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Jack sat back in his chair and surveyed his office, resting his feet
on the desk.
As artificial realities went, the Keeper had done a damn good job of picking up all the little details that made this place seem just like the office he had in the real SGC. There was even the dent in the wall behind the door where Jack had taken to bouncing a hardball when he got really bored and frustrated with the piles of paperwork that the Air Force seemed to thrive on. But, then again, if this was all being manufactured from the contents of his brain, didn't it stand to reason that those kind of details would be included? Jack closed his eyes, wishing away the headache he could feel looming. Maybe the best thing to do was to go talk about this with Daniel or Carter, see what they thought of it all. After all, if the Daniel and Carter of this reality were based on his own imaginings, they should be able to understand and explain what was going on. Shouldn't they? Or would their knowledge be restricted by his own? Damn. He hadn't thought of that. If this reality was based on what he could imagine and understand, then their expertise would be seriously hampered. But Daniel had seemed just like Daniel. A little tense, maybe. And decidedly sharp with him. Jack swung his feet off the desk, sitting upright in his chair as another thought struck him. Didn't that mean Daniel was acting out of character? Was this based on what he wanted? The way he needed Daniel to be? If Daniel had survived being left to die alone on that ship, shouldn't Daniel be a little more... friendly towards him? Or was Daniel snapping like this because Jack felt guilty over leaving him to die? This was confusing. Just when he thought that he'd wrapped his brain round it, the whole thing threw another curve ball and sent him diving for cover. He'd been glad to see Daniel looking so well, so happy, not charred and half-dead, that he'd glossed over the fact that it wasn't in character for Daniel to be so snappy. At least, not without a good reason. But this wasn't real anyway, so did it really matter whether Daniel was acting like Daniel? His head hurt. Jack pondered the brief conversation he'd had with Daniel from the time that the Keeper had placed him here, but he couldn't see any reason that Daniel would be upset with him. Normally, even though he was a master at opening his mouth and pissing Daniel off, Jack had to say something specific to do so, and most of the time it was deliberate. So what was going on? Was the Keeper more involved here than Jack realized? There was only one way to find out, Jack decided, and that was to push this reality as far as it would go. Stretch it to the limits of his imagination and see if it snapped. What could it hurt?
Despite his worries, Daniel found himself drawn to Jack, in the unusual position of lurking outside his office around the time that Jack usually left for the day, if they didn't have a mission off- world. He couldn't quite bring himself to knock on Jack's door, as he wasn't sure that he had the words, and Jack staring at him like he had over lunch might unnerve him even more. As a result, when Jack opened his door, jacket halfway on and one hand groping for the lightswitch, he was a little startled to see Daniel waiting there. "Something I can do for you?" "I... er..." Jack stopped, leaving the door still half-open, and pulled his jacket on properly, all the while looking intently at Daniel. "I'm going home, Daniel," Jack said. "I could come over," Daniel said, after a moment's thought. Jack nodded, closing the door. "Okay," he said. Then, just as Daniel was expecting some sarcastic comment, some kind of heavy innuendo, Jack just walked past him, leaving him speechless again.
This reality seemed to be very detailed, Jack decided, slipping behind the wheel of his car, and very extensive. Unlike the last one, which as far as he could tell had consisted of the corridor and the control room, this one extended outside of the SGC, maybe even to other planets? The drive home seemed familiar, if maybe a little truncated - Jack was sure that there were a couple of sections of road missing, but by now he had driven it so many times on auto-pilot, he couldn't have sworn to it. Still, pulling up outside his house and finding it essentially unaltered was a pleasant experience, as was the thought of Daniel coming over. As he retrieved his mail, Jack thought about Daniel's uneasiness. It wasn't as if they didn't spend time off-duty together, so what did he have to be so jumpy about? He'd seemed nervous, almost as if he expected Jack to rebuff him, push him away somehow, and his behavior over lunch had been decidedly odd. Dumping the entire load of mail, which seemed to be mostly junkmail anyway, on the kitchen table, Jack phoned for pizza. When the doorbell rang, he wasn't completely sure whether it was pizza or Daniel. On opening the door, Jack found it was the pizza, but as he was paying the delivery guy, he saw Daniel's car draw up, so he waited on the step for him to get there, the smell of pizza tantalising him and reminding him just how hungry he actually was. That was something. Could he starve in this artificial Colorado? The smell that was wafting from the pizza box was certainly making his stomach rumble, whether or not it was real. "Hurry it up, Daniel." Daniel smiled up at him as he walked up the steps, looking a little more relaxed now. Jack waited for Daniel to pass him in the doorway, then let the door close behind them, as he headed for the kitchen. I can do whatever I want, Jack thought, suddenly. He made himself carry on, his movements mechanical as he produced a plate for the pizza, beer to go with it. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all? Maybe, instead of being his worst nightmare, like the last scenario he'd lived through, Jack thought, this could actually be some fun? He could see what telling Daniel how he felt was like, see what reaction he might get, all without the actual pain of doing it in real life. He could.... Daniel was there, suddenly, beside him, and Jack felt his inventive mind grind to a halt. When would the Keeper intervene? Last time, in the scenario on the ship, Jack realized that the Keeper had made everything go back to the way it was, the others not seeming to have any memory of what had happened before, so he had to think that would be the case again. Putting the last piece of pizza on the plate, Jack wiped his hands methodically before turning to Daniel, deliberately making himself meet Daniel's eyes. How did you tell someone, even if they were a figment of your imagination, that you cared for them more than you should? Particularly if you're trapped in an artificial reality where that person probably can't even respond? He'd seen the way that 'Daniel' had reacted in the corridor, and then again in the control room, each time he was shot - each time Daniel had done what Jack remembered, urged him to make the decision to leave him behind. That meant there was probably a set of instructions that this pretend-Daniel was following, as subtle and cleverly written as those might be. "Jack?" "I am so chickenshit," Jack said, smiling inside at the expression his words caused. "What are you talking about?" "Look at me, Daniel. Look at us. All this time we spent together, you never had a clue." Daniel was frowning now, his arms coming up to hug himself. "Jack?" "For a genius, you can be pretty slow on the uptake sometimes, Daniel." "I don't...." Jack shook his head. "You don't, do you?" Jack took a step closer to Daniel, not liking the