Memories | |||||||||||
Army Service | ||
| At the age old 18 years and one week I was called to the forces. I exchange my black Police uniform for a similar one in khaki. I was not overjoyed at the prospect. The war had not ended and I had no wish to take part in it. If I had to do so I wanted to do it as a military Policeman. I boarded a train at Oxford railway station and into a carriage which was already occupied by someone of my own age who was carrying a similarly shaped cardboard box to the one that I had slung upon a piece of string around my neck. These contained a gas mask and, since very few people carried them at this time, it made me aware that this fellow was also destined to join the army with me at Warwick. His name was Chris Timings and he was to become a close friend. And what followed was a six weeks of initial army training. The training consisted of marching up and down the barrack square and shooting the rifle. I saw nothing of Chris during this time. When the time came to leave this barracks and to be allotted to various regiments, there was just one other person amongst the several hundred there given a similar posting to my own. It was to an Officer Training Unit based in Derby. This person was Chris Timings! It was made all the more surprising by the fact that Chris whilst he had attended a public school, I had left school at 14 years of age. I found this all very puzzling. I did not want to join the army and I did not want to be an officer. My thoughts went back to an interview with a selection officer. He had asked me what I wanted to do in the army and I had replied “Military Policeman”. To which he said there were no vacancies but “did I want to take responsibility”. I hesitated to which he said, “well do you want to?” I said “ yes”! I lived to regret this. The next 10 weeks were sheer hell! Most people will have seen films of the bullying that takes place during army training. I don't think any of them adequately depicts the type of bullying that took place at that Derby training centre. I then joined the “Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire Light Infantry”, as a “weapon training instructor”. I was meant to become one of those bullies similar to the ones who had carried out my training. A quite impossible task for me but never the less I did this for two years! | I was then asked if I would take over the officer's mess at the Regimental depot at Oxford. This was a job that entailed running the equivalent of a first-class hotel with the traditions of an ancient Regiment. I asked myself. “What qualification did I have to fulfil such a role?” Previous experience - Telegram boy, police cadet and weapon training instructor. None whatever! I travelled from Cove in Hampshire to Cowley barracks in Oxford to meet the Adjutant who instructed me to learn all I could from my predecessor who was to leave the army in four days time. Four days to learn how to manage a hotel? I had not even seen inside a hotel. I knew nothing of cooking, waiting at table, accounts, staff management or any of the many of the requirements of this task. Why me? I asked myself? The regiment had regular soldiers responsible for catering, much more qualified than I. The one saving grace for me was that my home was 200 yards from the barracks and I could sleep at home in my own bed. The officer’s mess at a Regimental headquarters is the place of tradition. Everything that is done within the walls can be traced back to an event in the past. Some of the officers can even trace many of their ancestors to past officers. Dinner evenings were particularly important. The officers and myself would be in dress uniform and the waiters would be in evening dress (Tails and bow ties). There was much silverware and candelabra in evidence. The Regimental band would be playing themes from the musicals and everything in accordance with tradition. The Port passed one way (clockwise) and the cigars another etc, etc. My duty was to ensure the smooth running of the evening and to check, the wine and cigar consumption so as to add the cost to the Bill. One of the extra functions I had been asked to carry out was preparing the mess bills. When I look back to this period and wonder how it was possible for me to do these things at the age of 19 or 20 without the necessary previous knowledge, or (I would say it ability) I can only think that it must have been because I was completely naïve, and thus being so, did not understand just what I was being asked to do. However, this was only the first of many more times when I was asked or instructed to do a job for which I had no qualification or knowledge. It would seem that, in public service, there was no requirement for professional qualification or expertise. | |