Monkeys

MISCONCEPTION OF MONKEYS

A friend recently asked me if it was true that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters if locked in a room for infinity would write the complete works of Shakespeare. I replied that he had too much infinity. (There is no correct plural of infinity for obvious reasons).

Back to the point. He had too much infinity because one monkey with one typewriter if left alone for infinity would eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare. (assuming it lived forever and had a continuous supply of ink and paper) Or an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters one of them would instantly start writing the complete works of Shakespeare and would finish in a while depending on its typing speed, motivation and ability to reload the paper.

And also its ability to learn that when it hears the ding to push the inkhead back to the left of the page. And I suppose the probability that the monkey that was going to type the complete works of Shakespeare was one of the ones that popped up on the surface of a habitable planet and not in the void of space, or too far above the surface that the fall would kill it. and far enough away from any natural predators on the planet that it can type in peace without being eaten, but close enough to a fruit tree that it doesn't starve, and hopefully not just beside a lady monkey that would distract it (Or perhaps hopefully just beside a lady monkey if Shakespeare in love is to be believed). Anyway it is possible.

I am fully aware that both arguments are simplified but they prove a point of sorts that the "Respectable Scientists" if offered an infinite number of monkeys for infinity would squander them on solving some silly argument, rather than using them for sensible endeavours.

My second point of course is that the casual discussion of an infinite number of monkeys (with or without typewriters) sends shivers down my spine. Because, forget about Shakespeare, an infinite number of monkeys is the greatest threat our universe has ever faced. Despite our "Respectable Scientists" so called "Credentials" they appear to have skipped Math 101a! An infinite number of monkeys in our finite universe means huge over population even though many of them would be dead and floating in space.

If faced with the onset of infinite monkeys the only sensible course of action is to use the monkeys that have already arrived on Earth, in the forests, as a cheap labour force to construct an interstellar fleet. Which would of course be required to systematically wipe out the rest of the monkeys and their damn typewriters.

The nail in the coffin is that the complete works of Shakespeare already exist in shops, we don't need the damn monkeys to type it again, that's what printing presses are for.


		Saturday, 27 April, 2002
		MISCONCEPTION OF MONKEYS A friend recently asked me if it was true that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters if locked in a room for infinity would write the complete works of Shakespeare. I replied that he had too much infinity. (There is no correct plural of infinity for obvious reasons). Back to the point. He had too much infinity because one monkey with one typewriter if left alone for infinity would eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare. (assuming it lived forever and had a continuous supply of ink and paper) Or an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters one of them would instantly start writing the complete works of Shakespeare and would finish in a while depending on its typing speed, motivation and ability to reload the paper. And also its ability to learn that when it hears the ding to push the inkhead back to the left of the page. And I suppose the probability that the monkey that was going to type the complete works of Shakespeare was one of the ones that popped up on the surface of a habitable planet and not in the void of space, or too far above the surface that the fall would kill it. and far enough away from any natural predators on the planet that it can type in peace without being eaten, but close enough to a fruit tree that it doesn't starve, and hopefully not just beside a lady monkey that would distract it (Or perhaps hopefully just beside a lady monkey if Shakespeare in love is to be believed). Anyway it is possible. I am fully aware that both arguments are simplified but they prove a point of sorts that the "Respectable Scientists" if offered an infinite number of monkeys for infinity would squander them on solving some silly argument, rather than using them for sensible endeavours. My second point of course is that the casual discussion of an infinite number of monkeys (with or without typewriters) sends shivers down my spine. Because, forget about Shakespeare, an infinite number of monkeys is the greatest threat our universe has ever faced. Despite our "Respectable Scientists" so called "Credentials" they appear to have skipped Math 101a! An infinite number of monkeys in our finite universe means huge over population even though many of them would be dead and floating in space. If faced with the onset of infinite monkeys the only sensible course of action is to use the monkeys that have already arrived on Earth, in the forests, as a cheap labour force to construct an interstellar fleet. Which would of course be required to systematically wipe out the rest of the monkeys and their damn typewriters. The nail in the coffin is that the complete works of Shakespeare already exist in shops, we don't need the damn monkeys to type it again, that's what printing presses are for.	Hello, I'm bagmonkey welcome to my world... the Complete Works of Shakespeare... I will type them.