(To The Tune (and with apologies) Of The Wildrover) 

  
                                       Geoff he's had his Land Rover for many a year 
                                       And it leaves him no money for whisky or beer 
                                        I'ts no good at turning and slips in third gear 
                                      And the paintwork is shabby and the livery queer 

                                         And its no nay never, no nay never no more 
                                       Will he drive his Land Rover no never no more 

                                          He went into a garage he used to frequent 
                                        and he told the mechanic his bumper was bent 
                                        He asked him to beat it, he answered him nay 
                                         Saying customised jeeps, I will take any day 

                                         and its no nay never, no nay never no more 
                                       Will he drive his Land Rover no never no more 

                                           He went to his pocket as often he might 
                                     and found two bright washers, but no money in sight 
                                       and the nissan mechanic his eyes became bright 
                                     I'll take those two washers for the driving side light 

                                         and its no nay never, no nay never no more 
                                        will he drive his Land Rover no never no more 

                                    He returned to his parent's from whence he had come 
                                         and asked them to forgive their prodigal son 
                                         He swore on the bible his obsession was over 
                                      And he never again would he drive his Land Rover 

                                         and its no nay never, no nay never no more 
                                        will he drive his land rover no never no more 

                                           He attends LR Anon nearly every week 
                                        and swears to abstain from even taking a peek 
                                       Under a Land Rover bonnet or even it's chassis 
                                       No matter how tempting, no matter how classy 

                                         and its no nay never, no nay never no more 
                                       will he drive his Land Rover no never no more 

                                      And he will prove his Land Rover he's not missin' 
                                        Today he gets the keys of his shiny new Nissan 
                                       Four-Wheel drive and lots of chrome and plastic 
                                      and suspension held together with a strip of elastic 

                                         and its no nay never, no nay never no more 
                                        will he drive his Land Rover no never no more 

                                         But wait just a moment its all been a dream 
                                    and sometimes you know things aren't what they seem 
                                        Now Geoffrey don't worry your life isn't over 
                                    You've still got the keys of your precious Land Rover 

                                         and its no nay never, no nay never no more 
                                        will he drive his Land Rover no never no more 
 
 

Written especially for me by Suzy (A Mad Irish Lady)