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Christians, whether they believe in divorce or not, can usually agree that it is something which is generally undesirable and regrettable in that it cuts across God's declared purpose for marriage. This purpose is stated in Genesis 2 v 24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." The point is reinforced by Jesus, who quoted the same verse and who said in Matthew 19 v 6 "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
What is often not appreciated however is that this emphasis on the unity of a married couple goes further than to discourage divorce and extends to the separation of married couples. Sometimes, when couples are experiencing difficulties in their marriages, counsellors advise them to separate, often for a set period, so that they can get away from fighting one another and consider their future calmly. While the motivations for this advice are appreciated, the advice itself runs contrary to what the Bible teaches. The apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7, showed that couples have responsibilities towards each other. One of these responsibilities is the role of sexual partner to their spouse, and if they don't fulfil this responsibility it is acknowledged that this could lead their partner into temptation towards sexual sin. If you read from verse 2 of that chapter you will see that Paul encourages married people to fulfil the sexual needs of their partners. This is what it means when Paul says "let every man have his own wife". He is not saying that everyone has to be married, as is confirmed later in the chapter. He is saying that a man should physically enjoy his wife, as this will help him to avoid fornication (sexual sin). To back this up he shows that men and their wives have authority over each others bodies, and that they should not "defraud" each other. As Christians, we do not have the option of deciding that the sexual activity in a marriage has ended. The Bible only allows married people to agree not to have sex by mutual consent, so that there can be dedication to fasting and prayer, and even then only for a limited time that has to come to an end.
Paul reinforces these comments by then talking about separation generally among married Christians. "10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife."
Note the difficulties the translators had with verse 10 - describing the woman as "unmarried" but the man as "her husband". Essentially this commands a woman not to separate from her husband, but if she does, she is not then free to marry someone else.
In the Bible, men were allowed to remarry even if they hadn't divorced. This is why many of the patriarchs, including Abraham, Jacob, Moses and David, were all polygamists. In fact, in certain passages in Jeremiah and Ezekiel, God even describes himself as having more than one wife. We do not have to go into all the details about polygamy here, but its existence as part of the law shows that remarriage was not considered adulterous or sinful, for men at least.
In Ezekiel 44 v 22 we are told who a priest may and may not marry. He is not allowed to marry a widow or a divorcee, as his wife must be a virgin (unless she is in fact the widow of a priest). This implies that other people would be allowed to marry widows and divorcees who the priest may not marry, for otherwise there would be no need for the restriction. In fact, this is linked to some of the long-term opposition to divorce within the Roman Catholic religion, which achieved a mildly consistent but perverse interpretation of this verse by teaching that widows could not remarry. This, of course, is in direct opposition to what the Bible teaches in the exception in Ezekiel and in general in 1 Corinthians 7 v 39, which is that widows are free to remarry. This demonstrates that divorced women were free to remarry, just as men were. This is also seen in Exodus 21, which allowed a woman to leave her husband for not fulfilling his obligations, without any restriction concerning remarriage.
Also, it is clear that God's law always allowed for remarriage. Deuteronomy 24 show this to be the case, openly talking of a woman being divorced, and then marrying someone else. If a man divorced his wife and she married someone else, he was not allowed to take the same woman as a wife later on. In giving this rule, the text lays out a three part procedure for men divorcing their wives:-
1) "When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement,
2) and give it in her hand,
3) and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife."
This is a startling procedure from a modern perspective because of its amazing practicality. It is echoed in Exodus 21 by an equally practical procedure for women. What binds these procedures together and contrasts them with modern practice is that they are entirely private procedures. The Bible is very clear elsewhere in the law, about what a man could do if he found that his new wife was not a virgin, or if he suspected his wife of adultery. There the questions are dealt with as public matters, determined by what we would call a court, and according to rules of evidence which required proof, and led to punishment. Here, however, we have an entirely private procedure, solely between the husband and wife. There was no requirement for a court case, and so no possibility of long drawn-out legal proceedings. These passages give either party, when they have appropriate grounds, to call the marriage to an end.
However, it is clear that a divorce, like a marriage, if entirely private, could be the cover for all sorts of immorality and abuse. Marriages and divorces are matters of public interest because, for example, if a woman is married, other men need to know this so that they do not seek to marry her. Equally, if she is divorced, other men need to know this so that they know she is available for marriage, and that any liaisons would not be adulterous. The procedure in Deuteronomy 24 looks after these concerns. It is simple enough to avoid the disputes inherent in a confrontational court procedure, but by requiring a certificate of divorce, gives a woman a document which clearly gives her marital status and on which she and any future husband can rely.
This is reinforced by the lack of a requirement for a divorce certificate in Exodus 21. If the man did wrong, and his wife left him, he did not require a certificate of divorce because, as has already been mentioned, he was already free to remarry, and needed no certificate to prove it.
This procedure therefore draws a distinction between a woman who has been divorced, and who has a certificate of divorce to prove it, and another woman who has merely been "put away", without any final divorce. This distinction is also seen in how God describes his marriage relationship with Israel, which gives us the only actual example of divorce recorded in the Bible.
