STUFF. Sep 1998. Pet Fish
Buying fish is easy once they're dead. But
if you want the little critters alive in your own aquarium, it's
a different ball game. First you have to decide what type of fish
you want to keep: Pondfish, Indoor Coldwater, Tropical Freshwater
or Marine. Then you have to find or build and kit out the tank
or pond to keep the fish happy and, hence, alive. On the stress
scale, your average tropical fish is up there with GPs and dentists.
"Choosing the fish is important" says our expert Kieran
Bates of Morden Waterworld, "but buying the right size tank,
installing a proper filtration system and getting the heating
and water quality right is even more so, to keep the fish in good
condition."
With Kieran's help, we've put together our Top 10 pet fish. If
you don't like any of these, remember there are a few thousand
more to choose from.
1
STUFF BEST BUY
Neon Tetra
Tropical Freshwater
£1.25
It may be small, at just 1.5-inch long, but the Neon Tetra is
perfectly formed. It's a hardy, colourful little fish, which is
virtually indestructible, so long as you don't put it in a tank
with fish that will grow bigger than it does, in which case, it
ceases to be indestructible and becomes dinner.
The Neon Tetra belongs to the Characin group of tropical freshwater
fishes and is a shoaler, so it will be at its happiest if you
buy another 5 or 6 to keep it company.
Kieran's View: "The ideal starter fish. It looks good, mixes
easily and gives you no hassle at all. Perfect.
2
Catfish
Tropical Freshwater
£3.50 upwards
There are over 2,000 species to choose from, but we like the Upside
Down Catfish, which swims upside down, and the rare but hard African
Electric Catfish, which can emit a 200 volt electric shock, which
it uses to stun prey or to provide emergency lighting during power
cuts.
Kieran's View: "There's a catfish for every tank. The Electric
Catfish is hard work. Corydoras is much less hassle."
* * * * *
3
Koi carp
Pond Fish
£10-Unlimited
The beautiful, graceful Koi carp is the playboy's fish. While
you can buy them small and young for around £10 each, any
named 30-inch Japanese variety will set you back £500 or
more and rare breeds can go for hundreds of thousands. Gorgeous.
Kieran's View: "A great fish, but you need a large pond,
2,500 gallons or so, at least 3ft. deep, with big pumps and good
filtration."
* * * * *
4
Porcupine Puffer
Marine
£42.50
More intelligent than the average fish, this one makes a great
pet. It's happiest on its own or in a large "community"
tank with other fish. It's party piece is to inhale a load of
air and blow itself up into a ball when threatened. Neat trick.
Kieran's View: "One for the ladies, they love this sort of
stuff. My girlfriend's been after one for ages."
* * * *
5
Goldfish
Tropical Freshwater
The common-or-garden goldfish finishes a surprisingly high 5th
in recognition of its supreme ease of maintenance and the fact
that you can get some weird and wacky strains these days.
Kieran's View: "An ideal beginner's fish, but it needs a
tank and tender loving care like any other. Some of the mutations
can be prone to health problems."
* * * *
6
Platy
Tropical Freshwater
£1
Perfect for kids who want to breed fish as it's a "livebearer",
which means it gives birth to tiny living baby Platies rather
than eggs. There are tons of different coloured Platies but they
will all live happily together.
Kieran's View: A very versatile fish, pretty hardy and nice and
colourful.
* * * *
7
Lake Malawi Cichlid
Tropical Freshwater
£2.50
Cichlids are among the most popular fish in the world and the
Lake Malawi Cychlids are some of the most beautiful, with a variety
of colours and none of the problems associated with the Oscar.
This is another popular cychlid, which is great when young, but
can be unmanageably big when mature.
Kieran's View: A lovely fish and easy to breed. Pack the tank
(safely) full to stop them forming territories.
* * *
8
Red Tailed Black Shark
Tropical Freshwater
£2.50
The RTB Shark looks stunning, but at 5in. long, it's hardly Jaws
3. It swims like a shark, however, and will happily bully other
fish, shredding fins, nicking their bus fare, that sort of stuff,
so only mix it with other fish that can look after themselves.
Kieran's View: "No real problem to look after, but can be
nocturnal, so you might not see much of it during the day."
* * *
9
Siamese Fighting Fish
Tropical Freshwater
£3.50
Unlike the West Bromley fighting haddock invented by Terry Jones
and Michael Palin, this one's for real. When two of these get
angry they waggle their tails, then have a fight till one dies
or retires. Even courtship involves "rubbing, blows and circling
movements" according to one reference book.
Kieran's View: "Only keep one male per tank and keep it peaceful.
They're not happy with other fish that can nip their fins."
* * *
10
Lipstick tang
Marine
£35
Kieran wanted to ditch the Lipstick tang in favour of a more sensible
Clownfish (which is a surreal thought), but we kept it in for
its sheer silliness. Its lips are bright orange and permanently
puckered up, as if it's desperate for a like-minded fish to swim
up and plant a smacker on it. Mad.
Kieran's View: "Beautiful, but can be temperamental. Water
quality is crucial."
* *
<Box Copy>
Buying Pet Fish
There's more to buying fish than legging it down to your nearest
aquarium and asking for a 50 quid lucky dip. Different fish are
comfortable in different living environments. And in their world,
being uncomfortable can mean being dead, so it's worth doing a
bit of research first.
Marine fish, for example, need salty water, others can't live
in it. Some fish like plants, others rocks, others wide open spaces.
Some fish get on fine in communities, while others adhere to Woody
Allen's paraphrase of the bible: "The lamb and the lion shall
lie down together, but the lamb won't get much sleep."
And if you're keeping coldwater fish in a pond in the back garden,
even if they'll happily swim and play cards with each other all
day, there's nothing to say the local heron won't enjoy a fish
supper when you're not looking. For a fishkeeper, there are few
sights worse than a 200 quid Koi taking its first and last flying
lesson.
Aquarium staff should be able to offer advice on the equipment
you need for the type of fish you wish to keep. Some, though,
will happily sell you incompatible combinations of fish to get
your money.
When you're in the store, have a good look at the fish you're
interested in. Check for healthy colouration and never buy from
a tank with dead or diseased fish in it. Transport the fish home
in darkness in a brown paper bag to keep them inactive and bag
adults over 3 inches long separately to prevent piscine fisticuffs
en route.
There are several fishkeeping magazines in the newsagents, and
some good reference books too. We were impressed by Mary Bailey
and Gina Sandford's "The Ultimate Aquarium" (£16.95,
Lorenz Books) and the Interpet guides (around £6, publisher
Interpet).
Morden Waterworld
Morden Waterworld has around 750 species of fish and expert staff
on hand to offer advice and guidance. They also do all the accessories
you need, and as you'll soon discover, there are more gadgets,
gismos and consumables on offer than in most other hobbies.
Contact Morden Waterworld on 0181-646 1066, or visit them at Morden
Hall Road, Surrey SM4 5JG.