way that Daniel moved back as he did so. "I was in love with you forever, and it took leaving you behind to make me realize it." "Leaving me behind?" Daniel echoed, sounding confused. "When? On the ship?" "This is dumb. You have no idea this isn't real. That none of this is real. You're just programmed to respond a certain way." "I have no idea what you're talking about." Daniel had backed away now, making sure that there was as much space as possible between the two of them. "You've been acting a little strange lately, Jack. Maybe you should let Janet check you out?" "There's nothing wrong with me, Daniel." "Then what the hell is this?" Daniel asked, clearly starting to get angry with him. "You're acting like you don't remember what's been happening between us. And then you tried to force me into having sex in my office yesterday." Daniel's voice trailed off. If he could have seen himself, Jack wondered for a brief moment, as his brain tried to process what Daniel had just said, would he have looked anything like as surprised as he felt? "I did what?" Jack asked after a moment, when he could find his voice again. "Don't do that, Jack. Don't pretend you have no idea what I mean." "Because I don't. This isn't real. You are not real." "Don't do this, Jack." "I mean, I never even got to tell you how I felt about you, let alone anything happening between us...." "Jack." Daniel snapped his name out. "You're really worrying me here." "Worrying you?" Jack laughed, bitterly. "You're just a bunch of ones and zeroes zipping round some alien machine. How can I be worrying you?" "That's it. I'm out of here. Go see Janet. In fact, when I get home I'm going to call her and tell her myself that she needs to see you." "Do what you want, Daniel," Jack said, following him out of the kitchen. "It doesn't matter anyway. She won't listen to you - this is all in my imagination." He stopped in the kitchen doorway and watched Daniel leave. After a few moments, Jack heard the front door slam shut. He shrugged, then went back to his pizza - it might only be virtual pizza, but it was still a shame to let it go to waste.
Well, this certainly wasn't a tactic Daniel had expected. Of all the possible responses Jack could have come up with, to pretend that everything was somehow part of his imagination had to be far and away beyond the strangest Daniel could have ever thought. What would Janet make of it? Maybe all those years of covert missions, the things he could never talk about, had finally begun to take their toll on Jack? But why now? He'd seemed so balanced, so normal. And then he'd begun to act strangely - this, however, was the strangest yet. As he was crossing the sidewalk to his car, Daniel wondered whether it was a good idea to leave Jack alone. If he was distressed enough to be talking as oddly as he was, was Jack safe to leave on his own? He couldn't babysit him, Daniel knew that there was no way Jack would tolerate that, but he felt responsible for him somehow. Was it possible that their relationship had been the final straw, that the pressure between them had finally pushed Jack over the edge of a cliff he had been teetering on for a very long time? Daniel had reached his car by now, crossed around to the driver's side, even got his key in the lock, but he couldn't do it. He leaned forward and rested his forehead on the cool metal of the roof. He couldn't leave Jack alone, he realized, not now, maybe not ever. He trudged back up the steps and knocked on the door. "Daniel?" Jack was far more surprised at his return than he'd expected. "I thought you'd gone." "I had. Well, almost." Jack let him in, and Daniel followed him obediently into the house, hanging up his jacket this time. He'd be staying for a while, after all. "What stopped you?" Daniel found himself just looking at Jack, really looking at him for the first time in what seemed like weeks. Though they'd shared a bed, he'd never taken the opportunity that presented to study Jack's face, knowing it made him uncomfortable, but also being a little uncomfortable himself with knowing that it was something *he* needed. "I'm worried about you, Jack," Daniel said. "Isn't that enough?" "You were the one who just stormed out, Daniel." Jack returned his stare, moment for moment. "Want some pizza?" "Look, Jack. I want to help." "Then get me home. Get me out of that damn machine, off this planet, and home. Then we'll talk." "Machine?" Jack rubbed a hand over his eyes, suddenly looking tired. Daniel felt a sympathetic yawn welling at the sides of his jaw, and had to concentrate to push the sudden tiredness he felt away. "Like a cross between a dentist chair and a vacuum cleaner. Metal, chrome, tubing, stuff like that." "What?" Daniel thought for a moment - he'd mentioned the artifacts he'd found on his mistaken trip to a misdialled planet, but when had Jack had the opportunity or the interest to look at those reports in such detail? "Yeah, we visited this planet," Jack said. "Plants, lots of plants, growing in a big greenhouse-type place. Me and the rest of SG-1. Not you, of course, because you're dead." Lost in his own thoughts, Daniel only caught the tail end of what Jack had said. "Dead?" He heard the way his voice cracked on the word, as ridiculous an idea as it was. Now Daniel knew Jack was on something. "Anyway, you haven't been there, Jack. The place you're describing. I went there, remember? When I misdialed getting off the ship?" Jack was frowning now. "Misdialed, Daniel? You never misdialed in your life." The words seemed to hit Jack as he spoke them, the last choking him slightly. "We should sit down, Jack," Daniel said, as he took a tentative hold on Jack's sleeve. Jack went with him, not resisting at all, into the living room, and allowed Daniel to steer him to the couch. "I misdialled off the ship, remember? Ended up on some planet where Ferretti and his team found me, then Ferretti brought me home." Daniel paused, feeling the warmth of those memories, treasuring them for a moment before he spoke once more. "And you were acting like I was a puppy that had followed him home." "Cute, Daniel, real cute." Jack's voice still held the remnants of the emotion that had almost drowned him only moments ago. "Except it didn't happen like that. You died on that ship, blown into a million pieces. Because I left you behind." "Then how are we here, Jack? Answer me that." Jack gestured widely as he spoke, his tone dismissive. "This is all some kind of elaborate game. There's this guy, calls himself the Keeper, and this is his set-up. I thought at first it was some kind of time machine, but this never happened, so it must be something else." Jack looked at Daniel intently. "He can disguise himself as other people, so I kind of keep expecting you to turn into him." "And the point of this... this game?" "Last time, he said it was to change the past. To set stuff right." Jack looked down, studying his shoes. "I watched you die, over and over again, and whatever I tried I couldn't stop it happening, Daniel. I tried. You have to believe me." Jack had looked up as he spoke those last words, as if he needed Daniel to believe him so desperately that even his time-honored reluctance to show any kind of weakness was no barrier to it. Was it that which made Daniel pause? That unusual glimpse into Jack's soul, a side of him which few people ever saw? "You know how crazy this sounds," he said. Jack nodded. "And that there's no way you could prove it." "I know. But it's the truth." Daniel was silent for a moment, considering. If nothing else, Jack believed this, that at least was clear. So, the question was, what next?
