E-mail:			Here christiandivorce.info teaches:- When we become Christians, we are required to put obedience to God first, above our family and our marriages. Marital unions echo the relationship of Master and servants. We are either servants of sin or servants of God. We don't know if our unbelieving partners will ever be saved, and we can't act as if we do. We should aim to follow God, to live at peace with others, and not to drive an unbelieving partner away. When we become a Christian, but our marriage partner doesn't, they may leave and the marriage will be over.   Artwork provided courtesy of artist, James Theopistos and BibleVerseArt.com If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us.

Many Christians would be utterly shocked if they read Exodus 21 v 4. Not only does it refer to the concept of slavery in God's law, but it says that if a servant is given a wife by his master, and his period of service comes to an end, that if he leaves his master, as he is entitled to do, that he has to leave his wife also, because she belongs to his master. And to make it worse, this is the first reference in any Biblical law to marriages coming to an end.

This seems to transport us into another world, but can easily be avoided because slavery is generally a thing of the past. But there are a few important points worth noting:-

1. Biblical slavery is different from the modern conception. Sometime it was closer to a fixed-term contract, and very different from the abusive type of slavery seen in the early days of the United States.
2. While it was open for the servant to stay with his master, and therefore keep his wife and children, he didn't have to, and there was no criticism if he didn't. In fact, if he had to stay with any wife his master gave him, there would be no need for this law.
3. If he stayed as a servant it was because he loved his master, not because he loved his wife!
4. This scripture kills off any idea that marriage is indissoluble and permanent. People cannot blame Moses for what is clearly here represented as God's command, and God clearly allows a man to leave his wife to gain his freedom, and for the wife to become his former master's. He would not fulfil the marital obligations to his former wife - his former master would. Here the obligations of the master-servant relationship over-rule those of the husband-wife relationship. This establishes that marital unions can be over-ruled by other commitments.

But now that slavery, or at least this form of slavery, is not widely practiced, can these laws have any practical relevance beyond those few points?

What is written elsewhere in the Bible suggests that it can, and indeed that it does, explaining in part, some of the teachings about marriage given by Paul.

Firstly, there is the whole question of headship, or patriarchy. In 1 Corinthians 11 the Bible tells us that Christ is the head of man, and that man is the head of woman. There is no idea of inequality here, because it also says that God is the head of Christ, but it clearly teaches that man is the head of woman.

In Ephesians 5 the Bible also clearly teaches that wives must submit to their husbands and compares the relationship between a man and his wife to the relationship between Christ and the Church.

The Bible therefore sets up marriage as an authority structure, with the husband at the head and the wife submitting to him. And this helps to explain why the Bible allowed men to have more than one wife at the same time, but would not allow a wife to have more than one husband (see Romans 7 v 2), because, while a master can have more than one servant, Christ tells us that "No man can serve two masters : for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other." (Matthew 6:24)

We can see that marital unions echo the relationship of Master and servants.

"Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey ; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?" Romans 6:16

Combined with what Christ has said about having two masters, it is clear that as Christians we have chosen to follow Christ rather than sin. In a real sense, we have moved from obeying one master (sin) who we used to serve, and into the true freedom of being a servant of Christ.

This is similar to the situation in Exodus 21. If we have married while serving sin, we cannot guarantee that our family will follow us into serving Christ, who said in Matthew 10 vv 35-36 that he had come to set one family member against another, and that a man's enemies would be members of his own household.

It is clear that when we become Christians, we are required to put God first, above our family. We don't physically move from serving one master, out of his house and leaving our family behind, but we do spiritually stop serving one master and start serving another. We become part of the house of God. So, while our family are still physically with us, there is no guarantee that they will follow our spiritual journey.

This is most evident in what Paul says about marriage and divorce in 1 Corinthians 7. The first thing to note is the structure of the passage. Paul talks in turn to three categories of people. In verse 8 he talks to the widows and unmarried, in verse 10 to the married, and in verse 12 to "the rest". Now, if Paul was using the standard definitions of unmarried and married, there wouldn't be any "rest" to talk to, so it is clear that one of those terms must be limited in some way. When we look at who Paul calls "the rest" it is clear he is talking about people who are Christians who are married to non-Christians, so what he says about "the married" can only apply to Christians who are married to other Christians.

Some have suggested that Paul forbids divorce and remarriage to "the married" in verse 10 and that this means that desertion by a non-Christian partner cannot mean divorce and remarriage. But clearly he divides his audience into three groups, and explains the rules for each group, as they relate to the questions he was addressing. This means that we do not have to unnaturally restrict the meaning of what he tells believers who have been deserted by unbelieving spouses.

Essentially, Paul says that some unbelievers will not want to stay with someone who has become a Christian. Where that is the case, Paul says, let them leave. The believer is not bound in these cases. It seems clear that the marriage has ended, and therefore that the believer is free to marry again - because they are not bound any more.

In contrast, where someone has entered into a marriage as an unbeliever, and become saved, he has not done anything wrong, and if the unbelieving husband or wife is happy to stay, then a believing husband should not "put away" (divorce) his wife, and a believing wife should not "leave" (divorce) her husband. Instead, if they can live at peace, they should. We should follow God, and we need not compromise on that, but we should live at peace, not driving them away simply because they are unbelievers.

This means that we do not have to work out whether the unbelieving partner will become a Christian. Paul points out that they may or they may not - we simply don't know - so we cannot use our opinion on that to guide us as to what to do. If they are happy to stay and let us follow God, then don't divorce them. If they cannot stay in that marriage, then let them end it - you are not bound.

Exodus 21 vv 1-4

¹ Now these are the judgments which thou shalt set before them. ² If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. ³ If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself: if he were married, then his wife shall go out with him. ⁴ If his master have given him a wife, and she have born him sons or daughters; the wife and her children shall be her master's, and he shall go out by himself.

Matthew 10 vv 34-39 ³⁴ Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. ³⁵ For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. ³⁶ And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. ³⁷ He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. ³⁸ And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. ³⁹ He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

1 Corinthians 7 vv 8-16

⁸ I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. ⁹ But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

¹⁰ And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

¹² But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. ¹³ And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. ¹⁴ For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. ¹⁵ But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. ¹⁶ For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

1 Corinthians 11 v 3 ³ But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Ephesians 5 vv 22-25 ²² Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. ²⁴ Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us.