At first, in Isaiah 50 v 1, God asks the rhetorical question "Where is the bill of your mother's divorcement , whom I have put away? or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away." This indicates that the nation has been put away for their sin, but that God had not made the matter final with a certificate of divorce. We repeatedly see God giving Israel another chance to learn, to repent and to turn to him. And we repeatedly see Israel fail to do this.
This then leads on to further action from God, which is recorded in Jeremiah 3 v 8 "And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce ; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also."
This shows how God viewed the divorce laws as being used. Where a wife was unfaithful, and if the husband was willing to give her a second chance, she could be put away for a time to learn her lesson and repent. However, the behaviour was sufficiently serious that it could lead to the end of the marriage, and this was likely to happen if continual unfaithfulness was displayed.
It is clear from the above that divorce is allowed in the Bible, and that it is done with a view to remarriage. This is reinforced by some more of Paul's comments in 1 Corinthians 7. He says in verses 27-28 "Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned," showing again that remarriage after divorce is not sinful.
This however, does not sit well with what many Christians believe. Often they have been taught that marriages last a lifetime, and that even a legal divorce cannot end them. But obviously this does not reflect the way God set up the law. Instead it reflects our tendency to accept what some religious teachers say without checking it against the Biblical teaching. One prominent religious teacher was Augustine, who maintained that once marriages were contracted they lasted for life, and that divorce was ineffective. Many modern Christians follow a teaching based on a foundation laid by Augustine, rather than that laid by the apostles and prophets in the Bible.
The contrast between how God treated divorce and how those who oppose remarriage treat it is too wide to go unnoticed for long, and so those opposed to remarriage need a theory to explain why this is the case. That theory takes the form that the law in the Old Testament is not relevant to Christians today, and that in some form Christ either abandoned it, or improved on it so as to disallow divorce and remarriage.
This necessity, to introduce a change of the law, results in a number of unwelcome effects. Firstly, the assertion that the law is not relevant often means that it is not taught at all, despite Paul's words in 2 Timothy 3 v 16 that "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness". Hence, many Christians are completely unaware of what the Old Testament says about divorce and remarriage, and when they study the subject, they don't even look at the texts that Jesus and Paul took for granted.
A second problem with accepting the idea of a change in the law before you start is that Christ's words on the matter are then forced to fit this interpretation, just as if they were a piece of a jigsaw puzzle being forced into the wrong place. It is no wonder people become confused when the verses don't seem to fit, and this is largely a result of the assumption that Christ's words abandon the Old Testament and are meant to stand on their own.
Of course, Christ even went out of his way to make it clear that he wasn't changing the law. Check out what he says about the law and divorce in Luke 16 vv 17-18 "17 And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail. 18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery."
Could he have made it any clearer that he was backing what the law said about "putting away"? It should therefore be clear that where God allowed divorce and remarriage in the Old Testament, that continues in the New Testament period, explaining why Paul appears to have no problem with remarriage in 1 Corinthians 7.
At this point it can be seen that the Bible appears to be exceedingly practical with regard to marriage and divorce. Where a marriage has broken up, this is recognised. The Bible talks of the new relationships as marriages, even though someone who followed Augustine would have to say "it looks like a marriage, but it's really adultery". But there is still the question of Christ's comments about adultery. He says that someone who marries a man or a woman who has been put away commits adultery. This is why many Christians are worried about remarriage - they don't want to commit adultery, and when they read these verses on their own, they think that remarriage involves adultery.
However, we know that the verses must never be separated from their context, whether it be the passage they form part of, or the wider context of all of scripture.
So we know that the Bible allowed divorce and remarriage, and that the law described a three-part procedure for a divorce, and that God had followed this procedure himself with Israel. God's messages to Israel and Judah draw a clear distinction between a complete divorce and a "putting away" which was only a part of the procedure. The complete divorce was evidenced by the certificate of divorce, and "putting away" without such a certificate was intended to produce repentance and reunion.
Here is a distinction that translators have sometimes missed. Translators rarely come to the Bible without preconceived ideas as to what it teaches, and this can affect how good their translations become. Where things don't make sense, sometimes it may be because a translators ideas have got in the way of his work. Despite the fact that God draws a distinction between "putting away" and full divorce, and despite the fact that on most occasions the translators are consistent in translating the words properly, there are two occasions in the Bible, one in each testament, where some translators have not been consistent. These are in Malachi where a consistent rendering would produce the phrase "God hates putting away" and not "God hates divorce", and in Matthew 5 where consistency of translation would mean the phrase "whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery" should be replaced by "whosoever shall marry her that is put away committeth adultery". This reflects the translations elsewhere in the Gospels.
Jesus even refers to this distinction in the Gospel passages. In Matthew 5 he refers to how "putting away" a wife needed a certificate of divorce. In Matthew 19 the Pharisees ask him only about "putting away" a wife and he rejects it, forcing them to mention Moses' references to a certificate of divorce. In Mark 10 Jesus asks the Pharisees what Moses commanded, and they refer to the divorce certificate and, in Luke 16, Christ doesn't even mention divorce, but talks solely about "putting away".