Daniel didn't believe him. Not that Jack had really expected him to - there was probably some kind of failsafe in the set-up the Keeper had built, something to stop his creations realizing they were just that. Had he thought this was nice? To be sitting here, talking with Daniel like everything was okay, like Daniel was alive and the whole mess his life had become wasn't entirely his fault? Jack wondered where he could ever have got such an idea. It wasn't nice. It was a pain almost beyond bearing, reminding him of all the bones he'd broken through the years, a throbbing, stabbing, gnawing pain. A reminder of all the things he could never have, the things his own selfishness had made impossible. The worst of it was, he had to keep talking. Jack knew he needed to do this, needed to punish himself this way, so he would never forget the burden of responsibility he carried for Daniel's death, that he was responsible for dragging Daniel on countless missions where they'd come so close to losing him. Finally, confronting Apophis and Klorel, he'd risked too much and Daniel had paid for it. Daniel, the Daniel the Keeper had made, looked worried, Jack could see that. If this was all a result of the Keeper's machines tapping into his brain, they were doing a good job of recreating an authentic Daniel experience, complete with concerned looks. "I never said all that much about the machines, Jack." "I told you," Jack said, "we were sucked into them, me and Carter at least - last thing I remember is hearing Teal'c shouting and then I was here. Well, not here - I was back on the ship." "And it was some kind of... game?" Daniel spat the last word out with the contempt it deserved. "The Keeper, he said it was a chance to change things, but nothing worked." "But if it was a game," Daniel persisted, "what would it matter?" "It mattered because I saw you die, Daniel. Over and over again. And it was like having my heart ripped out." Daniel was looking even more concerned now, his eyes large and intent. "And this isn't much better." "Why?" "Because here you're alive, Daniel. Alive and well and still with no idea what's going on. With me, with anyone. You just go on your geeky little way, oblivious to the fact that I want you so badly it's killing me." "What?" Daniel's head snapped round so fast Jack was worried he'd get whiplash. "Then what the hell have we been doing these past weeks, Jack?" "What?" "You. Me. My bed, your bed, my office almost." Daniel was almost scowling at him now, clearly annoyed. "Sound familiar?" "What?" The Keeper had to know what was going through his mind, how he felt about Daniel, but how unfair was this? Daniel thought that they'd been having sex and he'd missed it? "We...?" "I'm glad it was so memorable for you, Jack." Daniel's voice was acerbic, the words cut like diamonds.
Why were those words of denial so painful? After all, they were consistent with what Jack was saying - he was contending that this was all some huge game, that none of it was real, so why did his denial of their relationship hurt so much? "I know I can't convince you, Daniel." "You can't. It sounds...." "I know how it sounds. It sounds crazy." Daniel felt the anger growing inside him. He hated himself for it - there had to be something wrong with Jack, he'd never behave like this if he was in his right mind. But he couldn't keep the words from bursting forth, the anger he was feeling, the betrayal of what he thought he had shared with Jack was too all encompassing. "That's because it is, Jack," he snapped, not pausing even when he saw that Jack was taken aback by the venom in his words. "You know this is real. That I'm real. What we did, that's real too. Why won't you admit it?" "This accomplishes nothing." The voice came from behind them, in the corner where he knew no-one could possibly be. They were alone in the house. Daniel turned. "These arguments have no value. You must remedy this situation and continue." "See?" Jack said, from behind him. "That's him. The Keeper." They were no longer alone. There, in the corner of the room, was a tall man, wearing an even taller head-dress. His lanky form was draped in an iridescent robe, one that clearly marked him out as 'not from round here'. He looked disapprovingly at Daniel. "Before he came, you were doing so well. So entertaining." "Entertaining?" Daniel heard Jack ask before he managed to. There was an undertone to the statement the Keeper had made that he really didn't like. "You've been watching him before I came? But how...." Daniel heard Jack's voice grind to a halt. "How long have you been watching me?" Daniel asked, dreading the answer. "Since you came here, of course," the Keeper replied. "It has been most... stimulating." "Since he came here?" Jack echoed, looking round at him. His face was a picture of surprise, mingled with not a little hope. Daniel's heart sank as he considered the implications of the Keeper's statement. Jack had been right all along. It had all been one huge game, an illusion this Keeper had sustained, and he had gone along with everything like some kind of performing monkey. Jack had been right... He felt his face flame at the thought of being watched. What had the Keeper seen? Somehow, Daniel had almost forgotten the implications of it all, so engrossed was he in the discovery. He was alive, Jack had thought he was dead, and now he stood a chance of going home, this time for real. Jack was staring at him now, the same way Daniel thought he must have stared at the Keeper. He felt his face heat even more. He knew. Daniel had told him everything, in the time when he'd pressed for Jack to accept what he'd thought was reality. What the hell was he going to do?
