8 short people who live in my cupboard

1: Donny Osmond: He's a happy, fat little tyke:
2: Paul Daniels: He likes to climb on the tie rails!
3: Bobby Cannon: He has no taste in braces.
4: Napoleon Bonaparte: He lectures the others on wine but they ignore him because he speaks Funny.
5: Larry Hagman: Oooh what a clever little geezer he is.
6: An elf: Because elves are people too, innit!
7: Ben hur: For "historical" purposes.
8: Sara Cox: She's the only lady but she knows what she wants!

8 frantic quivers

1: When you get out of the bath and discover that you have a hairy spider lodged between your arse cheeks.
2: The feeling you get when you chalk up your pool cue with a nice bit of rabbit.
3: Walking under a walrus on a piece of pavement in a shopping street might make me quiver.
4: If your oily nose were rubbed against a television screen when frankenstien popped out from his coffin and went "Booo, aaaargh, I'm melting into a werebee".
5: I once got a pack of a crystaline substance that I believed to be suger and placed a spoonful into my mouth only to discover that it was acid. And I certainly quivered then.
6: If you're bungee jumping and they forget to tie the rope onto something you might quiver. And shit yourself.
7: When you take a walk along the moores and they just start to disappear.
8: Sexing a lady can cause frantic quivering. Apparently.