In fact, with consistent translation, it can be seen that none of Christ's comments about adultery refer to a complete divorce, but only to a situation where a woman has been "put away". What Christ is saying is that he accepts what the law says about divorce, which is necessary because of the hardness of people's hearts, and that the law required a certifcate of divorce. If a man was to put away his wife at all, as God had done to get Israel to repent, it had to be because of sexual immorality. If a woman was not actually divorced, and just separated in this sense, it would be adultery to marry her. Similarly, if a man was simply sending one wife away so that he could displace her with another one, instead of affording them both, then he was committing adultery by breaking his commitments to his first wife.
It can be seen then that Christ's agreement with the law, and his comments about putting away, mean that separation is treated as a bad thing that can only be justified in limited circumstances, and that remarriage is only described as adultery in the context of people who have been "put away", not in the context of people who have been divorced.
It is clear then that a man may only put away his wife legitimately for sexual immorality, and that if he divorces her it still needs to be for biblical reasons, or he will sin. But even if he has sinned by divorcing his wife unbiblically, this does not mean a remarriage will necessarily involve adultery. Adultery takes place by marrying a woman who is actually still married because she has only been separated from her husband, rather than marrying a woman who is no longer married because she has actually been divorced.
The law said that men could divorce their wives for sexual immorality, and that this would be done by writing out a certificate of divorce, giving it to the woman, and sending her away. Similarly, women could leave their husbands if they failed to meet certain marital obligations relating to the provision of food, clothing and sex. The law was clear about who was at fault. By putting away wives and not giving them a certificate of divorce, it was possible to give the appearance the woman was at fault, without ever having to put it in writing, therefore hiding the fact that the man was at fault.
The Pharisees were only interested in asking about "putting away", only referring to divorce when Jesus asked them, or when they wanted to counter what he was saying about the need for a man and wife to stay together. Jesus countered their interest in this by standing by the law, and pointing out the consequences of failing to follow it.
With this in mind, let us examine the words of Jesus in the Gospels:-
Matthew 5 vv 31-32 31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is put away committeth adultery.
Jesus refers to the requirements of God's law. He then talks about someone who has put away their wife, without mentioning a complete divorce. They are still married, and so sending her away makes her break her marriage covenant, and anyone who marries her would be breaking that covenant, because she has not been divorced, she is still married. The highlighted text shows the correct translation, which is wrongly rendered "divorced" in some versions. The law mentioned divorce, but the cases Christ talks about contain no mention of divorce. As with God's experience with Israel, a man is allowed to put away his wife for fornication.
Matthew 19 vv 3-9 3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
This adds further detail to the above, showing the principle of unity in marriage, the existence of the law on divorce due to the "hardness of hearts", and that the man who wrongly "puts away" his wife and marries another, commits adultery himself.
Mark 10 vv 2-12 2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. 3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall beone flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. 11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
This introduces two new ideas. The first of these is that when the man commits adultery he commits it against the wife he has put away. It is not just a sin, it is specifically against her. Note that he is still described as marrying the second wife. The Bible appears to recognise that they are married, not just pretending. The second important idea to note is that v 12 applies the same principles to women putting away their husbands. This is the first and only time this is mentioned in the Bible, but it shows that, while the law had only mentioned men putting away their wives, Christ viewed it as possible that a woman could put away her husband. This is thought to reflect the Roman civil law and practice of the day, but Christ's reference to the use of the procedure by women shows that they too may use sexual immorality as a ground for "putting away" and for divorce.
Luke 16 vv 16-18 16 The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it. 17 And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail. 18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
This shows the proximity of the comments Jesus made in support of the law to the comments he made about putting away. Again, adultery only becomes an issue on "putting away". Divorce is not even mentioned, possibly because Christ has already covered it by supporting the law of God, which allowed divorce.
Genesis 2 vv 21-24 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Deuteronomy 24 vv 1-4 1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. 3 And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; 4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
Isaiah 50 v 1 1 Thus saith the LORD, Where is the bill of your mother's divorcement , whom I have put away? or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away.
Jeremiah 3 v 8 8 And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce ; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
Malachi 2 vv 11-16 11 Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the LORD which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange god. 12 The LORD will cut off the man that doeth this, the master and the scholar, out of the tabernacles of Jacob, and him that offereth an offering unto the LORD of hosts. 13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. 14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away : for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Matthew 5 vv 31-32 31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is put away committeth adultery.
Matthew 19 vv 3-12 3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. 10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. 11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. 12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Mark 10 vv 2-12 2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. 3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall beone flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. 11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Luke 16 vv 16-18 16 The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it. 17 And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail. 18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
Romans 7 vv 2-3 2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
1 Corinthians 7 vv 1-7
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
1 Corinthians 7 vv 8-16
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
1 Corinthians 7 vv 25-28 & 40
25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
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