It was a clear choice between getting angry or allowing himself to realize the implications of what the Keeper was saying. Was this all some kind of ploy, Jack wondered, another of the Keeper's games? Daniel couldn't possibly be alive, could he? Could he? Jack found himself staring at the back of Daniel's head, willing him to turn around. The embarrassment he saw on Daniel's face when he finally turned was almost the last straw. Maybe this was real, after all? "Daniel?" "If you're right, Jack," Daniel said, refusing to meet his eyes, "then we have to get out of here. We can figure out everything else later." "You must continue!" the Keeper said, as he took a step closer to where they stood. "No chance, pal." "Why should we?" Jack realized he and Daniel had spoken together, grinning to himself as the Keeper frowned at both of them. If he had thought Jack was stubborn, just wait till he saw Daniel in action. Jack somehow managed to still the small voice in his mind that reminded him the Keeper had seen Daniel doing lots of things - there would be time enough for that after they'd got home. "You must." "No." Daniel was stood in front of him still, between him and the Keeper, and Jack moved to stand alongside him, joining him in refusal. "Get the message - it isn't going to happen." The Keeper was scowling at both of them, his hand moving up to hover over a control on his arm. "We want to go home," Daniel said. Jack could almost feel the tension in the air between them. Daniel had lost the redness in his face, the first flush of embarrassment waning, but he still didn't look at Jack, though they were stood side by side. "Why will you not continue?" the Keeper pressed. "You heard the man," Jack said. "Where are the rest of my team?" He took a step forward, towards the Keeper, who touched the device on the back of his hand and was suddenly wrapped in a spiral of light. When it disappeared, the Keeper was gone and they were alone again. "This isn't real, is it?" Daniel asked, without turning to look at Jack. "No." "And all the time I thought I was back on Earth, I was still in the Keeper's machine." "It could be worse, Daniel." "Could it?" Daniel turned now, but still without meeting Jack's eyes. "I thought you were dead. Trust me, that was worse." Daniel turned away again, walking to the window. "But we'll have time for all this when we get home. We need to get out of this reality, Daniel. Find a way out of the machines, rescue the others and get home." "That device he used," Daniel said. "Like Goa'uld transport rings in a way." He paused for a moment, considering. "When I was at the SGC... what I thought was the SGC, I saw that design on some doors. I never thought anything of it." "What?" "I'd begun to wonder why everything seemed familiar," Daniel continued. "The missions, the translations, everything. And every time I thought that way, something would happen to distract me - you'd..." Daniel stopped, looking round at Jack, his face heating up once more. "We'll talk later, Daniel. Now we need to get back to the SGC."
They drove up the mountain in silence. Everything seemed so much less real now, Daniel decided. All the things that he had allowed himself to ignore, pushing them to one side because they didn't fit with him getting exactly what he wanted, seemed to make that realization an obvious one. The joys of hindsight. He followed Jack into the SGC itself, still silent. Daniel didn't know what to say, didn't know the words that would allow him to make sense of all of this and still stay friends with Jack. Was Jack horrified with him? Disgusted? He almost wanted a reaction from him, rather than this emptiness between them. "Where did you see that design? Somewhere we won't get interrupted?" Daniel forced himself to concentrate. "Down by my office, just as you come out of the elevator on that floor." "Right." They stood together in the elevator as it headed down. Was it likely to be easy? Would the Keeper let them go without trying to stop them? The elevator doors opened on his floor, and Daniel followed Jack out, pointing to the door in question when Jack looked to him for directions. Strangely enough, the door opened from the grayness of the concrete corridor to lush greenness. There was even the familiar smell of damp soil, the warmth of the alien structure sweeping over them before they had even taken a couple of steps and the door had closed behind them. "Look familiar?" Jack asked. "Very." Daniel looked round, but nothing seemed to tell him where the row of machines might be. "Where now?" "All we can do is follow the path, see if that helps." "Right." Daniel paused. "Is it me, or is this too easy?" Jack nodded. "And there I was thinking I was paranoid." "Maybe all those times I told you to be careful are finally kicking in?" "Maybe." The path curved, leading into a clearing which looked familiar - there, in a row, were six familiar-looking machines, four of them occupied. "You brought Robert Rothman with you?" Daniel asked, as he walked up to the machine at the end of the row. "He was qualified." Daniel looked at Jack, a small smile on his face. "And you got along okay?" Daniel shook his head, disbelieving. "You must have mellowed, Jack." "Mellowed? I'm a tolerant kind of guy." Jack crossed the clearing to the other end of the row, trying not to look at himself too much as he wrapped his hands round the tubes that held himself prisoner. "Where are you, anyway?" "There must be another set of machines," Daniel said, pulling at the tubes holding Rothman in place. "We'll find you," Jack said. Daniel smiled, then turned his attention back to the task at hand.
The first sensation was of the tubes slithering away, almost as if they were alive. Jack shuddered, then memory came back to him in a rush and he leapt from the machine. "Daniel?" he said, before he remembered. He had freed himself from the machine, but somewhere Daniel was still trapped, held prisoner by the same technology that had held him and the others captive. He heard something and turned to see Rothman standing by the machine at the other end of the row - Rothman blinked fitfully at him, as if woken from a deep sleep. "You okay, Rothman?" "What happened?" "Some kind of virtual reality," Jack said. "What happened to you?" "I was stuck reliving moments of my past," Rothman said, then looked away. "What about you?" "Same here, with one exception." Rothman looked at him, more intently. "Daniel was there." "Daniel?" "He's here somewhere, Rothman. When we thought he'd died on the ship, he escaped and made it here. Then he got caught in these damn machines like we did." Jack had no intention of mentioning anything else about what Daniel had been up to. That was between him and Daniel, and was no-one else's business. "Help me get Teal'c and Carter out, and then we need to go looking for Daniel." Rothman started to pull at the tubes wrapped round Teal'c as Jack headed for the machine holding Carter prisoner. "That artificial reality," Rothman began, "you saw Daniel there..." "He was real." Jack ignored the scepticism in Rothman's voice as he tried to figure out the best way to attack the tubes wrapped round Carter. "I know what you're thinking. I didn't believe it myself, at first, but it's true." "Right." Getting a grip on the tube that looked the loosest, Jack gave it a hard tug and felt it move slightly. "Not that I'm doubting you or anything..." Rothman continued. "Rothman." "What?" "Shut up." "Right," Rothman said, tugging at the tube. "Shut up, Rothman." Jack grinned to himself. It sounded unlikely, but he knew now that it was the truth. And once he had got the rest of his team out of these machines, they'd go look for Daniel and take him home.
