No Excuse Sunday

To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, we are going to have a special NO EXCUSE SUNDAY

BEDS will be provided for those who say Sunday is the only day they can have a LIE-IN.

We will have STEEL HELMETS for those who say the roof will fall in if they ever go to church.

BLANKETS and HOT WATER BOTTLES will be provided for those who say it is TOO COLD- and FANS for those who say it is too HOT.

We will have HEARING AIDS for those who say the Minister speaks TOO SOFTLY and cotton wool for those who say he speaks TOO LOUDLY.

Some RELATIVES will be provided for those who like to go visiting relatives on Sunday

There will be TV DINNERS for those who can't possibly come because they have lunch to prepare.

One section of the grounds will be devoted to trees and shrubs  for those who prefer to see GOD IN NATURE.

CAR WASHES will be provided for those who always WASH THE CAR on Sunday.

There will be LAUNDERETTE for those who always wash on Sunday and for those who always work in the GARDEN, plenty of jobs will be provided in the church grounds.

Finally, the church and the communion table will be decorated with holly and EASTER LILIES for those who have never seen the church without them.