnation of the Byzantine Empire). This was the case in 1974 preceding the Turkish intervention, when the fascist Greek Generals and their men, under the command of the notorious butcher of British and Turkish civilians, Nicos Sampson, staged a violent soup. Troops loyal to Makarios fought (alas in vain) to prevent the fascist take-over. Hundreds were killed. Later the dead, wounded and the captured were buried, some still alive, in unmarked graves. Those missing men have been used as pawns in the Greek propaganda campaign as ‘Missing Persons’, claiming that they were captured and eliminated by the Turkish army. the most common pattern which seems to occur over and over again, is sabre rattling and calls to battle whenever some progress is made towards a solution to the Cyprus situation - but something beneficial to the Turkish Cypriots is suggested. Immediately the Greek Cypriots make disruptive noises, stage demonstrations and orchestrate violent border incidents. in effect they are telling the International community that if the Turkish people are given any support without the consent of the Greeks, they will escalate the conflict to more bloody proportions. Russia is another kettle of cheap caviar. A permanent member of the UN Security council signs arms deals with the Greek administration, then wants to be involved in solving the conflict. Isn’t it like rushing to a fire with a petrol tanker? The Russians are not the first ones to get their fluids wrong. France, another UN Security Council member, has been selling arms to the Greek administration for years, she too is involved in the conflict solution game.

PETROL: Flammable, Hot, Burns Fingers = Bad.

WATER: Compound oxygen and hydrogen, cool, wet and sustainer of all life = Good.

Next time there is a conflict situation check the refrigerator first. The Turkish Cypriots did and still do, because they wish to continue to live in their country in peace and security as they have done for 23 years. If that means with the continued protection and guarantee of Motherland Turkey, and an island divided to maintain the peace, then they wholeheartedly accept.