The last thing he remembered, he'd been with Jack, in a clearing among lush leafy plants, pulling at the tubes which trapped Rothman into the alien machine. Suddenly, just when he had a hope of escape, Daniel found himself back inside the SGC. "Dr. Jackson?" Daniel turned and found himself face to face with General Hammond. Or, at least, if he didn't know now that all of this was an illusion, that was what he was meant to think. "General?" "Where is Colonel O'Neill?" Hammond asked. "Oh. He left." "Left?" Hammond looked confused. "Did he say where he was going?" "He said he was going home," Daniel said. Then he turned and walked away. "Dr. Jackson." Daniel kept walking. "Dr. Jackson, I haven't finished speaking with you!" "We're done," Daniel said, without looking round. "Stop him!" Hammond yelled, and Daniel smiled to himself at the frustration in that voice. He'd almost made it out of the door before two airmen caught hold of him, turning him to face the general. As he'd expected, as Daniel watched, Hammond morphed into the Keeper, and their alien captor did not look pleased. "What a surprise." "There is no escape." The Keeper's frown grew. "Where is the other?" "He.. well, he escaped," Daniel said, smiling. "Impossible." "Apparently not." The Keeper scowled at him, then turned to the airmen who were still holding onto Daniel's arms. "Lock him up somewhere." "It won't make any difference," Daniel said, as the airmen pulled him away. "I'm out of here...." "We shall see," the Keeper replied.
"I know how it sounds, Carter," Jack said, his frustration rising. "But Daniel is alive." After much tugging at the tubes holding the others captive, he and Rothman had finally freed them. He wanted to go look for Daniel, more than he had wanted just about anything. Did Daniel think he'd abandoned him? Could he possibly believe that Jack might go back to Earth and leave him behind? "These machines," Jack continued. "They create some kind of artificial reality. And Daniel was in there. But he thought he was back on Earth." Jack could see from the way that Carter was eyeing him that she didn't believe him. "I was in there with Rothman, and so was Teal'c - for some reason it didn't work on us in the same way, so we got to be spectators. It was artificial, colonel, but it was fuelled by what was in Rothman's mind, his memories." She looked at Rothman then, her glance full of sympathy. Rothman looked at his boots. "It would make sense that you'd see Daniel, when you miss him so much." "It was real, Carter. Daniel's alive and he's here, somewhere." Jack looked at all three of them. "I'm going to look for him, alone if necessary." "I will accompany you, O'Neill." "Thanks, Teal'c, knew I could count on you." Carter looked at him for a long moment, then nodded. "Thank you, captain. Rothman?" Rothman shrugged his agreement.
The airmen had shoved Daniel into an empty bunkroom, and now stood guard over the door. What was taking so long? Why was he still here when Jack had disappeared almost immediately once they'd found the machine and freed him? Was it possible that they could have failed somehow, been recaptured by the machines? Or was it just that Jack wasn't able to find the machine which Daniel was occupying - after all, he hadn't been with the others. It was strange to think of being replaced. Even by someone he knew well, like Rothman, someone who probably fit in with the rest of SG-1 worse than he had. Daniel considered this, lying back on the bunk. When he'd first insisted on being a part of things, of going off- world with Jack, it had seemed like he would never fit in, but now he couldn't imagine staying behind. Even here, in this game, he had continued to go on missions, even if Daniel knew now why they had felt so familiar. All the Keeper had to work with was the contents of his mind, in order to construct a reality for Daniel to inhabit. And that included making up missions for him to go on, to make him think he was truly back at the SGC. The door opened. "Daniel?" "Sam. What can I do for you?" "What's going on, Daniel?" Sam asked, bringing a chair over to where Daniel was still lying. "Where's the colonel?" "None of this is real, Sam," Daniel said, "and much as I'd love to talk with you, I want it to be the real you." "What are you talking about?" Daniel smiled and said nothing. Sam watched him for a while, before getting up from the chair and walking out, without saying another word. Daniel closed his eyes, deciding that he might as well get some rest while he was waiting to be rescued.
Jack could feel the looks they were giving him, even as he studiously ignored them, and looked for any sign of another row of those machines. As the minutes passed, doubt was beginning to grow in his own mind - was it possible that the Keeper had somehow tricked him? That the Daniel he'd created had been real enough to fool him into thinking Daniel was alive? No. Jack was certain of it. That was the real Daniel - he was alive, and somewhere here was a machine holding him captive. "I see no sign of any other machines, O'Neill." Teal'c's voice was calm, as usual, but Jack had much experience of interpreting the things the Jaffa didn't say. "He's here, Teal'c," Jack said. "We shall continue to search then." Jack smiled to himself. Teal'c would never admit it, but he'd missed Daniel too. The path turned again, then doubled back on itself, before opening out into a clearing. There, as Jack had hoped, were more machines. For a moment, as he looked, Jack wondered if they had gone in a circle, come back to the machines they themselves had occupied, but one of these contained someone. And that someone was Daniel. Jack looked round at Carter - she shrugged her shoulders and smiled, not looking at all upset about being wrong. She nodded at Jack, then looked back to where Daniel was. He looked frail, wrapped in the dark tubes that held him into the machine, chest barely moving as he breathed. Crossing to the machine, Jack began to pull at the tubes, frowning when they moved slightly under his hands. They came loose suddenly, and then snaked back into the sides of the chair. Daniel opened his eyes and smiled at Jack, then looked more than a little embarrassed as he made out the others standing behind him and realized that he was back in the real world once more.
