First Of All, Wheelchairs!!
I am a wheelchair user, although I would prefer not to be I am, that's life shit happens. I have come to terms with being in a wheelchair but why is that when I am in my chair and out and about that am I treated like some kind of alien? I am not one of these 'scroungers' who are using a wheelchair (or motorised scooter) to claim benefits or are just too bloody lazy I am forced to use a wheelchair. Not everybody is this way towards wheelchair users but the majority of people especially in the UK are, here is a little guide aimed at being more wheelchair friendly.
How to Interact with a Person Who Uses a Wheelchair
People become wheelchair users for many and varied reasons. No one chooses it, but realise that the wheelchair will allow them both the mobility and the ability to live a productive and happy life. If you're interacting with a wheelchair user for the first time, it can be difficult to know how to act. You don't want to cross any boundaries or accidentally offend someone, but at the same time you want to be helpful and understanding. Here's how to find a good balance.
1. Greet a wheelchair user the same as you would anyone. Extend your hand, even if they have limited use of their hands or an artificial limb. Generally, it's appropriate to offer to shake hands regardless of their condition.
2. Speak directly to the person who uses the wheelchair. If someone is accompanying that person (pushing the wheelchair, for example), do not talk to this companion about the person in the wheelchair - for example, "Will he/she be needing help with..?" to figure out how to help. That is incredibly rude and implies that the person using the wheelchair is not able to answer on his/her own. Always address him or her directly and respectfully. When you find that you are going to continue the conversation for a bit longer than you had thought, suggest you go somewhere where you can take a seat. If you can't relocate to seating area, then stand a few feet away, so that the person does not have to lift their head to look at you.
o Don't feel shy about using expressions like "running along" or "let's go for a walk". The phrases are figurative, not literal, and a wheelchair user understands that. It can be more uncomfortable if you blunder the conversation to avoid such phrases, because it shows that the wheelchair user's condition is on your mind.
3. Keep your observations to yourself. Comments like "Oh, that zooms so fast!" or "Look out, there is a speed camera in that hall" or "I didn't see you - does that have indicators?" are patronising and belittling, only serving to make a mobility impaired person more not less 'different'. Don't notice the wheelchair unless you have a valid, direct question or comment. Would you make comments about speed if you were talking about someone's legs? Do you feel the need to comment on someone's glasses? See the wheelchair the same way as you see someone's glasses - a sometimes irritating but nonetheless useful tool for doing what you want and need to do, and something that is no one's business but the person using it.
4. Do not pat or touch the wheelchair user (or the wheelchair) unless you have their permission. Because they are 'down low' at the height of children, people seem to instinctively pat, touch or tap and for anyone with spinal or back problems, this may be painful; in addition, it is a gesture that can feel patronising. The same goes for leaning on or touching the wheelchair itself.
5. Avoid presumptions about a person's physical abilities. You don't know what this person's physical abilities are. Just because someone is in a wheelchair it does not mean that they are paralyzed or that they are incapable of taking a few steps. Some people only use a wheelchair because they cannot stand too long, or have a walking restriction problem. Many times, people who never use nor need a wheelchair rent them because too long a walk is extremely tiring, or they have a heart condition. Even if someone is paralyzed, that does not necessarily mean they are completely numb. Do not test whether a person is genuinely paralyzed. If you see a person in a wheelchair moving their legs or stand up, do not question their ability or disability, and try not to act surprised.
6. Offer to help when appropriate. Knowing when to offer a helping hand can be tricky. Remember that because a person uses a wheelchair, this does not necessarily mean that he or she is in need of assistance. Usually he or she will prefer to remain independent, and is proud of the fact that he or she has learned to adapt well enough to remain so. If you see a situation where they could use your help, ask. Whatever you do, don't move the wheelchair without permission. Even if they're not using the wheelchair, moving it out of their reach without consulting them first is not a good idea.
7. Be prepared to hear "no". Since many wheelchair users may have been treated condescendingly by strangers in the past, some might seem stand-offish or rude when you offer your assistance. Don't let a rude come-back to your offer of help keep you from offering help to the next person you encounter. Don't pass by a person you can see is struggling just to avoid your offer of help being denied.
8. Learn the location of "accessible" ramps. Look for them in restrooms, elevators and telephones in a mall, in case you are asked or are giving directions. Never just assume, though, that a person in a wheelchair is not capable of finding out these locations by himself or herself. They know how to use a mall directory as well as you do. But, don't assume that overcoming stairs is the only concern a mobility impaired person will have; having to go 100 metres to avoid 3 stairs is often much more of a problem than navigating the 3 stairs (it's not easy propelling a wheelchair, manoeuvring a wheelchair past obstacles like people who stand and talk in the middle of a corridor, or walking on crutches). Ask "What's the easiest way for you to do this?" Listen to and follow their instructions carefully.
9. Respect them even when you're not interacting with them. Don't be one of those people who makes life difficult for wheelchair users. You don't want to meet someone in a wheelchair while you're sitting in a handicapped seat or while your car is in a handicapped spot. The more you make it a habit to be cognizant of wheelchair users in everyday life, the more comfortable you'll be when you're face to face with someone who happens to use a wheelchair.
10. Try to be aware of the environment, even if you don't think a person with a disability is in your area. Don't use the accessible toilets as a broom closet, don't put things in the middle of the hall or aisle, and don't use or obstruct handicapped parking spots.
11. When shopping, be aware of scooter/wheelchair users - try to keep to one side or the other of an aisle, keep your children or companion(s) from walking alongside you abreast forming a wall, and try to not stop short, take a sudden turn or suddenly go backwards. Share the aisle, walk as you would drive, and be aware that wheelchair users don't have brakes and don't like being forced to say things like: "Pardon, can I get past?"
Last Updated:
19th November 2007