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POSITIVE COPERS
PHYSICAL
RELAXATION - this is the number one stress reduction strategy for beginners. Relaxation is the opposite of stress. You cannot be stressed and relaxed at the same time. The problem is that many people think they're relaxed when they are not. Don't forget that relaxation is a quite specific state of being that we will talk about later on. Relaxation is best carried out with biofeedback that enables you to be sure you are attaining the criteria required. Having said that if you didn't get stressed in the first place you wouldn't need to relax. However many stress related disorders can be a learned habit pattern that occurs without the stressor (dysponesis). Here relaxation is essential to unlearn the habit.
BIOFEEDBACK - enables you to be sure you are relaxing to the specific criteria needed to remove your stress problem. Best done with muscle and peripheral temperature feedback with the help of a trained therapist.
EXERCISE - acts as a diversion which can reduce the stress response for a short while. In my opinion it is best carried out in the fresh air. Can become addictive and cause further problems. Most sick people do not exercise. Once you are well, using other techniques, exercise will improve your health and hardiness (ability to ward of illness). See "Out and About".
NOURISHMENT - Doesn't deal with stress directly but remember you can't live without nourishment suitable for your way of life and activities. In general try and eat fresh food. A little bit of everything and not to much of anything is probably the best advise. However I realise that these edicts are easy to say and maybe not so easy to carry out especially if you have limited time/financial resources. I recently learned that it may be wise to stay off of anything with 'Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil' or 'Fructose' in it. It appears to me that this may be especially true if there are lots of problems in your life, you've got yourself physically unfit and particularly as you get older.
SELF-CARE - Helps you to feel and look better so improves self image, but it does not deal with stress.
STRETCHING - can reduce stress and tension in the muscles but little else with regard to stress. Will improve suppleness.
MENTAL
IMAGINATION (and visualisation) - One of the key components of 'Cognitive Restructuring'. Together with relaxation, assertion, and self-talk scripts can be used to rehearse and reprogram your behaviours, especially in stress producing situations. See TOW Unit 3 for my courses with regard to this. Imagination and Visualisation is useful in all sorts of situations if trying to advance spiritually. Gill Edwards' tapes and books are a good starting point for this. My TOW courses especially units 8 - 12 are fairly extensive for a whole range of these topics.
LIFE PLANNING - Set Clear Goals, Plan for the future. These can be quite important providing you don't go overboard with them. Some say that life planning and goal setting is what humans do while 'God and the Angels' look on and smile to themselves.
ORGANISING - Take charge, make order, don't let things pile up. Can be useful in reducing the number of stressors. "Derek," my students say, "you must get organised." However I think there is nothing more stressful than someone who is over-organised especially when they try and organise you as well.
PROBLEM SOLVING - Solve it yourself, seek outside help, tackle problems head on, develop an automatic problem solving way of life. TOW unit 3 is specifically geared to cover this and I consider problem solving one of the key elements of Stress Management. However one needs to bear in mind that some problems may not have solutions or may not have a solution at the current time. In this case you need to accept that and move on. TOW unit 3 covers all elements of this.
RELABELING - Change perspectives, look for good in bad situations, change to rational, positive thinking. This is another of the keys to Stress Management. In my classes (TOW unit 3) I tend to use Rational Emotive Behaviour Training but any cognitive techniques are useful.
TIME MANAGEMENT - Focus on top priorities, work smarter not harder. As with 'Organising' this can be useful in reducing stressors providing you don't go overboard with it. Inflexible time-management can be extremely stress provoking.
FAMILY
BALANCING - Balance time at work and home, accept good with the bad.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION - Look for win/win situations, forgive readily.
ESTEEM BUILDING - Build good family feelings, focus on personal strengths.
FLEXIBILITY - Take on new family roles, stay open to change.
NETWORKING - develop friendships with other families, make use of community resources.
TOGETHERNESS - Take time to be together, build family traditions, express affection.
We know that the family and relationships can be a tremendous source of stress, however we also know that it can be our salvation. Having a family or other network around us to share our problems and enable us to give and receive love has been shown to reduce stress related disorders and especially heart disease. The above are all worth working on and we do this in various parts of the TOW course.
INTERPERSONAL
AFFIRMATION - Believe in yourself, trust others, give compliments.
ASSERTIVENESS - State your needs and wants, say no respectfully. Another of the key strategies for reducing stress both in your's and other's lives. Many people think they are being assertive and are actually being aggressive. Come to a class and learn how to so it properly.
CONTACT - Make new friends, touch, really listen to others.
EXPRESSION - Show feelings, share feelings (preferably positive feelings).
LIMITS - Accept other's boundaries, drop some involvement.
LINKING - Share problems with others, ask for support from family and friends.
All of the above are important with regard to making and keeping positive relationships and thus reduce our stressors and stress.
DIVERSIONS
GETAWAYS - Spend time alone, see a movie, daydream, go on holiday, take a break.
HOBBIES - Write, paint, remodel, create something.
LEARNING - Take a class, read, join a club.
MUSIC - Play an instrument, sing, listen to the stereo.
PLAY - Play a game, go out with friends.
WORK - Tackle a new project, keep busy, volunteer.
All the above will only give you a brief respite from your stressors and are only affective in that respect if you are able to forget them (i.e. your stressors and stress) for a bit.
SPIRITUAL
COMMITMENT - Take up a worthy cause, say yes, invest yourself meaningfully.
FAITH - Find purpose and meaning in your life.
PRAYER - Confess, ask forgiveness, pray for others, give thanks.
SURRENDER - Let go of problems, learn to live with the situation and grow from it.
VALUING - Set priorities, be consistent, spend time and energy wisely.
WORSHIP - Share beliefs with others, put faith into action.
All the spiritual ones do not necessarily mean joining a church or religion. However you do it, this can be an important part of giving meaning to your life and reducing stressors and stress.
On the next page we will look at one of the better lists of more general 'Stress Coping Suggestions' that I have seen. Click here to move on.
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