Sam had been pleased to see him, Rothman had grinned at him, knowing that he was likely to escape from the ever-present scrutiny of Colonel O'Neill now, and even Teal'c had looked pleased. Almost. But Jack had been silent, merely nodded in greeting, then led the way back to the 'Gate. Well, at least this felt more real than if Jack had been overjoyed to see him again, Daniel reasoned, as he watched the chevrons light up. He could feel Jack's gaze on him, the weight of it almost tangible, but didn't look round. There would be time enough, he hoped, to sort out what was between them, to somehow straighten out the mess his over-active imagination had caused for the two of them. When they got home. Daniel hesitated by the 'Gate itself, waiting for Jack to join him - he needed to know everyone was safe, watching as Rothman and Sam passed him where he stood, nodding to Teal'c. Finally, after what seemed a lifetime, Jack was there, his face still impassive. "Home?" Daniel found himself asking, knowing it sounded stupid but barely knowing what else to say. "Home," Jack agreed, inclining his head to show that he wanted Daniel to go first. There was an expression in Jack's eyes that looked familiar, Daniel decided, one he had seen on Jack's face more times than he could count. It was only as he did as he was told, passing Jack to step into the wormhole's embrace, that Daniel realized that look - the one he had come to describe to himself as 'exasperated fondness' - was one he had only seen since he had been here.
There's no place like home, Jack thought, as he stepped through the event horizon and heard his boots hit the metal ramp of the SGC with a hollow clang. His eyes sought out Daniel, even as Daniel looked up at him from where he stood waiting at the bottom of the ramp - the others had already headed for the infirmary. This was real, wasn't it? How could they possibly tell? "This is the real SGC, isn't it?" Daniel hissed, as Jack reached the bottom of the ramp. "How can we tell?" Jack asked. "How do you know I'm the real Jack O'Neill?" He understood Daniel's confusion, shared most of it, but he didn't want to see Daniel work himself into a frenzy of over-reaction, panicking at the slightest thing. Daniel just looked at him, his eyes considering, as they headed out of the embarkation room together. "That's a good point, Jack," Daniel said. "After we separated, I was suddenly back in the SGC, with Hammond and Sam and everyone else. And then the next thing I know, I'm waking up in that machine with you leaning over me." "Damn." "I know. How confused do you think I feel? After all, I thought I was back here when I was really stuck in that machine and..." When Daniel's voice trailed off, Jack turned to look at him, though he already suspected what he would see on Daniel's face. He was right, Daniel looked an enticing combination of worried and embarrassed, so much so that the colour was starting to spread even to his ears. Jack decided to have mercy on him, sort of. "But it wasn't that bad, was it?" he asked, his eyes intent on Daniel. "After all, it seemed like things were going pretty well. Some things." Daniel looked away, as he clearly tried to get his embarrassment under control. Jack grinned to himself. There was an up-side to this whole thing after all. The thought of those months without Daniel were starting to fade now, replaced by the reality of having him here, whole and breathing and looking like he was interested in being more than just friends. Not that it wasn't also a licence to tease him half way round the SGC and then some. There were things about how he had been while Daniel was gone Jack didn't want to think about. The way he'd treated Carter at times, for starters. He had a feeling that was going to come back and bite him on the butt when he least expected it. If Carter ever figured out there was more than a platonic relationship between him and Daniel, not that he could ever tell her, that was something he'd live to regret. "Lucky bastard," he muttered, then grinned to himself at the speed at which Daniel's head turned, a suspicious expression on his face. You heard right, Daniel, he thought. But you're not sure, are you? They walked in silence the rest of the way, Jack hyper-aware of Daniel watching him - he knew Daniel had to be trying to figure out whether he'd heard correctly, and what the hell he should do next, if he had. "Here we are," Jack said, as they reached the infirmary at last. "After you, Dr. Jackson." He held the infirmary door open and gestured for Daniel to precede him. "Why thank you, colonel," Daniel said, bowing slightly. "I never suspected you were such a gentleman." Just as he stepped forward, Jack let the door go, so that it slapped back in Daniel's face. "I'm not." Daniel just stared at him for a moment, then started to laugh. "I think we're back in Kansas," Daniel said, when he'd managed to get his laughter under control long enough to speak coherently.
Once again, Jack had done just the right thing, responded exactly the way he ought to rather than the way Daniel expected him to. That had reassured Daniel more than any other action, even if it had momentarily annoyed him as well. If the Jack he had been living with, the Jack he had been sharing a bed with, was based on his memory and imagination, this one's actions proved him not to be a creation. After all, there was something slightly malicious about Jack letting the door swing into him that way, something that spoke of Jack figuring out some slightly out-of-character move that would prove he was who he said he was. Something that would satisfy Daniel's need to be sure he was really home. From where he was sitting, waiting to be given the all clear by Janet Fraiser, he could hear Jack. As usual, Jack was complaining, telling the nurse to keep her damn needle away from him, that if he wanted a hole put in him, he'd ask a Goa'uld and it would probably hurt less. He'd always wondered why Jack bothered - most of the time the nurse would just keep insisting that they had to have a blood sample, and protesting never worked in the long run. But in some ways it seemed like it was a part of Jack's routine, his ritual for returning to the SGC, something that let him focus on the trivial to forget the vastness of some of the other things he had to deal with. And Daniel could understand that very well. There were things about the past weeks he wanted to forget, but he knew they were burned into his memory. That it would be painful to try and ignore the feelings he had for Jack, try and push them back into the box when they had been allowed so much freedom. But there was still hope, wasn't there? He'd seen the way Jack looked at him. Now Daniel had to hope that the things he'd conjured up, making a life for himself with a Jack who didn't really exist outside of his imagination, were closer to reality than he had ever dared to consider. All the signs were there, Daniel decided, listening with half an ear to Jack's continued protestations. Now he had to decide how to cross the divide from imagination to reality, this time without the help of the Keeper.
