8 things to do with your own arms

1: Wave at atarfish in order to get them to stop doing the stupid things they keep doing.
8 stupid things a starfish might do:
a: Get it's little legs caught in five doors simultaneously.
b: Try to tap dance on land mines.
c: Grow a shell like a crab.
d: Wear a really stupid hat.
e: Cross a sea lane without looking.
f: Amble about without a care in the world.
g: Mike up a bit of coral.
h: Fuck itself.
2: Help a road accident victim.
8 things a road accident victim might be wearing:
a: Bra over face.
b: Blood.
c: Blouse.
d: Bits of lace.
e: Bavarian pants.
f: Bolts through neck.
g: Bodice (ripped).
h: Stupid grin.
3: Hold a phone.
8 openings from phone conversations:
a: Excuse me.
b: Good afternoon.
c: I'm camp!
d: Hold onto this.
e: Hoops.
f: Mufff me twice.
g: I want double.
h: Mother? Now.
4: Punch a person.
8 people you could not punch:
a: Gandhi.
b: Elvis.
c: Tutankhamoon.
d: Kennedy (that guy?).
e: Hope SAndoval.
f: Murphey Blocknests.
g: Guth Muth.
h: Shobiz Gozzler.
5: Shake a new kind of condiment over food.
8 new condiments and food you could shake it on
a: Pish :: Chips.
b: Garney :: Steak.
c: PB smearo :: everything.
d: Kangit :: Chips again.
e: Struts :: Cheesey biscuits.
f: Foltch :: Bulls scrotum and anus.
g: Pubble minch :: Ham.
h: Salt strings :: Anything at all! It's the cool new thing!
6; Gesture rudely.
8 ways a person might respond to a rude gsture.
a: Throw soap at you.
b: Dance at you.
c: Smack your face with their own hands!
d: Take a leak.
e: Pick up a penguin.
f: Fold you all over the place.
g: Pretend not to notice.
h: Stove you all the way in.
7: Barge people out of your way.
8 things that might inspire you to barge someone.
a: Injustice.
b: arrogance.
c: greed.
d: envy.
e: stupid lanes. To walk in.
f: baseness.
g: sexual taunting.
h: yeast infection.
8: Cut them off.

8 tight places

1: Armpit when properly clamped.
2: Between 2 brick walls.
3: Duck's arse.
4: Duck's beak.
5: Hawks crotch.
6: Doves squeaker.
7: The moons craters and valeys.
8: The goddess aphrodite's vagina.

8 holds

1: The underneiath tree hold.
2: The Scallywags thruster.
3: The Imobile Imp.
4: The UpJacksee.
5: The fingerslip-in.
6: The Round the Back Total.
7: Mudging.
8: My Cocks grabbed.

8 facts about football

1: God hates Football.
2: Americans call it "jog jogs" or "jogging".
3: It would be improved by panthers.
4: Children and adults can play the game.
5: The ball is called a "rubbery pebble" or "smooth stone".
6: Football is played on an arena called a "dolt".
7: Grass covers the dolt like an old womans arms.
8: People actually play football.

8 new sleds

1: The Slipster 1000.
2: JOgalongon top XLL
3: Ruffter RFT
4: Chunk Chunk D.U.F.T.
5: Mazzoowoft.
6: Boofer GMTV
7: Cruthtch.
8: Zoomey the looper of loops

8 items of pet clothing

1: Dog Rhino horn.
2: Vibrating rope tail.
3: Stick insect ilumination chariot.
4: Beeping nose holder.
5: Cat fur coat for all animals other than cats!!
6: Blamonge comb for under shin mounting.
7: Dog exoskeleton.
8: Muffykins hamster dancersize.

8 hollywood schlockfests i may make "one day"

1: The Sound of Music. 8 hour documentry in which I try to explain what sound is and how it gets into your ears.
2: Cassablanket. In which a man smokes a blanket like it's a cigar and everyone sings that war time classic "Roll out that barrel".
3: Terminator 4. John Conner is an orthidontist. What don't you want to here him say after he's been round your house? That's right! "I'll be back to look closely at your gums". It's a clever inversion!
4: The adventurous SPACE ISLAND. An adaption of an imaginary Japanese cartoon about Jimp and his harem of dead space girls! Oh how he longs to be a pristine corpse like his many brides!
5: Akira. Everything goes wrong when I attempt to develop a live action trilogy based on the classic comic while dressed only in a bikini top and shouting at people through a tube. And it would still be better than most Hollywood shit.
6: The hills have EVEN MORE eyes. In which it is established that the hills are in fact a special mine for eyes. Thus explaining just how many eyes the hills have.
7: George Clooney's "legs". Not just a single three hour shot of george clooney flexing his legs in red stillettos. A studdy of how you do things with chickens.
8: Wolverine 2: The Claws of the cat bastards. Logan has a new enemy! An enemy even more sleek and refined than himself! But what could it be!!!!? Could it simply be that the cat bastards are fucking sweet and fucking ace????! Oh. Yes.

8 bad things about sleep deprivation

1: this little monkey keeps trying brush my hair out of my face but when I turn around he's bounded up a tree.
2: walking in a straigtness is next to quite difficult.
3: Morphene works worse. But it whorls.
4: You doze into things.
5: You're spelling goes really really bad. Sometimes.
6: Doug the dog won't dob you but Will the shill will.
7: I just don't do my best work.
8: You get really tired!