Sing along to the proper song, it all fits!
He tells me every day
He says "I really love to cook my dinner
and serve it on a tray"
He cooks with the gas
He doesn't answer the phone
By his oven he will ever stay
He never eats out he always eats at home
Well my friend
You gotta say
Cook all day, cook away--,all day--, all day
Naa naa why don't you get a hob
Light the flame, light the flame, the fla--me,
Naa naa why don't you get a hob?
I guess all this food, well it isn't enough
To keep the hob in use all day
I guess all this food, well it's not enough
To have all this gas burn away
Cook all day, cook away--,all day--, all day
Naa naa why don't you get a hob
Light the flame, light the flame, the fla--me,
Naa naa why don't you get a hob?
Well I guess all this cooking must drive you up the wall
But hey man, why don't you set up your own cafe
Let me tell you about the other friend now
My friend's got a toaster and she loves that bread
She toasts it in a special way
For her poor kids, toast is all they get fed
Well tell her
You gotta say
Cook all day, cook away--,all day--, all day
Naa naa why don't you get a hob
Light the flame, light the flame, the fla--me,
Naa naa why don't you get a hob?
by Alex H
"CAKE BAKERS" - alternative lyrics to "Buck Rogers" by Feeder
Perhaps these need a little refinement, but here goes:
And I can't wait to use it anymore
I think I'm gonna bake it
Cake Bakers... Cake Bakers
We'll start over again
And I can't wait to use it anymore
I think I'm gonna bake it
by Alex H
"HOW BIG IS THAT SHOE?" - alternative lyrics to "How Was It For You?" by James
These were for a competition, so I spent a bit of time on them:
Perhaps a dwarf and that shoe would be inseparable
How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe
I really need the right size shoe to jump those fences
Hell I don't believe it I am so restless
How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe
Was that size meant to be for me
How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe
If I wasn't out of my head I could earn this wealth
How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe
Was that size meant to be for me
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
I do speak not in scorn
Can't stop this squealing, yeah
by Alex H
"PARISH VICAR" - alternative lyrics to "Firestarter" by The Prodigy
I haven't got this song, so can't really see if the lyrics fit well:
I'm a parish vicar, friendly parish vicar
I'm the itch that started, wealth accelerated
I'm a parish vicar, friendly parish vicar
I'm the one predicted, dunked biscuit-eater
I'm a parish vicar, friendly parish vicar
Vicar... Vicar... Vicar
by Alex H
"SAFEWAY SHOPPING FOR CAKE" - alternative lyrics to "Seven Days In The Sun" by Feeder
A request, this one. The briefing: write a song about Barbie and coloured cake! No problem:
I am a doll, my name is Barbie
Safeway shopping for cake, Safeway shopping for cake, Yeah
We have this dog
Safeway shopping for cake, Safeway shopping for cake
Ken's a Welshman, I have a birthmark
Looking through the crowd, its spinning the aisles around
We used to bake a cake In our stove inside the kitchen
Ken's a Welshman, I have a birthmark
Go bite my crust, Go bite my crust
The cakes we dined.
by Alex H
"HOME AS WE WERE" - alternative lyrics to "Come As You Are" by Nirvana
Another request for a Barbie song (its true!), I chose Come As You Are:
khaki-- agh, khaki-- agh, khaki-- agh
Home aroused you stud, smoked the peach
khaki-- agh, khaki-- agh, khaki-- agh
And I swear that we don't have no fun,
khaki-- agh, khaki-- agh, khaki-- agh
And I swear that we don't have no fun
khaki-- agh, khaki-- agh
by Alex H
"SLICE BY SLICE" - alternative lyrics to "Piece By Piece" by Feeder
Well, I did 2 songs that mention cakes, and someone seems to think I have such a "cake baking problem", they go and change lyrics for it!
Alex sits in his ovens heat
'Cause nothing ever lasts forever
Cake baking, it's pulling him down
Waiting for icing to set
'Cause nothing ever lasts forever
Cake baking, it's pulling him down
... the cake's worth waiting for...
'Cause nothing ever lasts forever
Cake baking, it's pulling him down
Cake baking, it's pulling him down
by Lou S
"FARMERS" - alternative lyrics to "Good Souls" by Starsailor
If you enjoyed Lou's little parody above, well here she has another. To quote, "It's about my Shaun the Sheep bag,
who wears a kilt, a little white t-shirt, a bandana and karma beads, and has his nose and eyebrow pierced."
Shaun the Sheep of Wallace And Gromit fame of course. Although I'm sure his nose and eyebrow weren't pierced...
So I turn to you and I say
Dive straight into the sheep-dip
So I turn to you and I say
One good day of the week and I'll be warm again
So I turn to you and I say
by Lou and her Travis-fanatic friend (Kayleigh)
"SUGAR FREE" - alternative lyrics to "Turn" (radio-edit) by Feeder
Here's Lou again. I think she's trying to take over this page but don't tell her I said that. These may just be even funnier than her last though,
but remember, it's not me with the cake or Barbie problem. Honestly. But now I've said "honestly", you probably won't believe me...nevermind.