Jack kept half an eye out for the vampire nurse - every time they stuck him with those damn needles, they hurt way more than they should, yet still they looked at him like he was some kind of wimp for objecting. The tapping of footsteps across the concrete floor brought him back to the here and now. Janet Fraiser was there, as he had expected, smiling at him as she glanced up from her clipboard. "You're free to go, colonel," she said. As she turned, Janet hesitated, then turned back to him. "And could you do me a favour? I can make it doctor's orders, if I have to...." "Threatening me doesn't make me want to do stuff, doc, you should have figured that out by now." "Could you take Dr. Jackson home with you, colonel? Keep an eye on him?" Janet looked at him, her intelligent eyes innocent. "I hate to think of him in that apartment of his, after it's been empty for so long." Jack just looked at her. How did she know he hadn't emptied it so the landlord could rent it out again? "Sure thing, doc." Sometimes, it was easier not to ask - just go with the flow. He gathered Daniel up on his way out of the infirmary, gesturing at him to come along and not waiting to see if Daniel hopped down off the bed where he was sitting and did so. Jack wondered if he was broadcasting some kind of signal, something like 'will take home small puppies and lost archaeologists'. "Where are we going?" Daniel asked, when they got into the elevator. "Home. Doctor's orders." "But...." Jack looked at Daniel - the stark light in the elevator made him look very tired all of a sudden. "How long have I been... missing?" "Months." "So my apartment is history." Daniel looked down, then up again as another thought struck him. "Where's my stuff?" "Your apartment is fine - it's only been a few weeks since..." Jack paused, then changed the subject. "It's a bit dusty, but otherwise okay." Daniel relaxed, slumping back against the elevator wall and closing his eyes. "But we're going to my place." "We are?" Daniel asked, his eyes popping open suddenly. He looked wary. "Why?" "Doctor's orders." "You said that." "I was checking to make sure you were listening," Jack said, patiently, as he watched Daniel close his eyes again. Was it his imagination or did Daniel look like he was panicking slightly? "You okay?" "Tired," Daniel said, without opening his eyes. Jack watched him, his eyes making an attempt to memorize the way Daniel looked. He tried to remember the last time he had really looked at Daniel - even when Daniel had been such a major part of his life, Jack knew that he had never taken the time to consider he would want to remember what Daniel looked like. In the weeks he'd been dead, Jack had thought about that a lot, wondering why he'd never spent more time with Daniel, got to know him any better. All that would change this time, he told himself. And this time, it seemed that the reality the Keeper had constructed might help him with this - Daniel had become so close to that Jack, so reliant on him, that Jack figured he had a headstart on making that relationship a reality here as well. And, as soon as Daniel had got a good night's sleep, Jack intended to get to work.
This wasn't what he wanted, Daniel decided, as he let Jack shepherd him across to his car, even though it felt so familiar. It felt like last time he had thought himself home, and Daniel wondered if he would ever stop getting this overwhelming sensation of deja vu. He glanced across at Jack, watching the way the lights of passing cars played across his face, and wondered whether he had the nerve to push for what he really wanted. And how would Jack react, anyway? He knew that Jack knew exactly what had been going on back in the artificial reality - what little he had left to Jack's imagination, the Keeper had helpfully filled in by his innuendo-laden comments. Daniel felt his face warm at that thought. Damn. Jack knew, or suspected, everything. Well, at least he didn't seem shocked or horrified by the idea that Daniel and his alter ego had been more than just friends. That had to be good, didn't it? Now, though, he had no idea what to say. He wanted to set things straight between them, make sure that Jack had the right idea about how things had been - after all, he'd been placed in that reality at just the wrong time, in so many ways, just when things had started going bad between him and 'Jack'. It must have been part of the Keeper's ploy to stop him getting suspicious - now he thought back, Daniel realized that every time he had begun to wonder why everything seemed so familiar, 'Jack' had done something to distract him. And the last something had been the most drastic of all. If it hadn't been quite so nerve-wracking, Daniel would have admired the cleverness of it. Certainly, Jack coming onto him that way had stopped him wondering about his feelings of deja vu, making him more concerned with trying to get back into Jack's good graces after pushing him away. Damn. He'd let Jack push him around, almost force him into something he didn't want to do in the first place, and then he had been the one trying to apologize? What did that say about him, if he let that happen? Maybe that reality was a practice run, Daniel decided. A chance for me to see what it was like to be involved with Jack, see the pitfalls so I can avoid them in the real thing? That possibility felt a little more comforting than considering the fact that he had been entertainment for the Keeper. Just how much had the Keeper seen? Had he been there all the time? "Do you think he was there all the time?" Daniel asked, staring resolutely through the windshield into the darkness. He didn't want to think about the implications of that, the things he had done in the privacy of his own apartment, with an unseen audience. The Keeper had implied that he had been watching all the time, and Daniel swallowed nervously at the thought. "He said you were very entertaining," Jack answered, his tone wry. "That kind of suggests he was watching you." Daniel thought about this, wondering what Jack was thinking. He sounded a little envious, Daniel decided after a moment, a little regretful. "I'm sorry you had to go through thinking I was dead," Daniel continued, trying to change the subject slightly. "And then to see me die...." "Can we talk about something else?" Daniel glanced across, but Jack was still concentrating on driving. "Strangely enough, Daniel, I really don't want to think about that."
Way to go, Daniel, Jack thought. Kick a guy while he's down, why don't you? He knew Daniel hadn't meant it that way, but the words still burned at him. Leaving Daniel behind had been bad enough, the months he had lived with the idea he had left him to die alone had been agonizing, and then to have to experience it all again as part of the Keeper's twisted game.... He wondered how Daniel must be feeling. To discover that the life you'd made for yourself was only a fantasy, a scenario in someone else's creation. But at least that Jack had experienced something this one hoped to be sharing real soon - a life with Daniel. He'd tried to concentrate on driving, but the Keeper's words kept coming back to him. Daniel had been entertaining, had he? Stimulating? Damn. Jack was starting to be envious of himself, and that was more than a little confusing. When they finally pulled up outside Jack's house, he was relieved - the journey down the mountain had seemed to last forever, but it had given him time to be certain. He wanted this, he wanted Daniel.
