In an interesting comic move Rob put the original "Scotty" piece through the English/French translator and then back from French to English. The result is far funnier than the original and also explains much about Britain's antagonism to the European Union.

The teachings of Scotty

Many people look on Scotty as a little a young man, haunted with football, drinking and the women. It is not true. He is deep and the pensive man who is words inspires much. Its feelers are numerous and description " worship " is often whisper because it passes near. (at least is which what it thought them indicated). One could spend a life listening to Scotty without really including/understanding it. It has the layer after layer - as an onion. And like an onion, because you peel far the layers you find more onion; exactly the same ones exclude a little smaller. It smells a bit oniony too. Nevertheless, written below are several of the lesson of Scotty.

Scotty justifies his feelers: "the foutus young men of hell, we were shit! I know that we gain but we play the shit. Hell fucking."

Scotty on the inscription: "he was not my man!"

Scotty on women: "this bird was well the last night. Obtained me to them brown wings"

Scotty on referees: "it was a reference of shit."

Scotty on shows of massage: "ouais the woman was really adapted. I said to him that I needed the massage because of football, like. She really liked me. So much so that we, know you, made the deals. Tiffany and it of its name indicated which was its true name as well. It was a bit more that they said that it would cost."

Scotty on sucking glass on your face: " Gmgh! Gmgh! "

Scotty on the account: "I was sure that I marked six. I know we gained the five-two but I was sure that I obtained six"

Scotty on the going beyond: (among cries repeated of 'passage, Scotty, pass' followed of a projectile in the shins of the defender) " where was the cry fucking, young men? "

Scotty on showers: " then I to borrow your soap, Rick? "

Scotty on being substituted: "I think that I would seek better behind in mean function"

Scotty on his level of physical form of teammates: "thin to look at a bit knackered."

Scotty on meeting under "B" with the carpark "B": "The afflicted young men, I was under different 'B'. " - but there is not another 'B' Scotty - "well, by just kissing fuck.off then"

Scotty on sleeping during weeks with ventilated Chris, socks gangrenous secretly hidden in its case of pillow: "I then not to sleep because of the strange odor of soft biscuits"