'Cos I don't wanna see a dentist
And I don't wanna sit here eating cake
I'm seeing things, I'm going crazy
'Cos I don't wanna see a dentist
And I don't wanna sit here eating cake
So come on, give in
And I don't wanna sit here eating cake
By Lou S
If that's inspired you to write your own lyrics to a popular song, don't forget, send them here:
He's got a brand new oven
And some eggs & flour
Its got adjustable temperature
Cooks a cake in an hour..hour..hour..hour
I think I'm gonna cook it yet
So don't you try and stop me, anymore, anymore
Get some new ingredients
Get it in the oven
Smell the baking heaven..heaven..heaven..heaven
I think I'm gonna cook it yet
So don't you try and stop me, anymore, anymore
For if my foot was that small then what would I say
If my foot was that small, a stone I would weigh
How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe
How big is that shoe
Can you see me face down when I fall in the soil
Do not laugh at me when I fall in that hole
Fall in that hole
How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe
How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe
Well that's the smallest I've ever seen
And it's the worst its ever been
How big is that shoe for me
Is it big for me that shoe
But what did I know way back in the womb?
I've been obsessed this hex it could destroy myself
I could be prancing over fences but I'd never know
I'd never know
How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe
How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe..How big is that shoe
Well that's the smallest I've ever seen
And this is the worst its ever been
I need some shoes to cross the lands
My feet are cold they need to be warm
Only me and my feet can understand
Need to be warm
Don't understand
My climbing walls
The crossing lands
Can't stop this squealing, woah
Can't stop this squealing, yeah
Can't stop this squealing, woah
Can't stop this squealing
I'm the devil blunted, heaven instigated
You're a parish vicar, minted parish vicar
Yeah, I'm from the church belated, local council instigated
You're a parish vicar, minted parish vicar
Yeah, its Jesus allocated, tainted propagator
You're a parish vicar, minted parish vicar
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Me and Ken, bright coloured cake shopping in Safeway
We took a trolley, through the second aisle
To view the gateau cakes new
We stood and thought of spoons
For eating cakes with prunes
Way back one day
Ken's a Welshman, I have a birthmark
He's a Welshman, go bite my crust
His name is... Fido
He likes to pee-pee every time we jog
In a shade of yellow
We told him off, said he was a cast-off
We jogged off through the meadow
But now he's not around
Got eaten by a wolf-hound
Way below the clouds
He's a Welshman, go bite my crust
So go and bite my crust - go and bite my crust So go and
What was this song about
Sometimes the oven would misfire And bang into the sky in Devon
They used to be sugar free
No chocolate, fudge or toffee
Safeway shopping for cake
He's a Welshman, go bite my crust
Go bite my crust, Go bite my crust
As I want us to be
Me and Ken, me and Ken, so fun and carefree
Drink your wine, have a sup
Your bed-sores, need help mate
Make some toast, at weekend, in your old khaki-- aagh
As I want us to be
Don't pretend, at weekend, in your old khaki-- aagh
No we don't have no fun
No we don't have no fun
No we don't have no fun
No we don't have no fun
No we don't have no fun
Nevermind, its the first entry on to this page by a person other than me (they're good too):
Children playing by his feet
See the smiles on cake dough faces
Sees his cake begin to sink
As the wind blows round the tin
Leaves him open to temptation
We're like candles on this cake together
Tearing him down, slice by slice
And he can't see that's it's creating steam
It's melting the cream, it's too hot to eat
Thinking about baking debts
Trying to be a chef he'd like to be
Selling cookware on the road
Where the hell can he still go
Leaves him open to temptation
We're like candles on this cake together
Tearing him down, slice by slice
And he can't see that's it's creating steam
It's melting the cream, it's too hot to eat
... it's still worth waiting for...
We're like candles on this cake together
Tearing him down, slice by slice
And he can't see that's it's creating steam
It's melting the cream, it's too hot to eat
Tearing him down, slice by slice
And he can't see that's it's creating steam
It's melting the cream, it's too hot to eat
'Cos I know the light from the burning sun won't stay
Sheep, I'm a sheep every day
Is my headgear okay?
I need to be warm
Christ, I'm out of my depth
The grass is too long, The grass is too long
Thank goodness for the farmers
That make life better
So I turn to you and I say
If it wasn't for the farmers
Life would not matter
But save your bandana, the fabric will wear
Dive straight in at the deep end
But save your bandana so it doesn't tear
Thank goodness for the farmers
That make life better
So I turn to you and I say
If it wasn't for the farmers
Life would not matter
One good day of the week, I'll be richer than the whole sheep pen
Thank goodness for the farmers
That make life better
So I turn to you and I say
If it wasn't for the farmers
Life would not matter
I've been thinking I may be
Slowly losing my mind
I find myself talking to sponge cakes
Supplying my sweet tooth
With sugar again
'Cos I might get his young apprentice
Doing so would be a big mistake
I wish that sticky cakes were sugar free
'Cos I don't want a mouth of rotten teeth
Alex's obsession with Barbie
Is overstepping the line
She found herself endorsing pink toothpaste
So she doesn't get sued again
For the twentieth time
'Cos I might get his young apprentice
Doing so would be a big mistake
I wish that sticky cakes were sugar free
'Cos I don't want a mouth of rotten teeth
There's no sugar in this cake
So come on, don't forget
We've gotta clean our teeth again
Doing so would be a big mistake
I wish that sticky cakes were sugar free
'Cos I don't want a mouth of rotten teeth
himh@btinternet.com
