8 cracking jokes

1: How many times did the jaw bone crack? 12!
2: What's the difference between an Englishman an Irishman and the Grand Canyon? You guessed right!
3: When is it okay to break a bucket? When the plastic is all cracking!
4: Who do you blame when you fall over a crack in the pavement? The greenest person ever!
5: Is the best thing ever in your crack? Yes, yes it is!
6: If you show me the way to get out of a landslide of catfish what will I give? A cracking embrace!
7: By the time you read this cracks will be? Everwhere!
6: Crackling sounds like it!

8 people who have been strangled

1: Bing Crosby.
2: Malcolm McLaren.
3: Cy Henty.
4: Pink.
5: Dovetail Biller.
6: Smank Patkins.
7: Hoofer Dulfust.
8: Mr Square.

8 things that you could win instead of an oscar

1: A rotting frenchman's head in a plywood box.
2: Some dirt.
3: Everything you already own but smaller.
4: Used bandages.
5: A trumpet.
6: A life size gay man holding his tool.
7: A "Petey".
8: George Clooney.