Rock Pets

By: Gaby

Ok I know that this is probably going to be a contentious issue, but the question must be raised as to which pet is the most “Rock n’ Roll” of them all?

For me dogs are a serious no no. Dogs by their very nature are just too soppy and girlie to make the list and even so-called harder dogs such as Rottweilers and Alsatians come over all soppy and gooey just at the mention of “walkies” or the appearance of a nice bone. As far as music is concerned dogs are just too “Spice Girls”, “Girls Aloud”, “Take That”, “High School Musical” and the “X Factor” all rolled into one.

So what about hamsters, gerbils, rabbits and the like? Well if you think that running round and round a wheel all day or chomping down on carrots is “rock-like” then I think you better think twice although a good rodent mention must be made for rats who will eat just about anything when they have the munchies and usually like to hang about with their mates in spit and sawdust places such as sewers. Sounds like a good night out to me! Music wise rodents probably fall into the likes of “David Grey”, “Coldplay”, “Robbie Williams”, “Paul Weller” and just perhaps a bit of “Oasis”.

Ok, so what about fish? Far too wet and boring to make my list! But ten out of ten for being able to swim around a fish tank all day with people on the outside gawping at you. Musically I guess it’s a case of easy listening by the likes of “Burt Bacharach” , Henry Mancini” or “The Carpenters”.

Birds? Feathered variety please! They sure don’t look the part with all that colourful plumage and for the most part are veggies who live on a diet of nuts and seeds. All together a bit too beatnik and hippy for my likings although a good word could be put in for birds of prey although as a pet they could be a bit of a handful and might make your wallet run dry having to buy all that fresh meat. But with all that pruning and showing off all day I guess birds fall into the Disco and Soul music category, liking everything from “Abba”, “The Bee Gees” and “Michael Jackson” to “Kylie” and perhaps a bit of trance and dance music thrown into the mix. But please let us not forget that guitarist Buckethead has an affinity with Chickens. So all may not be completely lost re: birds.

Now what about reptiles? I think we are finally getting somewhere. Not only are reptiles cold blooded and often ruthless predators who kill their prey with nonchalant efficiency but are often a rock star’s choice of pet with both Slash and Alice Cooper proclaiming an affinity with the beasts along with all manner of lizards, spiders and other creepy crawlies. Such beasts just smell of Grunge, Goth and Industrial liking such things as “Nine Inch Nails”, “Marilyn Manson”, “The Cult” and “Nirvana”.

Now finally we come to cats and for me; and it is just my humble opinion, the humble feline is the ultimate rock pet. Let me explain.

Firstly Cats have something that few other pets offer and that is true rock n’ roll attitude! If they like you and want some fuss then they will be all over you like a rash that won’t go away, however if they don’t feel like socialising they will simply take a nonchalant glance over their shoulder in your direction and simply turn away and walk off finding themselves a nice little perch on top of your stereo speakers whilst they pound out a selection of heavy tunes by the likes of SlipKnot or Megadeath.

Cats like all true rock chicks demand attention but only under their terms and if you refuse them they can give you the silent treatment and ignore you for a loooooong time.

Cats are generally quiet and reflective but when the notion takes them they can let out a blood curdling scream that can send the hairs on the back of your neck standing to attention like only the best rock or metal band can do.

Cats are persistent and will never give up when there is something they really want whether that be their favourite toy, a mouse or a bird.

Cats are sexy and they know it! No hair metal 80’s Rock Star could ever preen themselves an much or as often as the average moggie and like all good rockers prefer to live by night rather than day, spending their evenings out and about shagging, eating and generally making a nuisance of themselves until they eventually roll in, in the wee small hours of the morning and cosy up to whoever is in the most appealing and comfortable bed.

For let us not forget that cats are basically “slappers” who are not big on commitment and will basically “do the dirty” with any other cat of the opposite sex who comes within their range and after the deed is done will usually chase them away and never see them again. Remind you of anyone?!

In addition some cats don’t mind the odd recreational drug. Just look what happens when some cats are presented with some “catnip” – freaky man! One must equally not forget that cats never do their sh*t on their own turf choosing instead to do it on someone elses. Smart!

Cats have nine lives and just like many an aging rock band on a comeback tour they will always make a re-appearance just when you thought they were gone forever never to be seen again.

And it is for these reasons that I believe cats are the ultimate Rock Pet and like all good Rockers never to be underestimated or dismissed. They deserve our respect and admiration and if I came across a cat at the bar of my local rock joint I would definitely buy it a drink – “a JD and coke please and a pint of your finest Gold Top for my mate”!

Cats rock and are definitely a mix of “Guns n’ Roses”, “AC DC”, “Whitesnake”, “Motorhead”, “Motley Crue” and “Metallica” all rolled into one fluffy and cute little purring bundle of joy. Now where is little Puss Puss?