It was deja vu all over again, Daniel decided, as he followed Jack up the steps to his house. This was so like the last time he'd come back to the SGC, it was starting to worry him. Jack was watching him with the same kind of expression, though at least this time he didn't feel quite so tired. Jack's house looked much as he remembered it, it looked comfortable and homely, more so than his apartment had ever managed. Maybe that was because of the time Daniel had spent here when he came back from Abydos? And where was Jack, anyway? Daniel turned, to look for him, only to find that he too was being watched. "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Beer?" Jack asked, his eyes intent on Daniel. "I'm fine." Jack nodded, stepping forward. "At least give me your jacket, Daniel," he continued. "Let's make it look like you're planning to stay a while?" Daniel smiled, shrugging out of his jacket - he felt his smile waver slightly when his hand brushed Jack's as he passed his jacket over. "Make yourself at home." Daniel sat, sinking slightly into the couch. He closed his eyes, resting his head. He felt the couch shift slightly as Jack sat down too, but managed not to look. For a long moment, Daniel just sat there, conscious that Jack was watching him, as he tried to maintain the pretense of not being bothered by it in the slightest. He took a deep breath, to steady his nerves, then opened his eyes. As he had suspected, Jack was right there, just watching him. Daniel swallowed nervously. "Does it make any sense," Jack said, without breaking eye contact, "if I say I'm jealous?" "Jealous?" "Of myself." "Oh." Daniel thought about that for a moment, forcing himself to look away as he felt himself beginning to squirm under Jack's scrutiny. "That sounds weird." "I meant everything I said, Daniel. About being chickenshit and all, about never having the courage to tell you how I felt." Daniel heard Jack sigh. "At least one of us had the cojones to tell the truth." "In my imagination," Daniel said, looking round once more. "That Jack wasn't real, remember? If the Keeper created him from my imagination, my memories of you, then he obviously got it wrong. The Jack I knew there never had the nerve to say anything until I pushed him to, but here you are...." "You can't beat the real thing," Jack said, grinning slightly. "If I'd thought about it," Daniel said, "I'd have realized it wasn't real. That Jack did stuff out of character, things meant to distract me from realizing something was wrong." "You said something about your office?" Jack asked, his tone trying for casual but not quite making it. Daniel glanced at him, hearing the ice beneath the words. "The real Jack O'Neill would never have done anything like that. That was the Keeper's last ditch attempt to stop me thinking about what was wrong, before he stuck the two of us together." "You sound so certain of that." "Because I am," Daniel said, leaning forward, towards where Jack was sitting. "I know you, remember? You'd no more try and force someone into something than grow wings and fly. As soon as he did that, I should have guessed something was more than wrong, should have realized...." "You trust me that much, even after I got you killed?" "I'm here," Daniel said, his hand coming up to rest on Jack's shoulder, squeezing gently. "Here, for real, Jack. I chose to be there, like I choose to be here. With you."
Jack found himself staring at Daniel, the only thing rooting him in the here and now the warmth of Daniel's hand where it rested on his shoulder. "I was an idiot," Jack said. "I should have told you how I felt. After all, it seems like we face death every day." "You thought you had more time." "That's no excuse, and you know it." Daniel smiled, then leaned forward slightly. "Then make it up to me, Jack," he whispered. "All that time we were apart, the things you wanted to say." Jack's words stuck in his throat. Where should he begin? "I don't know what to say." "Then show me."
Had his time with the other Jack made him bolder, Daniel wondered, or was it just that he wasn't worried about how this Jack, the real Jack, might react? He'd seen the signals, added it all up, and this time he knew everything was going to be okay. And by his actions so far, Jack had told him all he needed to know, told him enough to know the feelings he'd given the Jack created from his imagination hadn't been so far off the mark. He'd always trusted Jack, even back when he hadn't particularly liked him. Even then, he'd seen something in him, something that Charlie's death had buried but could never destroy completely - Jack needed to be needed by someone. He'd had that with Charlie, rather than with Sara, and in some ways he had latched onto Daniel to fulfill that role. Normally independent, Daniel found something reassuring about Jack wanting to protect him, even when it bugged the hell out of him. It wasn't, Daniel realized early on, that he thought Daniel needed a baby-sitter of sorts, but that Jack needed to know he was okay. And once he'd figured that out, it wasn't quite such a burden - an annoyance at times, but never a burden. After all, how could Daniel complain at being the center of someone's attention, particularly someone he cared about as well? And when that someone was sitting only a few inches away from him, looking at him like he was the Holy Grail or something, how could that ever be a bad thing? "I guess you're wondering what I got up to back there?" Daniel asked, sliding closer to where Jack was sitting on the couch. He smiled to himself as he saw Jack's eyes on him, fixed there so that nothing short of a direct Goa'uld attack on the house was likely to distract him. "The thought..." Jack cleared his throat and tried again. "Thought had crossed my mind." "I bet." "Aw crap," Jack said, then pounced, grabbing a handful of Daniel's shirt and pulling him close. Close enough that they were eye to eye now, and there was no mistaking the expression on Jack's face - it told Daniel everything he had always wanted to know, showed him everything he had always wanted to see. "Is it time for show and tell?" Daniel asked, leaning even closer. "No. Just show," Jack said, closing the distance once and for all.
The Keeper smiled to himself as he watched them together. He should have thought of this before. This way, at least, he'd have a little more time to watch them. The others had proved less than helpful - the woman and the alien had been somehow immune to his technology, and the other was tedious to say the least. It was unlikely these two would be fooled for very long - they were both perceptive, both intelligent - but this way he had the other's memories to tap into as well, so who knew how long it might be before they began to suspect that anything was amiss? And anything they could give him, could give his Residents, was a good thing. He smiled to himself once more, then settled down to observe.
~*~ fin ~*~
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